10 Things required to be a Digitizer reviewer
             ---------------------------------------------

For those that don't know what Digitizer is, its a lame (very lame)
computer dribble on Channel 4 (UK) teletext service. Where the reviewers
are so stoooooopid!

10 You must know how to use a joystick with at least one fire button.  If
   you know how to use more than one fire button then you will get supper
   reviewer status.

9  You have to have an IQ that can be counted on one finger.

8  Your first name must begin with F and your last must begin with A.

7  When ever an Amiga Press Release is released you must with hold it for
   at least a month and then report it all wrong. This must be done to
   keep the gods of Digitizer happy (Saga and Nintendo).

6  When reviewing or talking about any Saga or Nintendo hardware you 
   must blantantly lie about what it can do. You must make people think
   that Saga and Nintendo are GOD.

5  When ever anyone writes into Digitizer you must make them look dumb if
   this can be achived by using the Gods names (Saga and Nintendo) then
   all the better.

4  When reviewing the latest games for one of our Gods machines (Saga and
   Nintendo) never mention the fact that the game costs more than the
   price of the console, or that its an Amiga port.

3  You must be able to wet yourself when ever any one says the words
   Saga or Nintendo.

2  If a Saga or Nintendo reprasentative comes to the office (shed) you
   must offer your self as a human sacrifice to them. Lick their boots
   kiss their arse and generaly be a total arse kisser.

And the number one is.......

1  You have to be a total sad wanker that thinks a console is God.


Gyro

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