Not only is he the Devil, but he owns your soul and the soul of anyone else who has used a computer recently. Microsoft is an extension of the Evil One's desire to rule the world, all in the name of personal gain and profit. Sure, the Devil may pretend to provide software, but that's just a ploy. Everything Micro$oft makes is just an insidious attempt to daominate you. I don't have much biographical information about Mr. Gates, and I may not know any interesting tidbits about him. That doesn't matter. Bill Gates has become the type of "businessman" whose concerns for profit have exceeded all rational limit. Bill Gates, being the Crown Prince of Capitalism, is the Evil One.

Why you and everyone you know should hate Bill Gates if you don't already.

Besides his stupid smirk, the Gates envisions himself as the leader of the technological world. Well, who elected him? Is it right that one person should control the fate of everyone having to do with computer technology? And what if he's wrong? Why is it so important to him to have enough money to buy all of Romania if he so chooses?

I'm sure the people who pay $95.00 American for techincal support (per incident!)have plenty of nice things to say about Billy.

If Bill Gates sees himself as netgod, why is his primary concern making money instead of making good products? Shouldn't he be benevolent to us, his little paeans? Why are we forced to pay him tribute? Well, I refuse to prostrate myself before him. The 'n et is not a piece of clay for him to mould, nor is it a spade so he can bludgeon its users. The internet is a tool for the exchange of information, and not, as many people believe, merely another instrument to make money. Satan can take his little vision of the future and stick it where the sun don't shine, to quote the vernacular.

Even Adam Smith loving, scum sucking, materialistic money-grubbing capitalists should hate Gates for his destruction of the concept known as competition- Bill Gates didn't work half as hard at programming as he did with behind-the-scenes deals with major firms (like IBM) and shameless and aggressive promotion, not to mention other dirty tricks. It's like the VHS-Beta thing all over again...VHS was an inferior standard that was merely better promoted, and triumphed because of it (there's "competition" at work!). Windows (aka MacOS revisited) is not any better of an interface than UNIX, X, OS-2, or MacOS; it merely has more products available for it, because of Bill Gates' marketing strategy.

Besides, he's kinda creepy. Anyone who spouts as much new-age/corporate/ideology/hidden agenda crap as Billzebub should be under serious suspicion to begin with ("Embrace and extend?" How much more Big Brother can you get?). Anyhow, if any of you have eve r seen the episode of Northern Exposure where the Devil comes to town as a mild-mannered, bespectacled salesman should be really spooked by the resemblance.

What can we do as private citizens? I don't want to incite someone to shoot his little head off, because that might get me in trouble. Besides, that's my job. Here is a list of suggested activities-

1. Try to avoid Microsoft products as much as possible. Yes, I know how hard that is, but we can try. There is a lot of software out there that is cheaper and better than Microsoft stuff, and probably has better documentation.
2. Call Microsoft 800 numbers as often as possible, and stay on the line as long as you can. Why? Because every call is charged to Microsoft. (Bonus points if you live overseas from Redmond, WA.!) Practice your "annoying people as much as possible " skills! Crank calling is fun and educational! Put 'em on speed dial or a blue box! (Er, blue boxes are very very bad, and naughty, and vile.
3. Bring up how much you hate him in conversation with co-workers and/or friends and relatives.
4. Don't watch MSNBC.
5. Don't use Internet Explorer.
6. Don't buy his book.
7. If you happen to see him on the street, spit at him with the upmost contempt.

BIG CONSPIRACY!!! THEY'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME!!!!! :-)

The Obligatory ASCII-gemmatraical Proof that Bill Really is Satan Bill Gates's full name is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III). By converting the letters of his current name to their ASCII values, you get the following: