A champion pre plans every presentation.
A commitment is necessary to be more successful.
A decision not to make a decision is still a decision.
A good response to a compliment is "You're very kind!"
A man will forget the very best things he knows if he lets himself.
All customers think alike, price first product second.
Attitude...the foundation, the mark of you...keep yours positive
Be conscious of your body language.
Believe...in your unique, capable self...you're a winner.
Business is either 'good' or 'bad' right between your ears.
Character, like the foundation of a house, is below the surface.
Commitment is when you eliminate all the other options.
Control money, don't let money control you.
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
Courage...to try, and keep trying until you reach your goals.
Direct Mail...a key marketing tool.
Discipline...it pays off in results, you must have it to achieve.
Do at least 10 mailings every day.
Do it now.
Do just a little more than you are getting paid for.
Do not argue. Even if you win you lose.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Don't let experience prevent you from trying again.
Don't see what you can sell, sell what you can see.
Enthusiasm...make it part of you and share it with others.
Evidence...one thing the human mind cannot reject.
Extra-mile...you can't achieve without it.
Fear is the major cause of failure.
Fun...it has to be there for meaningful results...make achieving fun
Goals...your success targets...aim high and then higher.
Good luck is the residue of hard work.
Hope...the magic ingredient that sparks you into positive action.
I've been rich and I've been poor, rich is better.
If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me.
If at first you do succeed, try something harder.
If you don't believe in what you are doing why should anyone else.
If you think you can or you think you can't you're right.
If you want to be interesting, be interested in other people.
Initiative...it pays off in results...It's determination in action.
It's not what is costs, but what it may save that counts the most.
Knowledge...work hard to acquire it, but, most of all, use it.
Look at all your clients as long term accounts not just sales.
Love...in all that you do...love must set the pace.
Luck...preparation meeting opportunity.
Motivation...that which forces you into action.
Negatives...avoid them, keep them out of your environment.
Never answer an unasked question.
Optimism...known you can...because you can do it.
Our biggest mistake is to believe we are working for someone else.
People buy or don't buy based on feelings.
People change and forget to tell each other.
Persistence and determination, result in increased sales.
Planning doesn't take time it saves time.
Practice...to succeed, you must practice..practice..practice
Professional sales people are paid for production not effort.
Progress is made through continued training.
Quality & Quantity...the twins of achievement.
Resistance is removed with persistence.
Responsibility...doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
Self-esteem...a positive self-image is priceless, work on yours.
Sell the light, don't sell the lantern.
Selling is asking the proper question and then listening.
Selling is the highest paid hard work and the lowest paid easy work.
Selling words...Use "BE OF SERVICE" rather than 'Help'.
Selling words...Use "LET'S" rather than 'Why don't we'.
Selling words...Use "SITUATION" rather than 'problem'.
Show the features, sell the benefits.
Successful people are always willing to give and to share.
Successful people do the things that failures won't do.
The challenge begins when the answer is NO.
Take one step forward and you will stand out from the crowd.
The bottom line in professional selling is "going to the bank."
The day you stop training is the day you start predicting the end.
The gold mine could be just one more foot down, keep digging.
The mind is like a parachute, it works better when it is open.
The only difference between success and failure is luck, ask any failure.
The professional never does anything by accident.
The shortest pencil is better than the longest memory.
The thin line between pressure and persuasion is technique.
Time invested in prospecting, will pay big dividends.
Toughness...mental and physical...a powerful combination.
Treat each day like it was the last one you might ever have.
Understanding...know you strengths and weaknesses.
Unseen and Untold is Unsold
Use blind faith, it works.
Use language they understand.
We all have the power of choice.
When would you like to start earning more??
Whom ever asks you to go with him one mile, go with him two.
Winning...your reward for hard work and a positive mental attitude.
Words are the fingers that mold men's minds.
Work on one of your bad habits every week.
You are No. 1
You are an asset or a liability, you can only be one or the other.
You can pay the price for Success,or you can suffer the pain of poverty.
You cannot listen if you are talking.
You have to learn to fail to win.
You have two ears and one mouth, use them in those ratios.
You must do the most productive thing possible every given moment.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
You never have to like cold calls, you just have to make them.
You...the most important ingredient in achieving your success.
Your first 10 words are more important than your next 10,000
Zest...you're go power...turn it on and let it flow.
Where your attention goes, your energy flows.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that of an oncoming train
Keep your temper - nobody else wants it.
The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
Place your clothes & weapons where you can find them in the dark.
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac, but flowers work almost as well.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
Always listen to experts tell you why it can't be done, then do it.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
Don't try to have the last word - you might get it.
Certainly the game is rigged, but don't let that stop you from playing.
A brute kills for pleasure - a fool kills from hate.
Never appeal to a man's 'better nature' - he may not have one.
Never tell a man anything he does not need to know.
You can have peace or you can have freedom, but don't count on having both
You live and learn, or else you do not live long.
In a family argument, if you discover you are right, apologize at once.
When the fox gnaws, smile!
Does history record any case in which the majority was right?
Money is truthful - if a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
Never frighten a little man - he'll kill you.
Only a sadistic man or a fool tells the truth on social occasions.
The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
Beware of alcohol - it can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss!
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Originality is the art of concealing your source.
It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today.
God gives the milk but not the pail.
Life has a value only when it has something valuable as its object.
All one needs is ignorance and confidence, and then success is assured.
Those who are at war with others cannot be at peace with themselves.
Better to have character than be one.
Life's hard by the yard, but by the inch life's a cinch.
If all the year were playing holidays, sport would be as tedious as work.
The eternal stars shine out as soon as it is dark enough.
A pupil from whom nothing difficult is demanded will never do all he can.
Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.
It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility which gives happiness.
Where reason rules the mind, peace rules the day.
The narrower the mind, the broader the statement.
All men are created equal, but some men are more equal than others.
Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance.
Life is a temporary assignment.
We have two ears & one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.
The flush toilet is the basis of Western Civilization.
A hidden flaw never remains hidden.
Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we don't see.
Youth is wholly experimental.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theatre.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not.
Man was given a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
We fall in love with a personality but we must live with a character.
The groundwork to all happiness is health.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Confuse the world -- smile all day Monday!
By appreciation, we make excellence in others our property.
We often treat our world as though we had a spare in the trunk.
Where love is thin, faults are thick.
If you are on the wrong road, why run?
Others look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
The future is purchased by the present.
It takes less time to do a job right than to explain why you did it wrong
He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
Advertisement: the most truthful part of a newspaper.
Labor: one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
Don't believe anything you hear or anything you say.
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a three-year old.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Only God can make random selections.
Seminars: derived from 'semi' and 'arse'; hence, any half-assed discussion
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
I am a great believer in luck - the harder I work, the more I have of it.
It's not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
No wind blows in favor of the ship that has no port of destination.
The earth has music for those who listen.
To gain a good reputation, endeavor to be what you desire to appear.
A reasonable man accomplishes nothing.
Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence on society.
The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
Let us have faith that right makes might.
Age is a matter of mind - if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
To err is human, to blame it on others is politics.
If you come home with hair on your coat you better have the horse to match
He who confesses to small faults hopes you'll think he has no big ones.
Blessed are they who have little to say -- and don't.
Each day we are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
Would you give your right arm to be ambidexterous?
Drive defensively -- buy a tank.
UFO's are real; the Air Force doesn't exist.
The world is coming to an end!  Repent and return those library books!
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
Mickey Mouse wears a Ronald Reagan watch.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon.
Don't knock President Fillmore - he kept us out of Vietnam.
Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail your friends.
If all else fails, immortality can be assured by spectacular error.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.
When an oyster is irritated, it makes a pearl.
Everything alive either grows or dies.
Many times in order to receive something, you have to ask for it.
A successful baseball player gets a hit only once out of every three tries
Wasting time is an important part of life.
So much to learn, so little time.
It's not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
In order to reach the sea, a river often detours around many obstacles.
A mountain is climbed a step at a time.
People seldom plan to fail, but they often fail to plan.
Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
In the presence of great men, even fools hide their faults.
Sometimes I wish I could get a mirror with a better view.
The secret of selling yourself is to have a product you truly believe in.
I know my efforts deserve my goals, but are my goals worth my efforts?
Having a good memory is useless unless you have something good to remember
Life is what goes by while you are watching television.
It may be that perpetual peace can only be brought about by perpetual war.
Is there any truth to the rumor that everything is really okay?
We live in a world where nothing is impossible, except peace and happiness
You can never discard too many bad ideas.
Sometimes the best defense is a skillful surrender.
You have your problems, and I have yours.
Why is it that time softens some people and hardens others?
The strangest of all birth defects is an inability to see things my way.
There's so much to learn and so much of it not worth learning.
By the time you realize what love can do, the damage has already been done
My disappointments come in all sizes, to fit my hopes.
I believe there is a higher power: it's called the government.
The most exciting place to discover talent is within yourself.
Keep laughing at death, and eventually at least you may die laughing.
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
He who laughs, lasts.
Never let your studies interfere with your education.
No amount of poor schooling can spoil a good student.
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
The old know more about being young than the young know about being old.
Don't ever stand up to be counted or someone will take your seat.
If you don't have a memory like an elephant, leave tracks like one.
What we learn after we know it all is what counts.
Teaching is the fine art of imparting knowledge without possessing it.
A 'government subsidy' is getting just some of your own money back.
Those who like sausage or political policy should not watch it being made.
Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember.
If written correctly, legalese is perfectly incomprehensible.
If you expected it to be easy, you should have become a politician.
Honesty is almost always the best policy.
In politics you can often be wrong but never in doubt.
Smile - it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Bureaucrats are the meat loaf of humanity.
To find a policeman in a hurry, double-park.
If God thought that nudity was okay, we would have been born naked.
No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.
Never step in anything soft.
The most valuable gift you can give your family is a good example.
Nobody ever puts out a sign that says NICE DOG.
A small carafe of wine is illogical, immoral, and inadequate.
A poor excuse is better than no excuse at all.
Success has ruined many a good man.
If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles.
If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.
Anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one.
If every fool wore a crown, we would all be kings.
Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long.
When you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
An unbreakable toy is excellent for breaking other toys.
If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes sooner.
The dentist never talks to his patients until the drill is in their mouths
It's not a matter of life and death - it's much more important than that.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you've probably overlooked something
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Do not believe in miracles - rely upon them.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss do an honest day's work.
Bosses are so busy delegating jobs, they have no time to work.
To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
The number of a person's relatives is directly proportional to his fame.
If facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
An object of information most needed will be least available.
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
The road to the patent office is paved with good inventions.
A man's brain is his Achilles' heel.
Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Genius is 10 percent inspiration and 50 percent capital gains.
A road map always tells you everything except how to refold it.
A bird in the hand is worth about three Kleenex.
If it feels good, don't do it.
Work is the curse of the drinking man.
Some people fish in the Sea of Life without bait.
Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
There are no winners in life; only survivors.
Less is more.
Life is one long process of getting tired.
The number of women man finds attractive is truly proportionate to his age
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Success is like a fart - you can only stand your own.
A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.
Before you meet any handsome price, you have to kiss a lot of toads.
Halitosis is better than no breath at all.
A friend advises in his interest, not yours.
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti - it requires so much attention.
Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.
The ladder of success is easier to climb when laid flat.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
A professional does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.
Losing makes winning worthwhile.
The more things you own, the more you are owned by things.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
You only have a problem if you think it is a problem.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Cooperation is doing with a smile that which you have to do anyway.
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head.
No executive ever devotes any effort to proving himself wrong.
A kind heart is of little value in chess.
Common sense is the least common of all senses.
The most intelligent people we know are those who ask advice.
Be kind.  Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them.
Trust everybody, but always cut the cards.
When in doubt, mumble.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
As scarce as the truth is, the supply is much greater than the demand.
There is always free cheese in a mousetrap.
Never, ever, play leapfrog with a unicorn.
He who never sticks out neck, never wins by nose.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
Never let your sense of morals interfere with doing the right thing.
A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.
Two's company and three's the result.
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
You cannot tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it.
Love is like a pair of socks - you must have two and they have to match.
The trouble with resisting temptation is that it may never come again.
No matter which way you spit, it's up wind.
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Climate is what you expect.  Weather is what you get.
There are no absolute answers to life - just revelations.
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.
A path without obstacles probably leads nowhere.
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
Faith is the bird that sings while it is still dark.
Little things come in small packages.
It is not necessary to fall into a well to know its depth.
The longest list has a final item.
Money is like manure - it is meant to be spread around.
Don't wear earmuffs in a land of rattlesnakes.
The worm in the sour apple doesn't know any better.
The man who invented the eraser had the human race pretty well sized up.
Man is the only animal that blushes... or needs to.
If a sight is worth seeing, someone will build a highway to it.
A committee's real objective is not to reach a decision but to avoid it.
The first loss is the easiest.
A consultant may be defined as an unemployed practitioner.
Put all your eggs in one basket, and WATCH THAT BASKET!
Crystal balls aren't really very productive.
You can't win them all, but you can sure lose them all.
The longer the letter, the less chance of its being read.
Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
Discover all unpredictable errors before they occur.
It's better to retire too soon than too late.
If you're not rejected at least 3 times a week you're not really trying.
Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
One man plus courage is a majority.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
A desk is a wastebasket with drawers.
Government expands to absorb revenue, and then some.
The more heavily a man should be taxed, the more power he has to avoid it.
Massive expenditures obscure the evidence of bad judgments.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
In God we trust; all others pay cash.
You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.
Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.
Blessed are the inept for they shall inherit the skies.
By the time you get to where you can make ends meet someone moves the ends
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class?
One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Genius starts at the top and works up.
We're all going down the same road in different directions.
We should go metric every inch of the way.
Whenever you learn all the answers, they change all the questions.
The first Christian gets the hungriest lions.
The pot at the end of the rainbow is not Acapulco Gold.
Television is to media what hydrogen bombs are to explosives.
The universe is simple - it's the explanation that's complex.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
The dimmer the light, the greater the scandal.
Help fight truth decay.
If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
A nut that is easy to crack is often empty.
Success is a matter of luck; just ask any failure.
The world gets better every day, then worse again in the evening.
If credit can possibly go to someone else, it will.
The early bird suffers from insomnia.
Nothing is opened more often by mistake than the mouth.
The only alternative to perseverance is failure.
It is always much harder to find a job than to keep one.
Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.
When policy fails, try thinking.
The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
You don't have to be a cannibal to get fed up with people.
When it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.
When all is said and done, more has been said than done.
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
If the customer wants vanilla, give him vanilla.
Secret negotiations are usually neither.
Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
The world is full of surprises, very few of which are pleasant.
A picture is worth a thousand words; a slide show is both.
Nothing vouchered, nothing gained.
If you come up with a lemon, make lemonade.
One is tolerant only of that which does not concern him.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Be sure the brain is engaged before putting the mouth in gear.
Those who think they know it all upset those of us who do.
Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.
Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The other line always moves faster.
The masses are the opium of religion.
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
Gentlemen's agreements can get very ungentlemanly.
Verbal agreements frequently lead to verbal disagreements.
Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.
If your parents didn't have children, odds are that you won't either.
Don't look back.  Something might be gaining on you.
If you have to tell people you're famous, you aren't.
A thing not looked for is seldom found.
Buy in haste, repair at leisure.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
The worst thing about ignorance is its insistency.
Do unto others as they should do unto you but won't.
If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.
Fish and guests smell in three days.
A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
Whoever lies with dogs rises with fleas.
Everyone serves a purpose in life, even if it is to be a horrible example.
The advantage to being a pessimist is that all your surprises are pleasant
Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
Curiosity kills more mice than cats.
One seventh of our lives is spent on Mondays.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.
Suicide is confession and confession is suicide.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Even paranoids have enemies.
If ambition doesn't hurt, you do not have it.
Whatever their faults, the Communists never created canned laughter.
Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
A fool and his money share the same mattress.
The less influence you have, the longer you wait.
Pain is forgotten; insult lingers on.
Pray as if it were up to God, but work as if it were up to you.
Intuition is reason in a hurry.
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.
'In closing' is always followed by the other half of the speech.
Familiarity breeds consent.
The best thing to hold onto in this world is each other.
Build a system that even a fool can use & only a fool will want to use it!
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
You can't tell a book by its movie.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
He who is most concerned is always the last to hear.
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
Some people will believe anything if it is whispered to them.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which one you need more.
The person who snores loudest will fall asleep first.
It is better to be hated than to be ignored.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she stops listening to him.
The shortest distance between two points is generally under repair.
If you want something badly, that is how you get it.
Remarriage after divorce is the triumph of hope over experience.
The less you say, the less you have to take back.
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.
Flattery is the sincerest form of lying.
There never was a good knife made of bad steel.
A false friend and a shadow stay around only while the sun shines.
That which we resist the most is what we become.
A company is known by the company it employs.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
The best defense is a good offense.
A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.
To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
Absence makes the heart go wander.
The bird: a nest, the spider: a web, man: friendship.
It's not only who you know but what you know about who you know.
The future is when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.
In every real man a child is hidden who wants to play.
In every large problem is a small problem waiting to get out.
On the edge of a precipice, only a fool does cartwheels.
We do not count a man's years until he has nothing else to count.
He who has accomplished all that he thinks worthwhile has begun to die.
People forget how fast you did a job, but remember how well you did it.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Whoever tries for great objects must suffer something.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
We put up with being surpassed more easily than with being equaled.
Adolescence is when children start bringing up their parents.
Each day the world turns over on someone who was just sitting on top of it
Although up to its neck in hot water, the tea kettle continues to sing.
It takes a mature person to be really young.
He lives long that lives until all are weary of him.
It's not how old you are but how you are old.
You've reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
Efficiency is the ability to do a job well plus the desire to do it better
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to get ashes.
The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
Swallowing angry words is much easier than having to eat them.
He is a fool who cannot be angry, but he is a wise man who will not.
Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
Poise is the act of raising the eyebrows instead of the roof.
Always hold your head up but keep your nose at a friendly level.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Blessed are the brief for they will be invited again.
Budget: an orderly system of living beyond your means.
Wait until it is night before saying it has been a fine day.
When you're through changing, you're through.
All progress stems from change but all change is not necessarily progress.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Men show their character best by the things they laugh at.
Character is not made in a crisis - it is only exhibited.
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.
They who give have all things; they who withhold have nothing.
Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it.
Cleverness is serviceable for everything but sufficient for nothing.
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.
You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.
Conceit is God's gift to little men.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
One hand cannot applaud.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Most men have died without creating; not one has died without destroying.
Whoever profits by the crime is guilty of it.
He who spares the guilty threatens the innocent.
Cynicism is but idealism gone sour in the face of frustration.
Better to face a danger once than be always in fear.
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.
Beaten paths are for beaten men.
When everybody is somebody, then nobody is anybody.
Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts.
People seldom want to walk over you until you lie down.
Education means developing the mind, not stuffing the memory.
The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil.
Instruction ends in the classroom, but education ends only with life.
If you want to kill time, why not try working it to death?
One of the hardest secrets for a man to keep is his opinion of himself.
The only time some people work like a horse is when their boss rides them.
The longer a man is wrong, the surer he is that he's right.
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Many a man never fails because he never tries.
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self.
It's smart to pick your friends, but not to pieces.
Money lent to a friend must be recovered from an enemy.
Gambling: a way of getting nothing for something.
Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
What we are is God's gift to us - what we become is our gift to God.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.
More people are run down by gossip than by automobiles.
You can't believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.
A hypocrite is one who sets good examples when he has an audience.
To rest is to rust.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
Most people don't care what happens so long as it doesn't happen to them.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.
Knowledge is power - if you know it about the right person.
The human race has only one effective weapon, and that is laughter.
The chief cause of divorce is matrimony.
Keep your eyes open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The smallest handcuff in the world is a wedding ring.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
If you get up one time more than you fall you will make it through.
It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.
Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts.
Pygmies placed on giants' shoulders see more than the giants themselves.
It's only 18 inches between a pat on the back and a kick in the pants.
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
Speaking without thinking is like shooting without taking aim.
No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.
What many orators lack in depth they give you in length.
To make a speech immortal you don't have to make it everlasting.
No mud can soil us but the mud we throw.
Sometimes silence is the best way to yell at the top of your voice.
Too many people confuse free speech with loose talk.
Statistics can be used to support anything, especially statisticians.
One of the great labor-saving devices of today is tomorrow.
The truth is always the strongest argument.
Death is God's way of telling you that you're fired.
Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Kleptomaniac: a rich thief.
Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.
Positive: mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  'Yes' is the answer.
Keep American beautiful - swallow your beer cans.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
Every solution breeds new problems.
If it jams, force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Push something hard enough and eventually it will fall over.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
I like work... I can sit and watch it for hours.
Hey!  Who took the cork off my lunch?
If there is no God, who always pops the next Kleenex?
Dawn: the time when men of reason go to bed.
Egotist: a person of low taste. more interested in himself than me.
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, simulate.
Never call a man fool when you can borrow money from him instead.
If God lived on Earth, people would knock out his windows.
Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
Remember: even if you win the rat race, you will still be a rat.
Old soldiers never die.  Young soldiers do.
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
Give your child mental blocks this Christmas.
George Orwell was an optimist.
Murphy was an optimist.
Losing your drivers' license is simply God's way of saying 'BOOGA, BOOGA!'
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
Familiarity breeds attempt.
The Earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much much heavier.
Adolescense: the stage between puberty and adultery.
The cow is a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
God is a comic playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Time flies like an arrow -- fruit flies like a banana.
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
The world's as ugly as sin, and nearly as delightful.
No man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas.
Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
People usually get what's coming to them, unless it's been mailed.
Elevators smell different to midgets.
Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
Everyone needs a place in the sun, especially when it rains.
A boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
A babe is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs decrease.
A bad beginning makes for a good ending.
A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
A blind man is no judge of colors.
A blush on the face is better than a blot on the heart.
A brain is worth little without a tongue.
A chain is no stronger than its weakest link.
A clear conscience makes a good pillow.
A contented man is always rich.
A courageous foe is better than a cowardly friend.
What this country needs is a good five-cent ANYTHING!
When a man is down everyone runs over him.
When angry, count to ten; when very angry, count to a hundred.
When need is greatest help is nearest.
When poverty knocks at the door, love flies out the window.
When the well is dry we know the worth of water.
Who knows most says least.
Who loves well is slow to forget.
Wickedness is its own greatest punishment.
Win at first and lose at last.
Women, wind and fortune soon change.
Wisdom is the sunlight of the soul.
Wishes won't wash dishes.
Wit and wisdom are rarely seen together.
Would you let a bug escape because it did not bite you?
You may shut your doors against a thief but not against a liar.
Young flesh and old fish are best.
Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.
The young are slaves to novelty, the old to custom.
Time and words can never be recalled.
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it.
Tomorrow never comes.
Vanity is the food of fools.
Vows made in storms are forgotten in calms.
'Wait' is a hard word to the hungry.
War is death's feast.
Weak things united become strong.
The best fish swim near the bottom.
The best mirror is an old friend.
The bird that can sing and won't sing must be made to sing.
The blood of the soldier makes the glory of the general.
The cure may be worse than the disease.
The fairest rose at last will be withered.
The fool wanders; the wise man travels.
The fool who is silent can pass for wise.
The greatest hate springs from the greatest love.
The higher the ape climbs the more he shows his bald haunches.
The mob has many heads but no brains.
The more laws, the more offenders.
Some have bread who have no teeth left.
Suspicion poisons a friendship.
Tell a lie and find the truth.
The beard does not make the philosopher.
Plain dealing is more often praised than practiced.
Poverty and love are hard to hide.
Praise a wife but remain a bachelor.
Pride and grace never dwell in one place.
Pride in prosperity becomes misery in adversity.
One enemy can harm you more than one hundred friends can do you good.
One lie makes many.
One murder makes a villain, millions make a hero.
One of these days is none of these days.
Opportunities do not wait.
Our own grief produces pity for another.
Our pleasures are imagined, but our griefs are all real.
Patience abused becomes fury.
Never ask for a pardon before you have been accused.
No answer is also an answer.
No honest man ever repented of his honesty.
No man is a fool always, but all men are fools sometimes.
There is never sunshine without shadow.
Observe the face of the wife to know the husband's character.
On finding a stone we see no dog; on seeing a dog we find no stone.
One already wet does not fear the rain.
Lawmakers should not be lawbreakers.
Let not your tongue cut your throat.
Little things attract little minds.
Love does much but money does more.
Love sees no faults.
Many would be cowards if they had enough courage.
Men are neither suddenly rich nor suddenly good.
Money makes not so many true friends as real enemies.
If you run after two hares, you will catch neither.
In fair weather prepare for foul.
It is as natural to die as to be born.
It is never too late to learn.
Jealousy is the greatest evil.
Kisses are love's messengers.
He that knows little soon repeats it.
Health is not valued until sickness comes.
Hearts may agree, though heads differ.
Hope is sweeter than possession.
Hungry men think the cook lazy.
Follow the wise few rather than the vulgar many.
God cures and the doctor takes the fee.
Good words cost no more than bad.
Great hopes make great men.
Courtesy on one side can never last long.
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Every man thinks his own burden the heaviest.
Fame is a magnifying glass.
Faults are thick where love is thin.
Arrogance is the obstruction of wisdom.
Be as you would seem to be.
Beauty without virtue is a curse.
Better the foot slip than the tongue.
A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
Insomuch as love grows in you, so in you beauty grows.
I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship.
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
When planning for posterity, remember that virtue is not hereditary.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
A man may be young in years, yet old in hours.
A small leak will sink a great ship.
A wise man changes his mind, a fool never.
A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools.
A joke never gains an enemy, but often loses a friend.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking someone else to do.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
All the easy problems have been solved.
Why be a man when you can be a success?
If you think yesterday was a drag, just wait until you see tomorrow!
Life is a yo-yo and mankind keeps tying knots in the string.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Love is nothing more than sentimental measles.
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it or they don't.
Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
Gravity is a myth -- the Earth sucks.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
You always find something in the last place you look.
To have a friend you must first be one.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on