¢ o=o=o=o=o=¢¢ Humor Corner¢¢ It seemed to me that it would be¢ appropriate, given the discussion of¢ the Y2K problem on Side 1, to include¢ the two e-mails I received on the¢ topic. They both came from members¢ of LIAUG, our sister club on Long¢ Island. The first is from JIM¢ HARRIS, and the second is from MARK¢ GLICKSMAN.¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -¢ Subject: 100GB Bug¢ Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 ¢ From: Jim Harris¢ To: Alan Sharkis (and others¢ I've edited out -- Ed.)¢¢ Experts Warn of Threat From 100GB Bug¢¢ Firebringer News Service (FBNS) -¢ Experts warned today of a new and¢ deadly threat to our beleaguered¢ civilization: the 100GB Bug. As most¢ people know, McDonald's restaurant¢ signs show the number of hamburgers¢ the giant chain has sold. That¢ number now stands at 99 billion¢ burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB).¢ Within months or even weeks, that¢ number will roll over to 100GB.¢ McDonald's signs, however, were¢ designed years ago, when the prospect¢ of selling one hundred billion¢ hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote.¢ So the signs have only two decimal¢ places. This means that, after the¢ sale of the 100 billionth burger,¢ McDonald's signs will read "00¢ Billion Burgers Sold." This, experts¢ predict, will convince the public¢ that, in over thirty years, no¢ McDonald's hamburgers have ever in¢ fact been sold, causing a complete¢ collapse of consumer confidence in¢ McDonald's products. The ensuing¢ catastrophic drop in sales is seen¢ as almost certain to force the¢ already-troubled company into¢ bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push¢ the teetering American economy over¢ the brink, which, finally, will¢ complete the total devastation of the¢ global economy, ending civilization¢ as we know it, and forcing us all to¢ live on beetles.¢¢ "The people who know -- the sign-¢ makers -- are really scared of¢ 100GB," one expert said. "I don't¢ know about you, but I'm digging up a¢ copy of THE FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH¢ AMERICAN INSECTS and heading for the¢ hills."¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -¢¢ Y2K SOLUTION¢¢ Corporate has determined that there¢ is no longer any need for network or¢ software applications support. (See¢ below)¢¢ The goal is to remove all computers¢ from the desktop by Jan, 1999.¢ Instead, everyone will be provided¢ with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are¢ many sound reasons for doing this:¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ 1. No Y2K problems¢¢ 2. No technical glitches keeping¢ work from being done.¢¢ 3. No more wasted time reading¢ and writing emails.¢¢ Thank you.¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for¢ Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support:¢¢¢ Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of¢ these funny little lines all¢ over the screen.¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch¢ off?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ Q: What is the shortcut for Undo?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: How do I create a new document¢ window?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: How do I set the background¢ and foreground to the same¢ color?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: What is the proper procedure¢ for rebooting Etch-A-Sketch?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: How do I delete a document on¢ my Etch-A-Sketch?¢¢ A: Pick it up and shake it.¢¢¢ Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch¢ document?¢¢ A: Don't shake it.¢¢¢ o=o=o=o=o=¢¢¢¢
