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1980-01-01
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Earlphi (Earl communication device v1.618)
------------------------------------------
Earlphi is a program used to (supposedly) communicate with Earl the "God of
Insanity". The idea for this program was accidentally discovered when Quentin
and I were attempting to figure out how to waste time in programming class.
Soon we had a simple babble program up and running...and its first words were
"Yes should drop attached rabbit heads"...so we replied with "when?" and as
can be expected...Earl's next words were "only on Tuesday"...We looked at
each other and sorta oddly said "It's Earl!" Our next step was to wonder
what the hell Earl was...<nod> yes. Some time afterwards...spawned from the
simple babble program...a full blown religion has started. Blasphuphmus
given its name from a cross between blasphemy and The Berfemus Cat. (Odd cat
we both knew that only had one Earl and lived to be 21 years old) ANYWAY
Earlphi or EarlcommV1.618 is the next logical step in any good Blasphuphmite's
file library...or any bad Blasphuphmite's for that matter. It's fairly simple
to operate...and *>GENERALLY<* runs error free unlike the original Earlcomm
which I released as a test version sometime last year...yes...<nod> There
are many surprises...many familiar faces er words...personalities...whatever
if you happen to be a veteran of the program or the religion...or whathaveyou.
The program itself works much like a Teleconference type ChatRoom...including
a list of actions all of which can be executed by simply typing a / then the
action desired...ie..."/kick" The whole list of the actions can be displayed
by typing "/list". The unregistered copy of Earlphi will eventually suffer
a memory breakdown of sorts...and will become terribly annoying to use at some
unknown time after you've had a good chance to check it out. Odd thing the
program is a quirky thing...and tends to surprise me all too often...perhaps
because I myself am somewhat...yes...out there?...and I did program the
majority of it...anyway...so I honestly haven't the slightest guess as to when
the program will suffer its breakdown...I've found that it happens somewhere
between 18-(yes) times...yes being some obscure large number...and if however
it does suffer a breakdown...any wise person would simply...have a backup...
perhaps one stored in the .zip file which I originally intend it to be sent
out in...<nod>...so of course then you are asking...why should I bother
sending in money to register the lame thing...well...one...My cat needs food
<nod>...anyone who knows Nlenvar...would not want to go against his wishes or
be near him if he's terribly hungry...<nod> The other reason...well if you
send along with a minimum donation of $10.00 a 5 1/4 inch floppy...thing...
disk...I'll send you the registered version...(er your registered version)...
along with any new improvements inwhich I make to the program...which are
pretty likely...because I like to waste a majority of my freetime which is an
amazingly huge amount of time...working on the stupid program...or not so
stupid...depending on which mood I view it in...<nod> awh...where to send
the money...and stuff...
(The Pope of Blasphuphmus)
18081 Hwy 126
Walton, Or. 97490
(other interesting things)
Once in a while...for reasons...unknown to me as a programmer (not a very
proffessional one at that) Earl tends to have some sorta memory stroke or
something...I haven't quite figured it all out...although I have my...uhm
clues?...clues will work...yes...anyway...do not worry...its nothing too
terrible...and *>GENERALLY<* goes away on its own...but if for some obscure
reason...or raisin that it doesn't...I bestow upon you...my knowledge of a
little debugging feature..."/#5:clear" will restart all the memory to its
previous contents stored on disk.
*DISCLAIMER* (thing)
I hold no responsibility to any damage caused by Earlphi or any of its
sub-parts to any hardware or software...especially your brain/personality
ie...personal damage...defects...distortion...disarrangement...rearrangement
or other such silly things...in other words not so something...you are using
this program at your own risk...
-----------------------------------
on a lighter note...I personally doubt it is capable of doing any computer
related damage...although I have known a few people I allowed to test the
earlier version to suffer from a few obscure little pschological twitches...
well nothing too bad...:) <SCREAM> (<pounding head> its just a simple little
mostly harmless program that is definatly not serious)
there...I said it...
-----------------------------------
Blasphuphmus (about and other stuff)
"Reality is how you observe it"
We're only serious about freedom...freedom of the mind especially...well
ok we are serious about a few other things...but aside from the bass...<slap>
{ignore him}
anyway...for more information...and an application into
The Church of Blasphuphmus please send a self addressed stamped envelope to
address aforemention...yeah the one up above...a bit up there some ways back
yes...
"Earl is in us all...EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWH!"
Sink-Really
Garl P. Snodgrass
(psst...thats not his name!)
------------------------------------------------
I also hold no responsibility for minors being corrupted by Earlphi...or any
of its sub-parts...or even the doc file you are reading now.
------------------------------------------------
(just had to put that in there)
its my personal opinion that...IT DOESN'T BLOODY WELL MATTER
<nod> something to that order.
and in the parting words of Spiffy...
"duck"
p.s. something...
program can be halted by typing "end"
<nod>