Teen Scene - Jokes

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.

~ Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
~ You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open.
~ Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
~ You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
~ You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
~ Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
~ Your income tax refund check bounces.
~ It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
~ The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
~ You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
~ Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
~ You put both contacts in the same eye.
~ Your mother approves of the girl you are dating.
~ Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
~ You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.
~ Nothing you own is actually paid for.
~ Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
~ The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
~ You invite the peeping Tom in . . . and he says no.
~ The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
~ You call your Mom and tell her that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, there's a sandwich on the front porch.
~ You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party last night . . . and there aren't any.

Top 10 Things Only Women Understand

10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

AND, The Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

	Jokes!
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Last Updated: 06/05/00 Webmistress: Cathie Walker © 1999 Centre for the Easily Amused