<-><->› WARNING MESSAGE by JEAN BROKAW, Editor› of P.A.C.E. taken from January 1995› issue!, and reprinted by OL' HACKERS› AUG, NY›› Your computer is subject to› breakdowns during periods of CRITICAL› need. Here is the reason.›› A special chip in the computer,› called a "CRITICAL DETECTOR", senses› the user's EMOTIONAL STATE, in terms› of how desperate he or she is to use› the computer. The "CRITICAL DETECTOR"› then creates a MALFUNCTION› proportional to the desperation of the› user.›› Threatening your computer with› any sort of violence, only aggravates› the situation. Likewise, any attempts› to use another computer may cause it› to also malfunction, through› transmission of infrared rays from one› computer to the other. They all seem› to belong to the same union. ›› Just keep cool and say nice› things to your computer, and pat it often to show you love it-nothing else› seems to work. NEVER, NEVER, under any› circumstances, let your computer know› you are in a hurry, or MAD at it!!!› <-><->››