>[This is not a lemon,

[SD-Justy] : "Ha! stupid me, I thought it was one. I was ready to spritz my fish with it."

> no matter if it seems at times.

{SD-Frank}: "That's a disclaimer if I ever saw one..."

> Ranma 1/2 created by Rumiko Takahashi, and owned by a bunch of companies like Viz Video and Kitty Films. All other animes and characters owned by whomever created them. Tis a silly jest.]

{SD-Frank}: "'Tis but a scratch!"
[SD-Justy] : *French voice* "I call your disclaiming-type attempt a silly thing..."

> Ranma stared in astonishment at the girl on her knees before him. He'd often went barefoot, but > nothing like this had ever happened before. "Com'n, stop it! This is disgusting! I don't want any part of this!"

[SD-Justy] : "Why is Ranma with Monica Lewinsky?"
{SD-Frank}: "Geez, someone's going down on Ranma already. I thought this wasn't lemon."

> Kodachi stared up from where she'd been sucking on his toes. "Mmphff?" She let his toe slide > wetly from her mouth, "You're not enjoying this Ranma-darling?"

{SD-Frank}: "Toe. Right. Is that what they call it nowadays? I'm getting old..."

> Ranma valiantly tried to fight down thoughts of allowing Kodachi to continue. One stray thought did flit through his mind. "Who would have known that Kodachi had a foot fetish?"

[SD-Justy] : *Frank Drebbin mode* "Yah... she was one knock-out dame that always had her foot in her mouth."
{SD-Frank}: "Yayyy...a female Dick Morris.. :p"

-------------------

Lunatic Fringe Otaku Presents

Strange Dreams - A Ranma 1/2 Story

by Anne Packrat

------------------

> Ranma woke up with in a cold sweat. "Wha- What the hell was that?" he asked himself, "Why am I > dreaming of Kodachi of all people, and why would I have her do *that*?"

{SD-Frank}:" Un-deed, my deah Ranma, eet ees very simpel. You are vixated in vhat ve call the "vallic" stage...und you are very sexually repressz..."
[SD-Justy] : "Mmm...yes... I suggest a good leeching."

> Ranma shook his head to clear out the last misty remanants. He settled back down to sleep, and > possibly, to dream...

{SD-Frank} *holding a skull* "To sleep...perchance to dream.."
[SD-Justy] : *singing* "We are the... Dream - War-riors..."

-------------------

> "Dahling!"

[SD-Justy] : "Lum!!"

>Ranma heard this and began running more quickly. That call had always caused enormous fear in him. That was curious, nothing scared him, except *her*.

{SD-Frank}: "Ack! Ranma's being chased by Joan Rivers!"

> Ranma risked a look behind him, the purple-haired Shampoo

{SD-Frank}: "Shampoo's hair is blue."
[SD-Justy] : "Less filling!"
{SD-Frank}: "Blue! I mean, Tastes Great!"

> in the tiger-skin bikini was still descending upon him like a vengeful (but very loving) goddess.
> "Dahling no run away! Shampoo catch dahling!"

[SD-Justy] : "Bu-huh-wait-Shamp-Lum?... ooooohh... I get it.

>Ranma screamed as the long awaited electricity engulfed him.

{SD-Frank}: "Ahhh, ya perv, ya probably liked it, just like getting hit repeatedly with a certain girl's mallet..."
[SD-Justy] : "That would explain a great many things."

---------------------

> Ranma rolled over in his sleep. Muttering something about Chinese oni-amazons. The dreams continued...

[SD-Justy] : "Dear God help me! You mean there's more?! "
{SD-Frank}: "This's kinda turning into the silly ending dream scenes of "Wayne's World..."*making funny motions* "Deetleleedoo-deetleleedoo-deetleleedoo..."

---------------------

> "Stupid tomboy, girl," he muttered as he leaped from tree to tree. He flicked one of his dog ears and jumped down onto the village. The future-girl, Akane, was helping clean up after the attack by the demoness, Mara of the Hair.

[SD-Justy] : "Yay! A Nabiki reference... You read Inu-Yasha and tell me she aint Nabs!"

> Akane turned when she heard the dog-boy land. "Inu-Ranma! Why aren't you helping us?"

{SD-Frank}: "So if he got wet, he'd be a half-bitch? ^_-"

> Inu-Ranma sat on his hauches, vaguely looking like a sitting dog. "Hmph. I don't see why I gotta > help. It wasn't my fault."

> Akane fumed.

{SD-Frank}: "Why does Akane always fume in fanfics? Can't she steam of boil once in a while..?"
[SD-Justy] : "Snap, Crackle and Pop: The Three Faces of Akane"

> "Baka! You could still help! I can't believe how insensitive you are sometimes!" > Inu-Ranma glared at Akane, but stooped to help an old woman lash some logs together. Akane saw this and smiled. Inu-Ranma quickly hid his face, lest she notice his blush...

{SD-Frank}: "Don't forget that not only would she notice his blush, but also the nice eyeshadow, and the ruby red lipstick...and..."

-----------------------

> Ranma smiled in his sleep.
The dreams rolled on...

{SD-Frank}: "Rollin' rollin' rollin'..keep those dawgies rollin'.."
[SD-Justy] : "And going...going...going... somebody please help me...."

-----------------------

> "You are safe now, fair maiden!" The swordsman said to the red-haired female beside him. Kuno looked closer at the female. "What's your name?"

> "My name is Ranma Inverse," she said cutely, "Thanks for your help."

{SD-Frank}: "O_o Ranma with the Dragon Slave? Has the world ended..?"

> Kuno looked even more closely at Ranma, the lone hamster powering his mind was running > feverously. "Ah! I thought I was saving a woman, yet I see that thou art a mere girl! Ah well, what are you doing out so late?"

{SD-Frank}: "Oh, c'mon..what's not to like? She rich, she's beautiful...she's got huge..tracts of land... _really_ huge..."

> Ranma Inverse fumed. Little Girl!

[SD-Justy] : *Washu mode* "Little girls... turn ya on???"

> She, a sorcerous unparalled, called a girl! -I know I look young for my age, but this is ridiculous!- she >thought to herself. Still Kuno had helped her (not that she couldn't take the bandits herself).

[SD-Justy] : "Ranma's an A cup in this dream."
{SD-Frank}: "She could take them single-handed.."

> He was stupid, true, but he would serve as a bodyguard...

{SD-Frank}: "Why do I get the feeling this sounds like a Harlequin romance novel? Are we gonna see Kunou's "rippling muscles" later..?"
[SD-Justy] : "Kuno doing a commercial for 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'." O_o

-------------------------

> Ranma sat up in bed. "Man, what is it with these dreams?" he asked softly, "My female self as a > wizard and Kuno as a stupid fighter?" He reflected for a minute, "Well, Kuno as a stupid fighter wasn't that far off...

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, he's not stupid! He'd just be blonde...and slow...^_^;;"
[SD-Justy] : "Personally I call him a ditz"

>Still! These are getting really strange! Next I'll be a three-eyed girl or something..."

{SD-Frank}: "Nah, you'll be one of those three-assed monkeys or something..."
[SD-Justy] : "Its another dream sequence.... no ... no .... I don't wanna....."

--------------------------

> Ryouga Ikari carefully sat down next to his fellow Eva pilot. Ranma didn't even look up. Ryouga > sighed. It was so hard for him to make friends here. He'd hoped that since Ranma also piloted an Eva that she'd know what it was like.

{SD-Frank}: "Scary thing is, Ryouga could actually be _in character_ in this story..."
[SD-Justy] : o_o I am belittled by SD-Franks analytical prowess.
{SD-Frank}: "Thank you, thank you...^_^;;"

> "Nice day..." Ryouga remarked. Ranma nodded slightly, not turning her attention from her lunch. > Undaunted, Ryouga tried again, "You did really well with that one Angel a few days ago... Weren't you scared?"

[SD-Justy] : P-vangelion? bwee! bwee!

> Ranma gave Ryouga a brief look and then was back at her lunch. >"Hai..." she whispered softly.

[SD-Justy] : *whimper*

----------------------------

> Time passed the sleeping Ranma. Dreams passed him too...

{SD-Frank}: "We're passing by, too...he just doesn't notice, since we're omniscient.."
[SD-Justy] : *waves to Ranma as we pass by*

>-----------------------------

Ranma-Ranma bounded outside happily. Mousse had come to play again! "Papa-san!" Ranma-Ranma called, "I'm going to go play with Mousse!"

{SD-Frank}: "Wouldn't it be more practical to call him Ranma^2?"

> "Okay, Ranma-Ranma!" the mad scientist/father called, "Try not to destroy too much of the city!"

{SD-Frank}: "Heh. A futile effort in any series, keeping property damge from happening..."

> "HAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!!" Ranma-Ranma called. "Mousse? You come to play with Ranma-Ranma?"
Mousse scowled. "I've come to get your body, Ranma-Ranma! This time it will be mine!"

[SD-Justy] : "Hey! Eimee wanted to kill her!"
{SD-Frank}: "I'm not even asking what Mousse wants with Ranma^2's body...though I really need to rewatch my Nuku-Nuku tapes to refresh my memory..^_^;;;"

> A mass of guns, blades, scythes, and other implements of destruction popped out of her robe. "Prepare > yourself!"

-------------------------------

> This time Ranma woke up almost screaming. "My god... To think, that I'd be a-a c-c-c cc-aa..."

{SD-Frank}: "Well, technically, a homemade cat-infused robot/cyborg, so it's ok to say it... ^_^"
[SD-Justy] : *Bedivere mode* "Who are you that are so wise in the ways of science?"

> He shivered and got up to use the bathroom.

{SD-Frank}: "We all have to go sometime...in 38 manga volumes, I've never once seen Ranma go to "relieve himself"...^_^; Gotta be a long time to hold it in.."

> He settled back in bed, and promptly fell asleep.

[SD-Justy] : "It never stated if he actually made it though. He could have just wizzed on the wayside. Ahh... cripes another o...."

-------------------------------

> "Can you walk Ukyou home, Ranma?" Youta asked the red-haired video girl, "I'm so full that I can >barely move!"

[SD-Justy] : *singing* "Ukyo killed the radio star..."

> Ranma scowled and glared at Youta. "You are such a wimp sometimes!" She scowled and headed > towards the door where Youta's unrequited love, Ukyou, was waiting. "Com'n..." She gestured outside > and put on her shoes. Ukyou did the same and followed her. Soon they were walking home.
> "So, uh, how did you meet my, uh, brother?" Ranma asked. Ukyou took a breath and answered, >"Well, I was coming home from working at the restaurant when I found him just sitting outside a store. He just looked so cute and forlorn..."
> "Baka," Ranma replied (sounding like certain tomboy),

{SD-Frank}: "A certain tomboy, huh? I wonder who that could be...hmmm.."

> "He can't even go shopping by himself!"

[SD-Justy] : *Python-esque fake mother voice* " ...and what would the neighboors think then...damn shame...can't even go shopping...feh! "

> Ukyou didn't seem to hear the criticism. "And, well, he's been so nice to me, I thought I'd make him dinner as a sort of thankyou for all the advice he'd given me." She stopped suddenly. Ranma turned to see what the matter was. Ukyou said softly, almost sadly, "It would have been easier if I'd fallen in love with Youta-kun..."

[SD-Justy] : * Python-esque fake mother voice* "...that little brat Youta? fat chance...like he'd marry a hussy like you... now my Dennis...yes there's a lad for you..."

> Ranma stared at the girl. -Youta...-

-------------------------

> This time Ranma woke up screaming. Him as a Video Girl?! Never!

{SD-Frank}: "It's better than being the "Material Girl".."
[SD-Justy] : *Aeka mode* "or that monster-woman! "

>He sat up and wiped the sweat from his brow. "No way... What's wrong with me?! Why am I having >these dreams?!!!!"

{SD-Frank}: "I told you..it's because you're sexually repressed...

> he yelled to the world. Next to him he heard a disgruntled growl. He looked over and found his father >holding up a sign. It read:
> "You should have believed me when I said Akane was cooking!"

{SD-Frank}: "Cooking? I thought she was fuming, last I saw..."

-------------------------

Epilogue (Author's Indulgence)

{SD-Frank}: "Woo-hoo! Gratuitous self-insertion..."

> I looked around at the strange, yet familiar bar around me. "The Retreat" it was called if I > remembered correctly. I was sitting with a girl and a man with glowing eyes. -Jinx and Hunter- my mind filled me in.

[SD-Justy]: " I wish that your mind could fill me in, too."

> "So," Hunter said, his eyes neutral, "Who are you thanking for this?" > I cleared my throat and began the obligatory author's notes. "Well, first I'm thanking Rumiko Takahashi for creating Ranma..." They nodded approval. "Then I'm thanking my friends, Mike and Todd for getting me into it in the first place..."

[SD-Justy]: " Great guys Mike and Todd! ^_^ " *whispers to Frank* " Who the hell are they??"
{SD-Frank}: "Dunno. Gratuitous extras? Secret lovers? You got me..^_^"

"It was good they did that," Jinx replied, "Otherwise, many CAPOWers would go unmalleted!"

{SD-Frank}: O_o
[SD-Justy]: *looking wildly around with a 'somebody-please-fill-me-in-too' look*

> "Then I want to thank all my friends, online, college, and offline, for supporting me. And I want to > thank the ever resourceful people who read all these and put them on RAAC, and, uh, I guess I should thank CAPOW..." A cheer went up at that. I continued. "Uh, and I'd like to thank the reader.

[SD-Justy]: "Ummm... yeah! congrats...er...thanks...???"
{SD-Frank}: "Hey! What about us! The reviewers?"

> Comments should be mailed to me at a_packrat@juno.com, and my stories are at > http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/8094/lspace.html."

> "AND?" Joseph prodded from a nearby table.

{SD-Frank}: "Yeah, AND? Us..!"
[SD-Justy]: "Us...We did something, too???"
{SD-Frank}: "Yeah, we sat through all those damn dream sequences.." ^_^

> And gulped and gathered my courage, "And I wish to apologize to Richard Lawson for a remark I made in 'Introspections: Of Pandas and Men'.

{SD-Frank}: "Lost again in the sea of obscurity...oh well..^_^"

> The remark I made was that Genma never gets a fair shake in fanfics. In fact, as I discovered later that > night when I read the series, Genma is portrayed very well and honorably in 'Thy Inward Love' a series > by Mr. Lawson. I apologize profusely, and would like to thank those (including Mr. Lawson) who > brought this to my attention."

> Joseph nodded in satisfaction. "I'm surprised a tomboy like you was humble enough to apologize!"

{SD-Frank}: "Hey, she's the certain tomboy! I figured it out! ^_^"

> My eyes glazed over at that as I felt anger rise. "Tomboy?!" A mallet appeared in my hand.
> "BAKA!!!!!" [WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM]

[SD-Justy]: "Blood!...yes, blood is good. Justy know blood. "
{SD-Frank}: "The author's the violent type.." *sweatdrop*

---------------------------

> Anne sat up. She'd just had a really strange dream. She couldn't remember the exact detail, but > she seemed to remember mallets, CAPOW, and an infinite wall of sake... > A knock at the door brought her attention back to the present. Anne climbed down off her top bunk > and grumbled to herself. "It's a good thing my roommates are gone for the weekend! Who would call at > this hour?" She opened the door to find several angry, weapon-wielding, Ranma 1/2 characters.

[SD-Justy]: " Yes....ok...makes sense for me now. "

> "We wish to talk to you about your latest *story*, Anne..." Ranma said.

{SD-Frank}: "Revenge for OOC-ness..? ^_^"
[SD-Justy]: "Reckless abandonment of character."

> "EEP!" Anne shouted before she was grabbed by the shirt collar and dragged out into the hall. That > night the dorm was disturbed by the sound of violence, but everyone was tired from finals so they didn't get up to check.

> Afterward, Anne muttered weakly, "I-ite...."

{SD-Frank}: "Shucks, you mean it wasn't a fair fight?"

*screen fades to black*

{SD-Frank}: "Whee! Onto the review. The strengths - nice concept. Ranma's mind is definitely filled ith a lot of strange thoughts considering his situaiton, and finding himself in certain dream situations certainly would reflect that. Psychologically, it's plausible. And funny, too. Weaknesses? Not enough Ranma characters employed (looked like one a dream sequence) and it's pretty underdeveloped. The concept is nice, but it really needs to be developed as well as give more slapstick to it. Having Ranma spend time in the Slayers world for more than two paragraphs lends itself to many funny possibilities, as does the Evangelion one with serious ones. So, if more complex, it would have been better - seemed hastily put out. Also, no Nabiki, and I'm sure Justy's gonna be all over you for that, as will I ^_^ No Nabiki! Justy?

[SD-Justy]: " No Nabiki! What's this world coming to, no mention of Nabiki whatsoever, except my extrapolation from Inu-Yasha, minus 20 points! OK. Interesting concept. This fanfic wasn't meant to be of epic length however, it skipped in and out dream sequences too quickly. This fanfic, if planned to act out a thought process, through dreaming, using the various animes, wow. It could be the start of something big. The animes chosen were good. The shock value of the first scene set me up looking for more incredible scenes, but the others didn't quite make it. If that Kodachi bit were switched to the end then it could lead up to shocker at the end. IMHO. Overall great idea, but too much jumping around for such a short fic. I'll give it a B-, it has possibilities."

{SD-Frank}: "That's all for now..see you next time, and remember...1 out of 10 people dream about red-haired, pig-tailed female martial artists sucking _their_ toes..."

[SD-Justy]: "...the other 9 out of 10 actually partake of it!"

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