This page is dedicated to bringing you the latest in movie news hosted by the best character on SCTV (in this fan's opinion), played by the excellent Joe Flaherty.
AAAaaawwoooo! I bid you....welcome to issue #17 of Count Floyd's Movie News. I've been told I have a surprise guest coming in so stay tuned. In this issue I'd like to recommend John Carpenter's Vampires. I'd like to, but I won't. Oh, it has all the elements of a cool vampire flick like James Woods as a vampire slayer.
Woods plays Jack Crow who is out seeking revenge because his family was wiped out by a vampire. He is helped by Montoya, played by Daniel Baldwin. Woods leads a band of slayers to an old abandoned house to flush out a nest of vampires. In this film holy water, garlic and crosses have no effect on these creatures. Wooden stakes and sunlight do work, however. Most of the slayings deal with Montoya and a priest waiting outside by the vampiremobile while Crow and the rest try to skewer the vampires so a cable can be attached to them.
When Crow gives the word via radio Montoya operates a winch which pulls the vampires outside where they ignite into flames due to the sunlight while the priest prays over them. They have limited themselves to this style by the storyline so we see 10 or so stuntmen and stuntwomen being pulled by a cable across the floor into the light. It was cool the first 2 or 3 times but became routine later on. After flushing out the nest the group realizes they missed the one vampire they were looking for. Valek the master vampire had flown the coop, so to speak.
Valek is menacingly played by Thomas Ian Griffith. The effects are a little gory, like the time Valek kills a member of the slayer group by burying his hand in the victim's stomach and sawing his way upward until his hand has come out of the top of the guy's head. The guy then splits in two and the camera is right there to capture all its gory richness.
I feel this film should have been called "John Carpenter's version of Robert Rodriquez's From Dusk Til Dawn". I feel it was a direct attempt to capture the feel of that earlier work. Like I said, it had all the elements like James Woods, a strangely handsome yet menacing vampire and ties to the Catholic Church but the elements did not snap into place to produce a smooth action picture. I recommend you see it when it comes out on tape or better yet wait for it to come out on cable.
So now it's time to..... oh hello. Ladies and gentlemen, my surprise guest is here, Mr. James Woods. Hello Mr. Woods, welcome to the show. Uh.... why are you attaching that cable to my legs? Well there he goes. James Woods, ladies and gentlemen. As I was saying, so now it's time to....whoa. Well, while I'm being dragged across the floor please enjoy the movie news won't you?
I would like to recommend a film called "Fierce Creatures". It is the story of Rollo Lee, played by John Cleese, who is sent to manage a zoo in England to ensure that it makes a 20% profit or it will be shut down by its Rupert Murdoch-like owner played by Kevin Cline. Rollo instructs the zoo staff, which includes Michael Palin, that they must get rid of the current animals and acquire more fierce creatures which will boost ticket sales. The staff then tries to convince Cleese that their particular animal is fierce in its own way. Cleese will have none of it and orders the animals destroyed.
Take heart. All is not lost but I won't reveal much here. The mean owner sends his son and an assistant over to the zoo to oversee the operation. They are played by Kevin Cline in a dual role and Jamie Lee Curtis. Cleese, Curtis, Cline and Palin joined forces in bringing us "A Fish Called Wanda". The same chemestry is there but "Fierce Creatures" is not quite as funny or tightly wound. It is a nice film to see especially if you like animals mixed with a dash of Fawlty Towers and A Fish Called Wanda. Have fun with it.
Congratulations go to Mike W., who becomes the new Triviameister of Mellonville for answering this trivia question correctly: What actor in the recent hit "Titanic" also appeared in the TV movie "SOS Titanic"? The correct answer is David Warner. A flap of the bat wings goes to the following people who also answered the trivia question correctly: Sonia L., Douglas W., Patti J., Bil B., Peter G., Glenn St.G., Matt C., Eric W., Tony B., Christine F., Kevin J., Mark B., Kevin F., Jerry D. and Venckman. Give yourselves an atomic wedgie.
The Triviameister of Mellonville asks the following trivia question: "Which actor appeared in "Revenge of the Nerds" and "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"?
If you are the first person to answer this trivia question correctly you will have the option of asking the question in the next issue. To answer the trivia question please click here. Good luck.
The survey question in the last issue was: "What is your favorite Kevin McCarthy movie?". The survey SAYS:
AAAAaaawwoooo! Count Floyd will return in issue #18 titled "The Living Gaylights or How Bond Gives a Whole New Meaning to the Name Blofeld.
