›               o=o=o=o=o=››              Humor Corner›› It  seemed  to  me  that  it would be› appropriate, given the discussion  of› the Y2K problem on Side 1, to include› the two e-mails  I  received  on  the› topic.   They  both came from members› of LIAUG, our  sister  club  on  Long› Island.   The  first  is   from   JIM› HARRIS,  and  the second is from MARK› GLICKSMAN.››››››› - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -› Subject: 100GB Bug›    Date: Fri, 9 Oct 1998 ›    From: Jim Harris›      To: Alan Sharkis (and others›          I've edited out -- Ed.)›› Experts Warn of Threat From 100GB Bug›› Firebringer  News  Service  (FBNS)  -› Experts warned today  of  a  new  and› deadly   threat  to  our  beleaguered› civilization: the 100GB Bug.  As most› people  know,  McDonald's  restaurant› signs show the number  of  hamburgers› the  giant  chain  has  sold.    That› number  now  stands  at  99   billion› burgers,  or   99  Gigaburgers  (GB).› Within  months  or  even  weeks, that› number  will  roll  over   to  100GB.› McDonald's   signs,   however,   were› designed years ago, when the prospect› of   selling  one   hundred   billion› hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote.› So the  signs have only  two  decimal› places.   This  means that, after the› sale of  the  100  billionth  burger,› McDonald's   signs  will   read   "00› Billion Burgers Sold."  This, experts› predict, will   convince  the  public› that,  in  over  thirty   years,   no› McDonald's  hamburgers   have ever in› fact been sold,  causing  a  complete› collapse  of  consumer  confidence in› McDonald's   products.   The  ensuing› catastrophic drop in sales   is  seen› as  almost  certain  to   force   the› already-troubled     company     into› bankruptcy.  This, in turn, will push› the  teetering  American economy over› the   brink,   which,  finally,  will› complete the total devastation of the› global  economy,  ending civilization› as we know it, and  forcing us all to› live on beetles.›› "The  people  who  know  -- the sign-› makers   --   are  really  scared  of› 100GB," one  expert said.   "I  don't› know  about you, but I'm digging up a› copy of THE   FIELD  GUIDE  TO  NORTH› AMERICAN  INSECTS and heading for the› hills."››››››››› - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -››             Y2K SOLUTION›› Corporate has determined  that  there› is  no longer any need for network or› software applications support.   (See› below)›› The  goal  is to remove all computers› from   the   desktop  by  Jan,  1999.› Instead, everyone  will  be  provided› with  an   Etch-A-Sketch.  There  are› many sound reasons for doing this:›››››››      1. No Y2K problems››      2. No technical glitches keeping›         work from being done.››      3. No more wasted  time  reading›         and writing emails.›› Thank you.››››››››››››› Frequently  Asked Questions (FAQ) for› Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support:›››     Q: My Etch-A-Sketch  has  all  of›        these  funny little lines  all›        over the screen.››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch›        off?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››››››     Q: What is the shortcut for Undo?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: How do I create a new document›        window?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: How  do I  set the  background›        and  foreground  to  the  same›        color?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: What  is the proper  procedure›        for  rebooting  Etch-A-Sketch?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: How do I delete a document  on›        my Etch-A-Sketch?››     A: Pick it up and shake it.›››     Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch›        document?››     A: Don't shake it.›››               o=o=o=o=o=››››