Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
            How many more chickens have to cross the road
            before you believe it?

Richard M. Nixon:   The chicken did not cross the road. I
                    repeat, the chicken did *not* cross the
                    road.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
                doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the
                heck was this *chicken* doing walking around
                all over the place anyway?"

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
            which will not only cross roads, but it will lay
            eggs, file your important documents AND balance
            your checkbook. Unfortunately, when it divides 3
            by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

Oliver Stone:   The question is not "Why did the chicken cross
                the road? But is rather "Who was crossing the
                road at the same time, whom we overlooked in
                our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
        naturally selected in such a way that they are now
        genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Louis Farrakhan:    The road, you will see, represents the
                    black man. The chicken crossed the "black
                    man" in order to trample him and keep him
                    down.

Martin Luther King,Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens
                        will be free to cross roads without
                        having their motives called into
                        question.

Grandpa:    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
            the road. Someone told us that the chicken had
            crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Machiavelli:    The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
                Who cares why? The end of crossing the road
                justifies whatever motive there was.

Albert Einstein:    Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
                    road moved beneath the chicken depends upon
                    your frame of reference.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:    The chicken did not cross the road-it
                        transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:   To die. In the rain.

Colonel Sanders:    I missed one?