ILLEGAL Issue #35
Released on February 12th 1989 - Circulation: unknown Home | Fanzines | Previous Issue | Next Issue | ![]() |
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![]() That's indeed a very good question this month, isn't it? Not that much has been cracked and released lately, but this is due to the time of the year. So we're waiting for the Spring. I am, you are, we are and they are, so everybody's waiting for a change. I hope I could help you over the time a little big with that mag, and I'd like to greet some of my mates... IKARI (JUST ICE - great to see you still fighting), THE DOUGHNUTS (THE FLEET, thanx... hic... for the... hic.. brandy!), FAIRLIGHT (world's best HOBBIT, STRIDER, GOLLUM), COSMOS (servus to all of 'em), everybody at ELITE, MAD ALL (my old buddy...), ASH & DAVE, VISION FACTORY + THE BEYONDERS (WOOKIE thanx for express-mail), WORLD OF WONDERS, ORACLE, NBB (LAZER), BUGGY, MR.CURSOR, LAZER (crazy banana), PIT and his girlfriend in Bonn, GEORGE - CHUNK and DR.J, BUTCHER and MITCH of EAGLESOFT, THE PIMP (le) of U.S.A., JUDGE DREDD of MAYHEM as well as MANDRAKE of RAMPAR... ...MR.ZEROPAGE and IRATA of RSI, FRANTIC, HOTLINE, BROS, BEASTIE BOYS (AXI-tom), F.A.M.E. (MIC + Adamo), MANIACS OF NOISE (Charlotto and Jeroenius), PINGA and the rest of the old friends, T'KAY, MWS of RADIE, CONAN and RAGMAN, ZOFF, BEERMAN and the others, SOFTIS for helping me over my damn flu, STEFFIE for keeping me alive, and all things that made me finishing ILLEGAL again! L8R M8S! JEFFIE! NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION Yo mates! This time it is not RAGMAN presenting to you the latest news (he seems to drive around with his red Open too much), but it is your old JEFFIE!
WHAT'S THE SCORE IN DENMARK? This is EXCELL of IKARI with a short briefing of what is happening in Denmark at the moment. Some of the guys in DOMINATORS have now decided that they left DOMINATORS to start a new group called CHANNEL 42. The two guys who left them are ROOZE and the former main cracker ZOOLOOK. The response to this was quick, and so five members from NOISE were asked to join DOMINATORS, due to the loss of their skills in the art of doing fine cracks like ZOOLOOK did. That became obvious when they sent out L.E.D. STORM, 'cause this crack looked pretty much like a job of a fast restore on a freeze machine. Furthermore, KARATE KID released a demo called "W.H.I.D. PART 2" where he claimed that ROOZE would have been kicked out, and that he found it pretty strange that ZOOLOOK left. Then he claimed that a game was given to him with the permission (?) to crack it and in case ROOZE sent out a version of this useless shoot'em-up game, the KARATE KID would beat up ROOZE. Well not that I mind, but I think it's pretty small-brained to get so excited about a single game of that quality! The response of the guys in CHANNEL 42 has not been shown yet, but I know from some of them that they were quite angry about what KARATE KID said. It seems like NOISE is about to be a group of a very few members, as another member of NOISE was asked to join 2000 AD, because he is able to supply originals, which 2000 AD was in great need of. So perhaps we should be able to see some new cracks from 2000 AD, who haven't cracked anything since BATMAN. The Danish TV news had an article about NAZI programs released on disk, and tape for home computers, especially the C64 resistance against negros, Jews and other kind of people who are not like the perfect human was getting bigger, and new Nazi movements use the computer to release their sick policies, and try to get new members in this way. Often it was simple BASIC programs, with a long line of questions about Jews, and what to do with these "unwanted" elements. And after the questions, the computer gives a value of the inputs. If your name was Jewish, the answer was: -"You are a Jew, but you can be used for hard work!". I very much hope that if you ever get a hold of one of these things, you are smart enough never to release it! Please don't get me wrong, of course I'm not a Jew, but I just don't think we should forget what happened in Germany 1930-46. Most of them often don't know exactly what the Nazi movement did to the world! Since TRI-DOS left IKARI, many people said IKARI was dead. Well, IKARI is not dead, and we'll still put out all the stuff. January was not much, because not many games have been released. TRI-DOS left IKARI because of a broken diskdrive and a completely collapsed C64, and since he didn't have money to repair it, he wanted to go Amiga. Now we see him cracking under the DCS cover, so I'm wondering if MR.SULU gave him the money? /EXCELL of IKARI LETTERS TO THE EDITOR! I got a strange letter on my PLK from none other than EVIL EDDIE, the guy that used to write for DELIRIOUS MAGAZINE. He always managed to keep his real identity from the public, even I by myself don't know it. Well here is his STRANGE letter... /JEFFIE To ILLEGAL magazine, My name is EVIL EDDIE, the duke of hell, the ultimate doomsday machine, you of course remember me - I was the one that enlightened the readers of DELIRIOUS MAGAZINE with my literary talents. But as D.M. has now ceased to exist, I will not offer my talents to ILLEGAL. Face it SMART, you need me. You need a demi-God like me to heighten the contense of your publication. Forget that pale imitation called Gogo Brown! I am the one and only mysterious writer - the one who knows everybody, but nobody knows him! If ya want me to write for your magazine then print this full letter in your next issue and print the words; "SATANA VINI" under this letter and you will receive my articles as a regular basis. Remember, being cool is being bad, and I'm the worst there is... Evil Eddie S A T A N A V I N I Well, Evil Eddie, if you read this you know that we of ILLEGAL would like to get your articles, so send'em... /JEFF SMART VENLO MEETING! - THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES Due to some difficulties the organizers of the legendary meeting in Venlo had to change locations, so everybody was waiting to see the new Venlo meeting... After driving over the big bridge in Venlo, we had no problems to find the new place, as it lies in the middle of the shopping area in Venlo. The price for the entrance didn't change, but that was the only thing that didn't change... The room appeared smaller, compared to the old one. But it's more comfortable - you can buy drinks and food there at once. The computer have been built up in a circle, but also in the middle of the circle a lot of computers have been placed. Hum, people seem to concentrate on one or two points. The SHN, the organizers, are selling empty disks, public domain software, computer magazines and a lot more there from now on - I hear the money coming. But the most important thing of all was that apart from the German group ELITE, nobody really famous did show up on the 64. There were a lot more Germans than Dutchs, and besides LETHAL of HOTLINE, nobody from HOTLINE, BROS, SPHINX or disk-stealing ORION was present. Thank God, that at least HOBBIT from FAIRLIGHT was there, giving a lot of autographs... Other fairly known groups on 64 were; ACROSS, FRANTIC, PARAMOUNT, ZENOBITS and a few others... It was better, if you were fixed on the Amiga business. Not only top group VISION FACTORY + THE BEYONDERS attended the meeting, but also some guys from BAMIGA, THE BAND and WORLD OF WONDERS came and said "Hello". Well, on both 64 and Amiga not much stuff has been spread, but that's again mainly due to the time we are currently weeping in... Venlo - January was quite useless to see, but hopefully the next month will attract more people. /JS POSSIBLE HIGHLIGHTS OF 1989...
SEVEN HONEST ANSWERS FROM THE FLEET OF X-RAY
THE BACKGROUND STORY FROM THE RADWAR V2 PARTY... Last time the comic, this time the story! Well it's some good time ago, but I think that nobody forgot that party yet!! I'm talking about that RADWAR V2 party that took place on December 17th '88. Yo, it was around 9 when the heat was on... Groups like IKARI, DCS, STRIKE FORCE, TWG, BROS and many others were drinking and dancing. Outside at some more quiet place the German TV station WDR was interviewing crackers (most of them were really pissed, so I guess they won't show that on TV). Inside some German music band called "The Art Commando" was giving their best. THE FLEET of X-RAY was spreading his self-made liquor, which tasted brilliant... hic! Mainly the boys from IKARI (JUST ICE and TRI-DOS, at the time still in IKARI) and MR.SULU from DCS were given several drinks for free... TRI-DOS was given a lot of Vodkas! And then it happened that TRI-DOS destroyed some glasses. He also wanted to leave the place together with STRIKE FORCE as they said "Goodbye TRI-DOS!" - he must have understood something else. MR.SULU was dancing some kind of POGO, but the DJ didn't play "THE SMITHS". The climax was then the so-called travesty show live on stage. Boys were disguised as girls (really professional!) and RADWAR also climbed on the stage - three beautiful women dancing their feet off. After dancing up to 3 in the morning, we wondered where TRI-DOS was! Finally we found him standing outside in the cold, he layed against a wall and was puking. Hum, the disco then offered people to sleep there and the rest walked around or drove home. In this bad condition TRI-DOS surely does not remember that he was almost killed by the programmer of HAWKEYE for cracking it... but it was fun! And we hope for more soon! /JEFFIE! hic.. RADWAR PARTY... V3! Yet they do not have a concrete date for it, but it will be in the summer holidays at Heinsberg - West Germany. Some arrangements have been made though, some of which are...
THE SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS... DOCTOR MILLER! Every good magazine has it's letter clergyman - so do we! Because you can come up with any problem, any question and any advice for DOCTOR MILLER! Feel free to write to him this very day. Contact him at: DOCTOR MILLER, PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX K╓LN X, WEST GERMANY. Every letter is welcome, and most of them will be published in each issue from now on. So if there is anything that pisses you off, makes you crazy, makes you getting an orgasm, you won't give a shit to? - WE DO! Contact Dr.Miller, the life-saver this very day! ...and (almost) all problems will be removed at once... /DOCTOR MILLER NEW THINGS FROM... SYSTEM FOUR! Hehe, I was close to the edge of success, I thought, though my chances were 1:1,000,000,000! Of course I probably lost again, but I don't know for sure. First I had to wait some weeks, then I couldn't look at it. But it doesn't make me commit suicide (yet), so I go back to my old SYSTEM FOUR friends... Bad news I get to know, some meeting by some "s"-class boys has been interrupted by enemy forces... Hoh, some friend of mine almost shitted his trousers, he felt afraid. Well I kept a cold head, and continued as usual. YET no problems! Our foundation is doing very well it's job and, due to some bad situation, we have a big success. I anyway, felt pretty sick the other day and went to the doctor. Good pal, the doctor, 'cause he said I should spend the whole week at home. Ha! Time to think about everything. New ideas save the country, well I have to admit I wasn't satisfied with myself, but it was a good try, wasn't it? I don't give a damn about what those people say, they kick you up, they kick you down, they hurt you everyday... It takes years to find the truth, beside yourself, not depend on anyone... I spent a great week, and then it snows! Great I thought, put my sunglasses on and walked to the school. The place of all my shame! I shook my head, when I saw that girl again... I can't explain the feeling, but it's not bad. Still I can't win. Am I born to lose? Haha, probably I tried to explain everything to her, but still she seems not to see my true ego. I just can't stop thinking and thinking, but whatever I do, it doesn't become a success. I think I could write her a letter, but I feel so unsafe. But that week gave me much of my strength back. I talked four hours to some guy that was almost bitten by a dog, I heard some other very good "a"-class friend not giving up, and I talked to the old boys. Retirement doesn't seem that bad to me after all. I admire those guys who were escape from SYSTEM FOUR, and start a new life. I can't go and say farewell to everyone. I'll never can... probably until the enemy forces come and kill me, or until some good-looking girl arrives and takes me away on her wings... hehe... I admit that I was wrong. It took me far too long, in two years everybody will have forgotten me, I'm sure... Back to that girl, is anyone out there who could help me? I'm almost sure that she doesn't have a boyfriend, so that's not the problem. I need a shave, I think and I never know... Why can't that year go on the way it started? It's some wet evening, I drank too much, but I feel pretty strong, strong enough to write her a letter... on the other day, I still thought it was a dream, I gave the letter over to her... Will this mean another big loss in the series of Ian Curtis moments or will this be the first won match this season? At least, nothing in this world can touch the music that I hear when I woke up this morning... Will she reply, and how? TO BE CONTINUED? /JEFF SMART 10 POSSIBILITIES OF HOW TO HIDE YOUR ADRESS BOOK CLEVERLY You all know the problems: The cops are coming and are taking everything away! We tell you how to hide your adress book, so your friends can sleep safer...
GOGO BROWN... AT THE CARNIVAL! Well time has already come for me to say farewell to ya... I'm leaving the scene for about 6 months from now on. As a last thing I'd like to tell ya; What are your pirates wearing for the carnival? Carnival is a big fancy dress-ball for everyone, and I'm telling you this time how your friends are secretly dressing up for it... (in A-Z order)
PIRATE FANZINES REVIEWED Well it came to my ears that "GAME ON", which belongs to MAGIC DISK 64 reviewed in their last issue different pirate magazines. I found very interesting that "NEWS" was given the fewest points, your "ILLEGAL" was set on #2, but the best pirate magazine was "SMASHER". Not only that this was really annoying, because every serious person would come to the conclusion that "SMASHER" is not more than just toiletpaper in sheets! But guess who wrote the article? Yes, some guy who is working for "SMASHER" and of course he would have a material interest in selling their shit! Next month, we from "ILLEGAL" are going to make a fair ranking of all magazines appearing (e.g. "IGUANA", "NEWS", "PIRATES", etc...) /JS IS THE AMIGA ORIGINAL OF "ELITE" BUGGED? News came that FIREBIRD is going to take all sold copies of ELITE on the Amiga back, because they found out that it is bugged on the original! The bug does not really become obvious, but it made a lot of people wondering why the hell they could never reach the "ELITE" ranking, though they mastered every special mission (there are five) and played more than 100 hours... Quite a shame, isn't it? /JS ILLEGAL... BACK ISSUES! Finally you can order the backnumbers of your pirate fanzine ILLEGAL.. What do you have to do for it? It's very easy, you just have to send 2DM or one 3.5" Amiga disk for each issue you'd like to get, another 2DM or another Amiga disk for postage, and a self-adressed envelope. An example: You want to have THREE backnumbers, then you have to send us 8DM or 2 Amiga disks plus a S.A.E. Feel free to ask us if you have any questions about it. OK then, here goes a survey of all issues you can order (plus the current one of course) and the highlights of each...
HOB-HOBBIT'S BIT Crackin' Comic #6 will soon be released, so catch the only thing FAIRLIGHT is releasing at the moment (haha). I'm getting software from my best friends, and I'm not sending back, 'coz I said I'd only send FAIRLIGHT stuff. So the only thing you could see arriving from me is a new disk-cover or a Crackin' Comic. Sorry, I hope it'll get better soon. Some cool Hob-Hob's to all lamers (haha) in FAIRLIGHT, JEFF SMART, ELITE, JUST ICE of IKARI, RADIX and SIDE of HOTLINE, BAM BAM of BROS, MR.SULU of DCS, BAMIGA SECTOR 1, TRANSCOM and EURATOM, and all the rest I forgot... /HOBBIT OF FAIRLIGHT VIDEO REVIEWS Acieeed! Hello freaks, and welcome to another "Video Reviews". This time I shall be looking at Colors and Twins - the new Schwarzenegger movie. With so many new movies out on video, I have picked up two of the best available...
VIDEO CHARTS
C64 GAME REVIEWS
AMIGA GAME REVIEWS
CHARTS - FEBRUARY 1989
C64 chart comments: Look at the new C64 cracker charts, and you'll find some interesting things. For the second time in ILLEGAL history, a German group reached the top position (BEASTIE BOYS in November 1987 were the first). ELITE did it with an average of 8.04 points. IKARI dropped from #1 after staying there for four months, DCS didn't get up to #1 this month but are strong enough to have another try next month. The biggest surprise comes from Austria; X-RAY jumped from #10 to #5, and they really deserved it! They follow the old TRIAD standards with excellent trainers and short versions. FAIRLIGHT stays in top 10 with big luck. HOTLINE was only 0.195 points behind. Welcome back to ZENITH! Next month more... /JS
ILLEGAL © by JEFF SMART
Co-Editors & Contributors:
LAZER / NBB, EXCELL / IKARI, THE FLEET / X-RAY, F.C., EVIL EDDIE, GOGO BROWN, PGI, ZOFF / MOVERS, NOSAH / DCS, HOBBIT / FAIRLIGHT
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