A
Year in the Life of a Nerd
Did you ever wonder what it was like to be a nerd in high school? Of course
not. Like Andrew Hicks, you were probably an awkward, zit-faced, date-deprived
"loser." Andrew's exhaustive online journal follows his senior
year in high school and, if you search a bit, his present life as a college
freshman. This Epic of Nerdimesh reveals Andrew's private thoughts about
his idiot roommate, working in the food hall, and the problems of nerdom.
It's not the Spellingesque world of "90210," but it's almost every
bit as engaging.-MP
A-
Abandoned Site
Version 1.8
This site is not much more than an exhaustive series of nothing-links that
don't do much and don't lead anywhere. It's this very quality that lends
the site a Zen-like air and leads the user into a new level of spiritual
consciousness. What does it all mean? Nothing. There is not one bit of anything
useful in this 800-page koan. Constantly chastising you for wasting your
time, yet daring you to link to the next page, the Abandoned Site is humorous,
entertaining, and ultimately pointless.-MP
A-
Air
America Homepage
These people love to fly planes. Commercial airline jets to be exact. They
fly, organize, and meticulously schedule a virtual commercial airline and
are very serious about it. You have to admire the obsessive detail lavished
on their love of the world of the airlines. When I first looked at the site,
it took me a full minute to figure out that it wasn't real. If you get creamy
at the thought of 747s, load up your flight simulator and moonlight as a
virtual airline pilot. The only thing missing is the menu of delectable
airline snacks.-MP
B+
Ask Dr.
Neutrino
Dr. Neutrino answers physics questions submitted by net citizenry. They
range from the metaphysical ("Are time and space inseparable?")
and the straightforward ("How do we know how far away stars are?")
to the ridiculous ("What is the terminal velocity of an antelope?").
The good doctor writes clearly, often with a sense of humor. Users are encouraged
to answer questions, too, which sometimes leads to showing off big-brain
capability or ramblings from those under the influence of pot, caffeine,
or both. Entertaining and educational. The only drawback is the inability
to find a question by topic.-RR
A-
beanie
"This is where freedom begins," says beanie's introductory manifesto.
The author obviously has an agenda, though it's difficult to understand
what it is. Sarcastic stickman cartoons about friendship, happiness, and
heaven have a delightfully uncomfortable tone, while a long story about
a monster alien who turns out to be Yoda doesn't convey the sense of tongue-in-cheek
paranoia it
should. However, it is easy to navigate the inconsistent content. Worth
a look.-RR
B-
House of Slime
According to John Stone, the sterile world of computers is missing one thing:
slime. Slime exists almost everywhere you look, and this slime-themed home
page promises to deliver you there. The real star of this site, however,
is the slimy Slug. It features diagrams, photos, slug-lore, and links to
other slug-sites. The information on the site is on the skimpy side, but
it's attractively packaged and humorous in tone.-MP
B+
List of
Dead Presidents
Manus Hand visited the grave sites of every dead president, save four, and
has the pictures to prove it. See photos of Manus in front of the final
resting places of our former great, not-so-great, and totally forgettable
leaders. Simple to navigate and brilliant in concept, this site deserves
a visit by anyone who enjoys exploring people's odd obsessions. If you beg
him, maybe he'll bring you back a Millard Fillmore Memorial T-shirt when
he finally gets there.-MP
A
Mike and Anthony's
Wired Room
A couple of self-professed computer geeks showcase their dorm room at Dakota
State University. General information includes current temperature, door
status (open or closed), and the number of socks each have in their drawers.
You can easily navigate to an overhead diagram of the room and photos of
interesting objects, or interact by turning on a fan for up to 20 seconds.
The FAQs list is funny. I was concerned these guys might be real losers
with too much time on their hands, except they have a great sense of humor
and girlfriends. Go visit.
-RR
A
Needful
Things
Yet another waste of electrons from some dweeb who thinks unpleasant body
functions are worthy of a Web site. This time it's vomiting, with a bonus
discussion of air-sickness bags. Of absolutely no interest to anyone except
frat guys and Australians, who would make throwing up their national sport
if they could sober up long enough to write a set of rules.
-RR
C-
Page
of Jeff's
This could also be called a "Page of Jeffs." A repository for
all net users with said moniker in common to link home pages and talk about
all things of concern to Jeffworld. If you're a Jeff, you need this page.
If not, skip it. The concept doesn't hold up for long, especially with the
ordinary layout. Maybe they need to include famous Jeffs, but really, who's
going to care? Except a Jeff, of course.-RR
C-
Panic
Encyclopedia: The Definitive Guide to the Postmodern Scene
Even if you drop a Baudrillard reference into every conversation you can,
or still think semiotics are a badge of hipness, this tedious site will
put you to sleep faster than a "Herman's Head" reunion show. Taken
from a 1989 book, this postmodern cyber tome feels outdated, with its copious
references to Oliver North and Jim Baker. Even poor Elvis is dissected as
a Jungian archetype. If I wanted to read this kind of stuff, I could get
a Master's Degree.-MP
D
Pigeons:
Amiable Urbanites
Pigeon facts, brought to you by the People for the Ethical Treatment of
Animals. The site begins with heart-tugging story of Cher Ami, the heroic
pigeon, then attempts to clear up the bad rap "rock doves" (or
"flying rats," depending on your sensibilities) have regarding
disease. It also discusses humane methods to keep them from nesting in buildings.
The PETA folks do great outreach for all mistreated critters, and here they
prove they don't play favorites by championing just the cuter animals. I
hope they draw the line at cockroaches, however.
-RR
B
Spies Surveillance Privacy
Personal Protection
Do you need a factory-fresh REMOTE CONTROLLED SURVEILLANCE SUB for clandestine
underwater bikini shots? Or perhaps a USED ARMORED CAR for those family
vacations in Belfast or Beirut? If you have a few hundred thousand dollars
burning a hole in your pocket, this is the place to go. The organization
of the site, however, leaves a bit to be desired. It takes a while to find
pictures of the cool spy stuff, and the product information is a bit spotty.-MP
B
The
Feeble Gourmet
Karl Schilke, aka rAT, has generously detailed every workday lunch since
April 18, 1995, including where, what he ate, and notes on the meal. Discover
that on 4/24/95 the "lemon sauce very tangy and fresh" at the
Golden Wok, but on 5/8/95 at the same restaurant, he "felt slightly
sick and was unable to finish potstickers." The Lunchability Index
shows the overall percentage each restaurant has been frequented by him
to date. Funny and meticulous detailing, though I wish he had included the
address of the Old Country Deli, which rated a bonus "YUM!" several
times.-RR
A
The Lipstick
Page
A library of lipstick information and trivia. Different brands are listed,
some with color samples. French products are thoughtfully tagged, so you
can avoid buying them to protest France's penchant for nuking coral reefs.
Makeup tips and consumer forum have practical information for beginners
and experts alike. Kind of cute and it's laid out well, but it's not weird
enough to be truly interesting, and not in-depth enough if you have a serious
lipstick jones. It's still in progress, but for now, kiss it off.-RR
C
The
Winkle Gallery
The Winkies are triangular cartoon characters taken from an old computer
game. The Winkie Gallery is filled with various artistic renditions of these
"lovable" space aliens: a Winkie with an axe, a Winkie in love,
etc. It's nicely put together, with small images linked to larger GIFs.
The main problem with the page is that the Winkies themselves are annoying.
If you like cutsey humor, you'll probably fall in love with these denizens
and call me a heartless, lonely old man. But I wonder why the Exon Amendment
couldn't censor this stuff.-MP
B-
Todd's
Gallery of Pathetic Human Regret
Todd exposes his own closeted skeletons and airs dirty linen. Categorized
lists of personal regrets from childhood through high school (with the college
years soon to come) include not sticking up for friends when he had the
chance, believing a science teacher was genius, and being unable to convince
pals the nearby woods were haunted by invisible dinosaurs. However, Todd's
biggest regret is having contact with stupidity. The site is easy to navigate,
and easy on the eyes, too. Equal parts confession and rant, this is a well-written
and funny self-portrait.-RR
A
Virtual Kissing
Booth
Each time you enter the virtual "kissing booth," you're greeted
by a different photo of a wholesome girl and wacky caption underneath. I
assume the next step is to smooch your monitor. MMMMMMM! Since my monitor
tastes more like chicken than a girl, the novelty wore off quickly. Oddly,
in none of the pictures I encountered were the girls even puckering up,
and most of the photos look like head shots from a second-rate casting office.
Fortunately they are attempting to recruit some new models. With some more
variety, this could be an entertaining place.-MP
B-
Welcome to Passport
Online
Passport Online touts itself as Toronto's biggest service provider. Its
home page is mostly promotional junk for its service, but down at the bottom
of the page is a tiny hidden treasure: Dyslexicon!, a Web-accessible MOO-like
chat area. What makes it so special? The place is crawling with Canadians.
Pretend you're a lumberjack from Quebec and only speak in a French accent!
Bait Canadians by asking them what state they live in! A small diversion
for the terminally bored.-MP
C+
