Shards & Fragments
Assorted Tips and Hints
These are odds 'n ends, written on scraps of paper found among the contents
of Uncle Filbert's steamer trunk. They are to be taken "with a grain of salt",
to be sure, but strangely enough, most of the "advice" actually seems to work.
How can you tell if she 'likes' you?
There are certain physical telltales, such as enlargement of the pupils,
slightly defocused gaze, rapid pulse, and reddened skin that may
indicate infatuation. If she get flustered and nervous speaking to you,
and is unable to make eye contact, it could be that she is overwhelmed,
quite taken with you.
Note that this is NOT a reliable method, as the signs can easily be
misread and could signify quite the opposite in some situations. It
is far better to trust the normal communications channels, to listen to
what she says, to understand her behavior toward you.
"Mesmerizing" a woman.
Everyone has a characteristic cadence in their movements, their
mannerisms, their walk, their speech, their personal way of doing
things. This is their heartbeat rhythm, their most intimate
"signature", their very style. When two people begin to draw together,
they unconsciously adjust their rhythms to blend and synchronize.
By design, you can subtly accelerate and reinforce this very natural
process, using deliberate mimicry.
Speaking with her, detach part of your mind from the conversation,
and gradually key your verbal responses to the cadence and timing
of her speaking rhythm. Walking by her side, carefully copy her pace
and cadence. Facing her, match her every breath, even her blink rate.
You are trying to synchronize your physiological rhythms. The objective
is to forge a harmony, a resonance, a unity from your physical nearness.
This methodology is presented for informational purposes only ("Don't
try this at home, folks..."). Such techniques have their dangers
and are not appropriate for general use, as there are very serious
ethical implications.
Caution and discretion advised.
Glendower: I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
Hotspur: Why, so can I, or so can any man;
But will they come when you do call for them?
Shakespeare, Henry IV
How to attract the eyes of every woman present, as you walk into a room.
- Be dressed in a single, solid color.
A dark shade, such as blue, green, or black works best, but white is
also effective.
- Have several large metal ball bearings in your pocket.
They make a subaudible clicking as you walk.
- Speak as little as possible, and in a whisper if you must.
And now that you've got their attention, what are you going to do with it???
How to get a woman to approach you, to make the first move.
Most women have a natural reluctance to making the initial approach to a
man, partly as a result of upbringing (yes, even in this day and age),
and from fear of risking rejection. This creates a fairly high barrier
to be overcome before a woman will 'come on' to you... but she will if
she wants you badly enough, if she perceives an opportunity to meet you
slipping away, if she fears losing you to another woman.
- Make yourself accessible, but not too accessible
[there should be at least a slight resistance to overcome, something about you that
intrigues and challenges women].
Be friendly, but not fawning.
Make eye contact.
Come across as non-threatening, but slightly detached, with an air of mystery.
Speak softly, but authoritatively.
- Send out the right signals, with your eyes, your bearing, your body language.
Stand straight and show pride.
Radiate warmth and self-confidence.
Illuminate your personal space with your smile.
- Find or set up a context, a situation suitable for being approached
(consider this an exercise in strategic thinking).
"Sadie Hawkins Day" dances, where it is expected that the woman selects her partner.
Certain meeting places, such as the notorious Café Keese, in Berlin, Germany,
where it is the norm for women to invite men to their tables.
- Possess or master something that women want access to, such as specialized skills
(law, medicine) or status / prestige.
"Safe" gifts to give early in a relationship.
- Stuffed animals
- Bath oils and aromatic soaps
- Boxes of candy, especially premium and usual types
- Potted plants, especially semi-exotic ones, such as desert cacti
- Trinkets and key chain charms (sterling silver)
- Boxed games
- Unusual puzzles
- Paperweights made of semi-precious stones
- Carved wooden figurines
- Almost anything with jade or amber in it
- Books
Useful skills and attributes to cultivate:
"A Brief History of Romantic Love"
(based on research fragments by an unidentified student)
For most of human history, single men have not had to concern themselves
with meeting and courting women. Arranged marriage was the norm. Dating
and relationships did not occupy a place in everyday life, and the social
skills necessary for the practice of same were superfluous. Outside of the
sanction of marriage, seduction and secretive assignations were common.
"Romantic love" is a relatively recent innovation, originating in the
High Middle Ages, most notably in the Twelfth Century court of Eleanor
of Aquitaine, and spread among the royalty and aristocracy by wandering
troubadors and minstrels. It is only since the Industrial Revolution
and the rise of the Middle Class that the custom of marriage based on
love gained wide acceptance, that is to say, respectability.
This is not to minimize or deprecate the role of attraction between
persons, both on a physical and spiritual level, as a motivating factor
in all the matings and couplings that have taken place throughout the
ages. Men and women have alway managed to circumvent the conventions
and restraints of society in order to satisfy their own needs. Social
boundaries exist to keep natural urges within bounds, to "tame" them
for the sake of the common good.
The pages following are badly water-stained and illegible.
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... for love is strong as death, passion cruel as the grave;
it blazes up like blazing fire, fiercer than any flame.
Song of Solomon 8:6 [NEB]
