GOOD BOYFRIENDS: MINIMUM REQUIREMENTS
In Order to be a good boyfriend:

1. A boyfriend's biceps must be bigger than his Ear Lobes.

2. Your Boyfriend  must be willing to hand over the Control of the TV   
remote, without sweating, swearing, squirming or extreme distortions of his face.

3. Your boyfriend must be able to remember both your first and last name, within ten minutes of watching Baywatch.

4. A boyfriend's vocabulary must include at least 20% intelligible words
mixed in with the typical blend of grunts, snorts, and belches.

5. Your boyfriend should be able to defend you against at least two   
thugs. If you are willing to help then it should go up to six.

6. The sound level of a boyfriend eating a cheeseburger must remain under 90 decibles...unless he does it in under 6 seconds.

7. Your boyfriend must be able to name more great events in American   
History than episodes of the Three Stooges.

8. Your boyfriend must reserve at least 15 minutes a day for conversation that does NOT include sports, cars, Super Models, or Science fiction movies.

9. Boyfriend's must know the difference between right and 
wrong....you're right and they're wrong!

10. Your boyfriend must be able to detect important shifts in your   
emotional needs within 3 weeks of when they occur. (PMS)

11. Your boyfriend's idea of a date must on occasion include the   
possibility of him spending money.

12. Your boyfriend must be able to dance at least one dance OTHER than   
the hokey-pokey.

13. Boyfriend hair guidelines:
a) his hair must never look like a nest for rodents.
b) his hair must never look better than yours.
c) his hair must never be longer than yours

14. A boyfriend's idea of a sensative and emotionally satisfying movie   
should not iclude any films with Clint, Arnold, or Bruce in it.

15. Ideally, boyfriend's should be able to dress themselves with style   
and flair...or at least just be able to dress themselves.

16. You must not be able to smell your boyfriend's breath beyond a radius of 4 feet.