*****¢ CONTINUED FROM CREATION PART ONE¢¢ THE FALL OF MAN¢¢ Late in the sixth day of creation,¢ woman called man at work and begged¢ him to come home for dinner was¢ getting cold. Man grudgingly¢ consented, but brought home with him¢ a copy of the system documentation to¢ study.¢¢ After dinner, woman cooed some¢ suggestive little sighs and slipped¢ invitingly into bed. Man followed,¢ but -- being beat after a hard day at¢ the office -- fell straight to sleep.¢ Woman had an indescribably inner¢ feeling that this was not how things¢ should be on their first night in bed¢ (or in existence, for that matter),¢ and disdainfully flung man's notebook¢ from the nightstand. The book fell¢ open to an important-looking page¢ marked "WARNING" in bold letters.¢¢ Now, woman was possessed of¢ insatiable curiosity. GOD, we must¢ assume, had been entirely familiar¢ with contemporary Greed writings on¢ the subject, particularly with the¢ escapades of a wayward feminist named¢ Pandora. At any rate, woman picked¢ up the book and read: WARNING: "You¢ I have created to maintain¢ application programs and to operate¢ My beloved I.B.M. You may partake of¢ My utilities, My Fortran, My files,¢ tapes and flowcharts. But with My¢ operating system, thou shalt not¢ tamper, for to the use it giveth¢ unlimited MASTER MODE powers . . . ."¢¢ Woman -- being as greedy as she was¢ beautiful -- immediately woke man. ¢ She derided him for his sheepishness,¢ for his lack of initiative, for his¢ cowering before a silly machine. She¢ filled his mind with thoughts of¢ power and greed, and instilled in him¢ the resolve to win for himself all¢ the privileges of the operating¢ system.¢ Besides, reasoned woman, as Boss, man¢ won't come home dead tired and might¢ be worth something after dinner . .¢ .¢¢ So, man returned to work the next¢ day, intent on breaching the¢ operating system. He needled, he¢ patched, he disguised clever little¢ traps in his programs which -- for¢ tantalyzingly brief periods of time -¢ - slipped into Master Mode. By the¢ end of the seventh day, man was so¢ close to mastering the operating¢ system that he didn't go home 'til¢ very late. So pleased was he -- and¢ so sure that the coming day would¢ reward him with total control of¢ GOD's own system -- that he whistled¢ all the way home, and when he got¢ there snuck into the bedroom and gave¢ woman a pleasant surprise ...........¢¢ Early on the eighth day, man did it. ¢ GOD was on the terminal early,¢ playing Blackjack with His computer. ¢ So man was able to submit his¢ carefully-prepared batch job without¢ being noticed. The system burped,¢ GOD's terminal blinked once but then¢ all was normal. Man's heart lept. ¢ It was his operating system now, not¢ GOD's. For a moment he stood stunned¢ with the impact of his move. Then --¢ with a self-assurance that only¢ novice programmers can truly¢ appreciate -- he seated himself at¢ the master console, and pushed the¢ attention key. His hands trembling¢ with excitement, he began to type¢ "DELETE G-O-D."¢¢ BINGO¢¢ Just as He was about to hit the¢ carriage return -- and with the¢ system $500 ahead in GOD's blackjack¢ game (God holding 20 for a thousand-¢ dollar pot) -- the system crashed. ¢ GOD was furious.¢¢ "You ignored My Warning!" said He to¢ man, as woman wailed pathetically¢ that she had had nothing to do with¢ it. "You violated My beloved system,¢ and dared think that you could become¢ as one with GOD."¢¢ He waved man disdainfully from His¢ sight. He then reached into His¢ I.B.M., took a handful of core,¢ mutilated it a little, and flung it¢ after man.¢¢ "Go," said He to the slice of core,¢ "and multiply into a host of inferior¢ systems, each more prostituted and¢ glitch-filled that the last. And¢ perhaps if man's time is wasted¢ debugging inferior systems, I won't¢ be bothered by him."¢¢ And that -- according to the book of¢ Bytes -- is why the world consists of¢ two types of computers: IBM (better¢ known today, as 8 BIT 130XE and¢ upgraded 800XL's) and all the rest.¢¢ And so it is that certain individuals¢ are born to serve GOD's favorite IBM,¢ (better known as ATARI 8 BIT) while¢ others are condemned to suffer the¢ damnation of amateur "other" computer¢ companies.¢¢ But if you're very good, and if¢ you're honest and trustworthy and¢ like to work twenty hours a day¢ without material reward, then you may¢ well hope that one day you will be¢ selected to move up through Xerox to¢ Burroughs to Honeywell to Univac to¢ that great system in the sky whose¢ name inspire men to this very day --¢ ATARI, (better known as ATARI 8 BIT¢ 130XE or upgraded 800XL's). Then, you¢ too can be an EDITOR of a newsletter,¢ or a BBS SYSOP!¢¢ THE MORAL TO THE STORY IS:...........¢¢ DON'T GET STUCK BUYING A PROBLEM¢ CAUSING INFERIOR I.B.M., OR A CLONE,¢ ............. INSTEAD ...............¢ BUY AN ATARI 130XE OR UPGRADED 800XL¢ INSTEAD, AND YOU WILL BE ON YOUR WAY¢ TO HEAVEN!¢ ******¢¢
