Well Ella's still laid up with a broken leg, and GOD Forbid
Boaby has to put up with her Mother staying with them. Boaby was gasping for breath as he carried Ella down the Stairs
and placed her in a Wheel Chair.
Boaby and Ella sat at the table expectantly, As Mither Breezed
into the Room carrying Two plates.
Ah! Weel I ken she likes Processed Peas wie hur Mince so I jist added them as well, It saves oan the Washing up.
The Auld crone heads back into the Kitchen and returns setting down her plate on the Table.
A Wee bittie Sirloin Steak wie fried Onions, I canna go that Foreign Muck you lot eat. She said stuffing a Chunk of steak into her mouth and chewing noisily.
Boaby Pushed the plate of disgusting Mush away from him and Stood up Banging his Knee off the Table leg.
Oh! Here I furgot aboot that! Said Boaby to himself, Spotting a
MacDonalds Burger Place just across the Street.
The Youth disappeared for a moment returning with Two plastic Cartons which he placed in front of the wee man.
RIGHT! Lets get this Straight. I buy this Burger said Boaby holding up one of the Cartons and YOU Give me that other one free?
So! Said Boaby putting the Carton back down, As I only want one,
I'll take the free one Thank you very much said Boaby walking
out the Door. The Howls for the Spotty youth didn't bother Boaby as he walked
down the Street Munching his FREE Burger.
Now for Years the Door to the Piston Broke had been jamming and
needed a good pusk or kick to get it to move. Boaby unaware that
the door had been fixed met it at his usual velocity
The Pub door Flew open at the Speed of a Missile. Boaby was only mildly aware of the poor bloke that had been standing beside it, Being flattened and falling to the floor totally KOed.
On hearing Boaby request he turned around to reveal he was wearing Black Leather Gloves and a SKI Mask.
Eh? Am no Alec screamed the Man. This is an armed hold up so
get on the Flair wie the rest of them he screamed. Boaby looked around the Pub but apart from Himself he didn't see
anyone apart from the Unfortunate guy he had hit with the Door.
Boaby looked round again and for the First time noticed the Unconcious Man on the floor also had a SKI Mask ...Beside him was a Shotgun.
OH CHRIST! JEEZ SUFFERIN CHRIST said the Robber. flinging his
arms high in the AIR Don't shoot me Mister ...Its a Fair Cop.
Yup! the highly trained Glasga Swat Team had arrived on the
Scene.Act First ask Questions later, their Motto Three Burley Polis Flung themselves Fearlessly into the Back of
the Wee man Standing in the Middle to the PUB brandishing a
Shotgun.
Oooofff! The wind flew from Boaby's lungs and as his Body under the combined weight of three policemen fell to the floor the Gun suddenly went off
The Spray of Pellets from the cartridge shot up at an angle shattering a large clay Pot on a shelf on the wall, The bottom half of this pot toppled from a great height and landed right of the top of Alec the Barmans head.
The Bazturd is firing at us! screamed one of the Polis, and suddenly the Gun was wrenched from Boabys grasp, and 6 Strathclyde Polis started to put the boot in.
Right! Enough fer the Noo. screamed the Inspector. Cuff the
Bugger and pit him in the van. Battered and Bruised Wee Boaby was transported by the arms and
legs and dumped in the Back of the Police van with the other two
Robbers. Well Well! Look who's Hear Said one of the Robbers Is it no the
Bluddy Vigilante He said s he swiftly kicked Boaby in the Ribs.
Gie the Bazturd wan fur me Tony. Ma Heid is
still Birlin fae the wallop he gied me wie thon door.
Quiet in the Back ther Shouted one of the Polis Or I'll come
round and gie yea a right Kickin.
After around 30 minutes Two Burley Polis came in AND ESCORTED BOABY TO AN INTERVIEW ROOM.
Two dectectives sat at a table, And switching on a taperecorder started to Interview Boaby.
Whit? No Me! I only went in fur a Pint ....The robbers have
nothing tae dae wie me. Said Boaby Naw! When the officers entered the Establishment, You were
waving a Sawn of Shotgun in the Air and fired a shot at them!
Armed Robbery! Resisting Arrest! Discharging a Firearm in a
Public Place! Attempted Murder of a Police officer ....Christ
ye'll get at least 20 years fur this Pal so yea better come
clean. But I'm innocent said Boaby, Am a man of good Character ask
anyone. Ask Alec the Barman he said I wiz a Hero fur stopping
the Robbery.
Fur Christsake Alec dinnae mess aboot. Screamed Boaby. Tell them how I knocked one robber oot and got his gun, Yea said I wiz a Hero stopping the Robbery.
Sorry Boaby but I got a hell of a bang on the Napper I can't remember anything like that said Alec.
Well jist noo I do, Because my Daughter is no well, HE Broke hur
Leg and Nose a couple of Weeks ago.
Dunno! I widnae go near his Troosers, But I thought he wiz up
tae no good. I alway said my Ella could huv done better fur
hersel
Thats him! Thats the Guy ...He stole a Burger from me this
Morning ...Yea Bluddy Theif Ya! He said pointing a finger at
Boaby.
Mr Cameron breezed into the Room and laid his Brief case on the Table, I'd like to speak to my Client alone he said.
As the two officers left the Room the Lawyer opened the Brief case and produced a Half Bottle of Whisky, which he opened and took a large swig from.
Right then! I reckon we should turn Queens Evidence, You tell
the Fuzz all aboot the Gang and I'll try tae get yea aff with
aboot 12 Years ....Wie good behavior ye'll be oot in Eight
Years.
Look at it this way Pal. said Mr Cameron, Taking another Hefty Swig out of the Bottle.
Yea ken't the Pub, Yer already known tae be Violent and jist before the Main crime yea Stole a Burger fae a Boy, Top that up wie the fact yea were caught dead tae rights Huddin the Gun and yea fired a Shot at the Polis ......Yea've nae Chance Pal yer going doon.
A Load a Bollocks Pal ...That jist in the Movies. Yer heading
fur the BarL it jist a Limitation exercise noo tae try tae get
yea a lighter sentance than yea Deserve.
Oh GOD Give me Strength! The jails are full of People that
didn't do anything ...Its the fact that yea got caught "No
Daeing" Anything thats the Problem.
Whit? asked Cameron ....Look PAL either way be it Twenty Years
or 12 I get ma Money so you please yersel.
Ifin yea'll no tak my Legal advice then thers bugger all I kin
dae he said swinging from side to side.
While trying to strangle the auld Crone Boaby Bumped into the Ample back of Mr Cameron.
He being unsteady enough on his feet anyway, Fell Forward knocking into Alec the Barman, Who fell headlong and clattered into the Police Vending Machine.
Suddenly four Polis were sitting on top of Boaby, and Punches
and Kicks flew everywhere.
All activity stopped and they all looked at Alec the Barmen
standing with a trickly of Blood seeping Down his Face.
Boaby came in when the Robbery wiz taking place, He Knocked oot
wan Robber and Pinched his GUN and held up the Other till you
boys arrived ...The Mans a Hero.