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Issue #7 Volume #3

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The Tree Flea

By John C. Newby

In a tree there still lives a flea, who said, "From this tree I must flee, for a tree is not for me. So she or he (as the case may be) put on a parachute. For surely from the top of a tree to hop is to far for even a fleeing flea to hop.

"Well I'll be a fat foolish flea," said the other flea in the tree. "You mean you're going to leave me?"
"Yes, Mother," said the littlest flea in the tree.
"Well if you insist and you must. I trust you won't walk around in a fog. I'd rather have you look for a dog."
"Mother! What is a dog?" said the littlest flea in the tree.
"These creatures with features, such as four legs, two ears, and one tail. Watch and you will see one come down most any trail."

And sure enough from down a trail came a long tail and behind it four legs. "What a large yard I'll have ," said the littlest flea in the tree as gazed with glee from his tree.

"Nice doggie!" said the littlest flea as he jumped from his tree.
"I'll doggie you!" said the creature. And "ka-splat!!" He hit with his so called tail where the littlest flea from the tree had landed. Whew!! He missed. Being much lighter than an ounce the littlest flea from the tree landed back into his tree.

"That thing I flail with is not my tail. Even though you may think it a lot of bunk, that happens to be my trunk," said the four legged creature with his tail in front.

"Only trees have trunks!" yelled the littlest flea from his tree. "Surely!" he said out loud, "Such a strange creature must be numb from being so dumb. For walking around backwards all your life can not be good for the rear I fear. Unless that bunk about the trunk was true."

Said the flea to himself, as he thought about the bunk about the trunk, "Now I don't ask much, but for a flea to live in a tree --- indeed that is too much. Tut! Tut all I ask for is one red blooded American mutt. Now she or he need not be clean or mean. In fact I prefer any old dingy, all dirty hog of a dog."

And down the trail without fail was heard a crash. "Maybe a hog of a dog for me." said the littlest flea from up in his tree. "Ha! Ha! This must be a doggie for it does not have the features of the creature with the bunk about its trunk".

"Ha! Ha! It is a doggie." And down the trail dragging its tail came a doggie. A real live old dingy, all dirty hog of a dog. With a hop and a flop, the flea from the tree, jumped from his tree.

"Hi doggie!"
"You are in my way!" said the creature.
"You are a doggie, you have to be with such features," said the littlest flea from the tree.
"I have been called Myrtle, the ten ton turtle, but then that could be only a name."

"I could shout because there's not a doubt," said the flea. "You are a real, live, red-blooded American hog of a dog."
"Call me what you will, but be out of my way---this old dog's been laying eggs all day."

"Where are your ears?" ask the flea from the tree.
"Flea can't you see there's one on each side of my head."
"There awful small." said the flea.
"I've been told I have dainty, little turtle ears." answered the American hog of a dog, who went by the name of Myrtle, the ten ton turtle.

"Your the dog my Mother told me about!" said the littlest flea. "You're the one for me." And he hopped on that dingy, all dirty hog of a dog.

"This should be a lark, but your fur is as hard as birch bark."
"Never fear," said that dingy, all dirty hog of a dog. "It wears, never tears and its tougher than leather and lasts in any kind of weather." But, he said this from inside you see.

"I travel fast and am built to last," said Myrtle, the ten ton turtle, who had features unlike the creature with the bunk about his trunk.

Three hundred, million, billion jillion seconds later they departed. And that night from where the littlest flea could still see his tree they parked in a park.

All through the night the littlest flea from the tree shivered and shook. "I try with all my might," he said, "But things just don't seem right. I freeze all night and sneeze all day. My Mother must have a rail off of her rocker to tell me such a whale of a tale."

"Hog of a dog," said the flea, "I'd rather wander around in a fog than live on a dog. All this flea would like to be is a flea in a tree."

So three hops later the littlest flea from the tree was back in his tree.

"Mother!!" Said the flea, "Henceforth in this tree --- this flea will be."

Pet Poety

We often receive requests to post poems that our users have written about their pets. While we only have space for a few of them here, there are many more to be found throughout the users section of Acme Pet. If you would like to see your poem on the site, send it to contrib@acmepet.com.

Against the World

by Jody Miller, nxs16@msn.com

The most majestic creature found on earth,
To no such other has God given birth.

Standing tall and proud as can be,
I am happy to have one next to me.

Filled with such courage and loyalty,
He treats his person like royalty.

Of what I speak can only be a Dane,
For no other creature could be so tame.

A gentle giant, Listen for the sound,
The thud of his massive paws against the ground.

A noble creature by your side,
Someone close in whom to confide.

With love in his heart and drool on his face,
He will never run away but always stay in place.

His one love of life is the human hand,
Together side by side against the world we stand.

MY CAT

by LM Horvath, April 1997

His name is Boo Boo
He brings joy to my life
He is my friend tried and true
You'll find him outside on sunny afternoons
Playing and wandering, but never straying
Always wanting in by the sight of the moon
At night he cuddles on my lap
As he looks sleepily at me
He lays down his head to take a long nap
No other has such the "catsonality" as this feline
How he makes me laugh
To me, he is a most amazing cat!

For more pet stories and poetry, visit Pet Story Time in Club Acme.


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