If You Need: Patient Or Family Counseling

When you are told you have cancer, your family may draw closer to each other, working together and supporting each other. But sometimes family members pull away because they do not want to upset you with their own worries. If this happens, everyone worries alone, and coping becomes harder. Some families have already been under strain, and coping with a crisis may seem like more than they can handle. Sometimes people with cancer do not have family members they can depend on. In these difficult situations, a cancer counselor can offer support.

Some families think that going to a counselor is a sign of weakness. Others may have wrong ideas about this type of help. They worry that talking about their problems will make things worse, or will change them in some way.

Sometimes going to a counselor can be scary because we think that we might need to change the way we think or act. A counselor doesn't begin by trying to change people; that's not possible. This trained person will help you understand the problems that are troubling you. You and the counselor will work together to find ways to deal positively with these problems.

Sometimes people with cancer want to get help, but their families do not. Sometimes the family wants help and the patient does not. In any case, the person wanting help should get it. If possible, though, the best way to work on problems is as a family.

Hospitals offer short-term counseling for cancer patients. This counseling helps patients learn how to deal with problems relating to cancer. When you first find out that you have cancer, short-term counseling may help you and your family. Learning new ways to solve problems during this time may be all your family needs to handle the illness. Or you may also find counseling useful at a later time if more treatments are needed or if new problems occur. Talking with someone outside your family or circle of friends can help relieve your worries and allow you to make the right choices for yourself.

Counseling for you or your family is often free at your treatment center. The counselor will want to discuss your concerns with other health care workers who are treating you. Then they will know you as a whole person, not just a cancer patient. Since counseling is always private, you must give your permission before any counseling information is shared.

How A Counseling Service Can Help

A counseling service can help you:

Decide how to communicate about your illness, such as what to tell co-workers or how to explain your cancer to your family.
Cope with normal feelings that can occur with the disease and treatment such as:
* Stress
* Worry
* Sadness
* Anger
* Depression
Work with your family to make the changes in family routines and roles that accompany a chronic illness.
Learn methods to relieve the physical and emotional side effects of treatment. This may include relaxation techniques and behavior counseling.

How To Find These Services:

If you want to know if counseling services can help you, talk to your doctor, nurse, or social worker. After meeting with a counselor, you can decide if counseling will help you or your family.

Hospitals often have counselors who provide free service. They may be oncology (cancer) social workers, oncology clinical nursing specialists, psychologists, or psychiatrists.

These people are trained to understand the common problems cancer patients experience. If your hospital does not have counselors, community agencies can provide counseling services. The fees are often based on your income.

Helpful Hints

Cancer counselors are trained to help people solve problems. They should have at least a four-year college degree in a subject like social work, nursing, or psychology. Many counselors will have a master's or doctoral degree as well. Your counselor should also have experience in helping people solve cancer-related problems. Don't be afraid to ask about the person's experience with cancer patients.

If you decide to see a private counselor, you may want to speak with more than one before making a choice. Be sure that you are comfortable talking about your problems with the counselor you choose.

Your local American Cancer Society may provide you with a list of trained cancer counselors.

Not all people with cancer want or need this kind of help. Many people need counseling only during a time of crisis, such as:

When life seems out of control, and it is hard to cope
When choices need to be made about treatment
During changes in family life

Remember that your emotional response to cancer is as vital as your physical response to treatment.

This Fact Sheet is adapted from the book, Helping People Cope: A Guide for Families Facing Cancer, written by Joan F. Hermann, ACSW, Sandra L. Wojtkowiak, RN, MSN, Peter S. Houts, Ph.D., and S. Benham Kahn, MD, and supported by the Pennsylvania Cancer Control Program of the Pennsylvania Department of Health; 1990 Revised Edition

c 1993, American Cancer Society, Inc.

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