Taxi drivers, waitresses, salesmen - those who, in the course of their work constantly come into contact with the unwashed masses, by necessity develop the skills for "sizing up" people at a glance. It might indeed be a wise investment of time to take a temporary or part-time job that would put you in the situation of having to deal with people face-to-face. Note, in passing, that the formal study of psychology fails to deliver on its promises - it provides precious little insight into personality types and motivations, and yields virtually nothing of any practical value for dealing with people in real life.



You must be comfortable enough in a social setting to step out of the context, to detach yourself emotionally, to function as an uninvolved, objective observer. Look beyond superficial physical appearances, disregard visceral reactions to a pretty face and provocative curves. Critically important is careful fact gathering and analysis, and this means clarity of thought and brutal honesty. Observe the facial expressions and "body language", particularly the posture and muscle tension, the set of the mouth, and the eyes, the "windows of the soul". Sense the movements and changes in the lines of the face and its features, particularly the forehead, the eyebrows, and the lips. Read the signals, tune in on the subtle nonverbal cues. From there, proceed to listening to and interpreting what the woman says and how she says it, her tone of voice and gestures. Listen as well to your own experience and that exquisitely sensitive intuitive judgment of people that you have so carefully nurtured.

There are two basic techniques for figuring out "what people are about". The active method involves deliberately prodding and provoking people to get a reaction, or more subtly, just giving 'cues', and seeing how they respond. Simply asking questions works, too, though this must be done with a degree of finesse. Then, there is the passive method, which uses awareness and focused attention (social sonar), rather than more intrusive methods of "reading" people. Sharp-eyed observation, gathering impressions, and using logic, judgment, and intuition may be sufficient in many cases to do a "quick-and-dirty" person analysis.

Upon meeting a person, you immediately get a snapshot of her, a fuzzy "first approximation". As you become better acquainted, you refine that judgment into a "second approximation", a somewhat more accurate understanding, as the picture gradually comes into sharper focus. This could further evolve into an elaborate structure, a multicolored mosaic representing your experiences with her, as you slowly assemble the missing clues to what she is about, one little piece at a time. As your relationship continues, you can explore the deeper, more subtle aspects of her personality, and get to know her quite well.