*******¢ ATARI JOINS THE ARMED FORCES ¢ HOT NEWS from Sunnyvale, California:¢¢ ATARI Corporation announced¢ today their bid had been selected by¢ the U.S. Defense Dept. to provide¢ 10,000 state-of-the-art battle¢ engagement simulator systems for all¢ branches of the armed services. Each¢ $750,000 modular package will be¢ portable and can be used for tactical¢ and strategic real-time simulations¢ for any level of engagement from¢ individual unit to national¢ mobilization. ¢¢ As ATARI stock rose sharply some¢ Wall Street insiders rumoured that¢ ATARI was moving into a factory¢ recently purchased from IBM where¢ they would mass produce military¢ ruggedized versions of their Model¢ 400 laptop mainframe and MIL SPEC ROM¢ software packages code-named STAR¢ RAIDERS, MISSILE COMMAND and EASTERN¢ FRONT.¢ ¢ The Soviet military journal¢ Isvestia sharply attacked the action¢ as destabilizing East-West tensions.¢ National Security Council experts say¢ the ATARI development of 6th¢ generation battle simulation hardware¢ and software places Soviet forces at¢ a distinct readiness disadvantage¢ through at least 1995 or until the¢ Russian government finds a reliable¢ source of quarters.¢¢ IBM, in a rare retaliatory move,¢ announced their new entry into the¢ home market, the IBM Wombat II¢ GeeWhiz. According to sources within¢ the company, the new computer was¢ designed by top-flight NASA engineers¢ on their coffee breaks during¢ launches. The specs on this machine¢ are:¢¢ - 1750 Compatibility¢ - MonkScribe Very Letter Quality¢ printer (4 char/min)¢ - Souped up 9600th Baud Tin Can¢ Modem (Campbell Compatible pending¢ FDA Approval)¢ - Speak and Tell ATARI voice¢ synthesis¢ - 1K Hard Drive with paper¢ tape back-up¢ - Dual Disk Drives and Toaster Unit¢ (butters both sides at once) ¢ - 1000 cardboard squares for drive.¢¢ Bundled software includes:¢ Wom-Word; Wom-Calc; Wom-Write;¢ Wom-Mon (machine language monitor) ¢ ¢ Atari President Sam Tramiel,¢ upon hearing of the new product¢ announcements, was heard saying,¢ "It's too bad neither company can¢ compete and deliver on time like¢ Atari Corp."¢¢ ATARI is suing Apple computers¢ because the "look and feel" of the¢ new color MacIntosh is too much like¢ the ATARI ST. ¢¢¢ ( zzzzzz( SNOREING! )zzzzzz Oh DARN¢ IT, I just awoke, YIKES, it was only¢ a daydream......... Ye Ol' Editor!) ¢¢¢ Zmagazine April 13, 1987 Issue¢ #47 Reprinting permission granted.¢ (c)1987 Syndicate Services ¢¢ +*+* (UNHAPPY) END +*+* ¢¢
