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TO THE GLORY OF GOD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Study No. 3
HONOURING PARENTS
Scripture - Ephesians 6:1-3.
5. THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT.
"Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the
land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Gen. 20:
Key Thought - That proper development of our identity and character
comes from honouring our parents.
A. The Importance of Family Relationships.
1. (i) Family relationships are of extreme importance as they
began with God the Father in Heaven. Eph. 3:14-15 "I bow
my knee unto the 'Father' of our Lord Jesus Christ, of
whom the whole 'Family' in heaven and earth is named."
(ii) Note "Family" in Greek is Patria, translated "Fatherhood"
By J.B. Phillips - Every family has its beginning in God.
2. (i) God not only is the Father of every earthly family, but
He has a house "family" in heaven. John 14:2, "In my
Father's 'house' are many mansions".
(ii) Note, "House" in Greek is "Oikia" - household family
(Young).
Check Hebrews 12:23-24, we see this family is the "Church of
the firstborn"..."the spirits of just men made perfect."
There will be - ABEL, who was first there,
ENOCH, who walked there,
NOAH, the great preacher,
ABRAHAM, the faith man,
JOSEPH, the colourful ambassador,
MOSES, the mighty leader,
JOSHUA, the fearless fighter,
RAHAB, the repentant harlot,
and so on till the end of Hebrews 12, through the Apostolic
age, right down to our own time.
3. When God originally made man, there was something that was
obviously incomplete about him. As man observed all the
animals, each having male and female, he was made aware of his
need of a help-meet in fulfilling God's charge to him. Gen.
2:20. God did a miracle for Adam in building Eve to be with
him and help him fulfill God's charge. However, there was
still a further dimension to be experienced by this first
family. They were destined to become the mother and father
of us all, they were to enter the realm of parenthood. Gen.
4:1-2. The family is therefore indispensible for the
protection and development of our lives.
4. God's Word to Israel before the coming of Christ was that
family relationships must be restored else He would "smite the
earth with a curse". Malachi 4:6.
5. The Scripture classifies the fifth commandment as "the first
with a promise". Eph. 6:1-3.
B. The Importance of Parents
1. Parents are the vessels through whom God desires to promote
His eternal purpose in each family. Gen. 1:26-28.
2. Parents are the mediators of God's covenants to family members
and this means that parents are to their children what God is
to them. Eph. 6:1 (Amplified Bible), "Children obey your
parents in the Lord as His representatives, for this is just
and right."
3. This means that covenant benefits of parents extend to the
children. Gen. 6:18, Ex. 20:6, Psalm 103:17. Because parents
are so important to God as His instruments, God protects them
as He protects all leadership. Ex.21:7, Lev.20:9; 19:3,
Eph.6:2.
C. The Responsibilities of Parents
1. God has a great deal He wants to accomplish through the
ministry of parents, however, these will never be
accomplished unless the parents take the responsibility that
God has given them. They are not free to do their own thing,
they must fulfill their God-given responsibilities in the
following areas.
2. Provision. 1 Tim. 5:8, Matt. 18:6. Providing for your family
is more than just providing food, clothing and housing.
Parents are to provide in all areas of life including -
Spiritual, Emotional, Social, Vocational and Moral areas.
3. Protection. Eph. 6:4.
(i) Parents are the ones to guard the children and protect
them from all forces which would destroy the wholeness
that God intended. 1 Thess. 5:23. They are to guard the
children from - Sin, Strife, Idleness, Worldliness,
Dishonesty, Hate, Moral Impurity and anything else that
would cause them to be less than what God intended.
(ii) Parents who take their kids into Sodom, leave without
them. Lot lost all but two of his whole family. Gen.
19:1-30.
4. Training. Prov. 22:6.
(i) Parents spend all of their time training those God has
placed under them. All parents train their children, but
all parents do not train them as God has instructed.
(ii) Parents train by:- Example. Psalm 101:2
Teaching. Deut. 4:9-10
Discipline. Prov. 13:24
(iii) Children learn:- Attitudes.
How to respond to problems.
How to respond to situations.
How to respond to authorities.
5. Guidance. Gen. 18:19.
(i) Parents are not just to sit back and let their children
make their own way through life. They are to aid and
equip their children in the decision-making process of
life by contributing their wisdom and experience.
To keep their children from destruction, Prov. 2:16-19,
Matt. 6:13, so as their children may receive the blessings
God has promised. Isa. 58:11, John 16:13, Psalm 139:24.
(ii) Parents who fail to take their responsibilities can expect
their children to inherit curses instead of blessings. Ex.
20:5, Lev. 20:5, Isa. 14:20, Jer. 9:1, Lam. 5:7. They can
expect to raise a generation that will hate them and bring
them shame. Prov. 30:11-14, Prov. 29:15.
4. What Is A Father?
1. A father who is such a man, who is truly equipped to dwell in
God's presence, is most likely to be the ideal father.
Observe some of the characteristics of the ideal father.
Psalm 15:1-5.
2. a. He is a man of intensity. "He walketh uprightly and
worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his
heart." v.2.
C.H. Spurgen wrote, "We believe in no mans infallibility,
but, it is restful to be assured of a man's integrity."
b. He has a perfect control of his tongue, "He backbiteth not
with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor
taketh reproach against his neighbour". v.3.
He does not speak words that hurt, nor listens to tales
about others.
c. He is loyal to his spoken word, "He speaketh to his own
hurt and changeth not." v.4.
His word is his bond - what he says, he means. Promises
are never broken.
d. He is wise in money matters, "He putteth not his money to
usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent." v.5.
He uses money wisely, discreetly, beneficially - not
mean.
Such a man is strength, protection, a well of wisdom, he
teaches and motivates his children toward goodness, order
and total fulfillment. Prov. 4:1-27.
3. He imparts:- 1. A sense of solidarity.
A child feels only as strong as his father
seems to be.
2. A sense of purpose, an aiming point. Prov.
17:6. A child wants to be like his father.
This is identity.
3. A knowledge of good and evil. A child
associates with the morality that he lives
with. Heb. 5:14.
4. Discipline and self-control. A child is
formed by a will that is wiser than his own.
5. A strength of character. A child learns both
faith and fear.
5. What Is A Mother? Proverbs 31:10-31.
1. a. She is trustworthy, "The heart of her husband doth safely
trust her." v.11.
Observe the heart is the seat of affections, so the
motivating force of trust is love. What is charm, goods
and possessions without love. She will never let him
down, "She will do good and not evil all the days of her
life." v.12.
b. She is industrious, "She worketh wool and flax and worketh
willingly with her hands." v.13.
"She looketh well to the ways of her household and eating
not the bread of idleness." v.27. She manages her home
well - attending to her responsibilities with diligence
and loving concern.
c. She is benevolent, "She stretches out her hand to the
poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy."
v.20. She does all the good she can to all the people she
can, in all the ways she can, as long as she can.
d. She is kindhearted, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom,
and in her tongue is the law of kindness." v.26.
Like the law of gravitation, kindness is something that
operates unceasingly, wisdom and kindness characterise her
every utterance.
The rewards which will come to her are recounted in verses
28-31.
2. A mother is that which completes that which is lacking in the
fatherhood of man, she is the missing side of man's nature,
she is the "heart", comfort, diligent, concealed, submitted
and protected by her husband.
3. She imparts:- 1. Life and vitality. Her motivation is that
she is loved.
2. A sense of emotional warmth. A child feels
wanted, cared for and secure.
3. An atmosphere of selflessness and diligence.
A child learns that there is a price to pay
for life's rich experience.
4. Wholesomeness. A child develops a sense of
virtue and values.
6. Every Child Needs A Progressing Experience In God
It is important for the Christian to realise that it takes time
for changes to take place within the character and personality.
God may even find it necessary to duplicate many of the
influences he has escaped during childhood, he needs to
experience the combination of love with discipline.
7. The Key To Family Life
a. The key that God uses to bring a Christian into complete
expressions of his real personality is loving submission.
Many times a Christian is tempted to deny God for self, he
needs, therefore, to frequently turn from his own will and do
the will of the father. Matt. 7:21, John 4:34.
Each new decision strengthens and matures him and makes him a
fit vessel to be used by the Holy Spirit. Acts 5:32, John
14:21.
b. There are three qualities which best express the correct
attitude of family life:-
* Acceptance
* Submission
* Involvement
1. ACCEPTANCE
There can be no family life without our mutual acceptance
of one another. 1 John 1:5. The pattern of our love-
acceptance of one another is seen in the cross. Here God
expressed love to man when man was still in a condition of
sin and enmity. John 3:16, 1 John 4:16, 1 Tim. 1:15-16.
Acceptance in the world.
In the world people accept one another provisionally. The
continuance of their relationship is dependent upon "Good
behaviour". People therefore fearing rejection and
disapproval become defensive and deceitful in their
relationship. They give love when it is needed least and
withdraw it when it is needed most. Check James 1:27, 2
Cor. 5:13-21.
2. SUBMISSION
There is no real family life without submission, but
submission should be out of a ready willingness and not
force. It is the obligation of each and every family
member to submit themselves to other members, particularly
to their parents. 1 Peter 5:5, Eph. 5:21-29.
Submission in the world.
In the world people constantly compare themselves with one
another out of ambition or fear and only submit to the
"worthy" or "strong"". This creates strife and
competition. Gain is at the expense of love and
relationship. Check Luke 2:51, Matt. 17:27, 1 Peter 2:13-
18.
3. INVOLVEMENT
Acceptance allows involvement. Submission regulates it.
It is our involvement that brings expansion or heart which
enables development of full personality. 2 Cor. 6:4-13 and
7:2-3.
Involvement in the world.
People fear involvement with others. They may consider it
unwise. They feel too many experiences are unsafe.
Consequently there is always reserve, defensiveness and
lack of trust. The inevitable result of their isolation
is an involvement with sin and sensation. Prov. 6:32.
In the church we find involvement with others brings
enlargement, liberation and a greater capacity to love and
infilling of the Holy Spirit. Prov. 1:23, Psalm 119:32.
Acceptance, submission and involvement all operate from the
level of the human will. Failure to make correct choices
simply indicates our need for repentance from wrong
attitudes. (like breeds like). God's discipline is
continually upon this area of our soul. When we fail, He
uses the rod. Prov. 10:13; 20:30; 22:15; 23:13-14. the rod
bruises our strength of self-will, restores our desire to be
loved and comforted. Prov. 15:32.
Note - The rod of reproof should never be given by a person
except that that person accept the responsibility to
build that which has been destroyed.
END of STUDY THREE
