ILLEGAL Issue #24
Released on January 9th 1988 - Circulation: 750

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typed in and presented
http://www.fairlight.org
by courtesy of FairLight
We wish all our friends a successful 1988!
...and many new and good games!
/THE "ILLEGAL" TEAM

CHANGES FOR 1988...

As you can see, and many of you will appreciate it, we decided to put more English into your ILLEGAL, just because we are not longer national, but international and lots of our friends wrote:

-"...Thanx for the ILLEGAL, it was cool! (even though we can't read German)"

...and we noticed that we had to change something quickly. So the ILLEGAL is more English than German now. We hope you like it, if not or if you have any comment only let us know. Yours, /THE ILLEGAL TEAM

HEADING TO NUMBER 25!

Yep, it's true! The next ILLEGAL will be the 25th one that I release from its beginning in January 1986. Almost everything has changed. The 1st one had a circulation of 10 copies and now about 750 copies are spread (I'm sure there are more), but it was, if one compares the standard, nothing to today's ILLEGAL co-produced by RADWAR, COMMANDO FRONTIER and TRIANGLE. Even the language has changed, you notice that? I'll try to put the next issue totally in English but think of all the Germans who can't speak English, that's a problem, cause most of the ILLEGAL is spread in Germany of course.

I have to thank PHOTONY from COOL COMBO (in my town) for lending me his computer, because without his help you wouldn't hold this ILLEGAL in your hands. My computer fucked off last night when I was writing articles, that's a problem but not an unsolveable one for JEFF SMART, eh? OK, almost unsolveable. I phoned MAD ALL for an hour from PHOTONY's home (you'll wonder 'bout your telephone bill) and had a real cool talk, hadn't we Allan?

Special thanx for this issue are going to: MR.PINGE from TRIAD and MAD ALL from CFR for sending their articles by express (you don't have to do that, but I thank you!), GENESIS*PROJECTS for the frontpage drawing (even though I got another one from TRIANGLE (thanx), which was unfortunately too small...), my small printer for printing, my fingers for writing, the SIGMA CREW for phoning to give some news about their competition - just for fun from home without being in a conference or so (you must have a nice bill, Paul!), all the guys who supported me with news and rumours and good ideas, VELTINS PILS for their product, without it I wouldn't have been in the right mood to write (you know what I mean) and everyone else who feels responsible for the ILLEGAL. Of course also to all spreaders of this mag, especially to MAD ALL and the new German one YANKEE.

Hey BKA from RADWAR, I'm still waiting for your articles for this issue. I hope they come tomorrow, 'cause I can't wait any longer. By the way: all guys have to send the articles for the forthcoming issue before the 3rd of February '88! Please do this, or I can't guarantee to get them published in the next ILLEGAL! This is very IMPORTANT, OK!?

Yep, at the end of this week, everyone's coming to the RADWAR PARTY, even FAIRLIGHT from Sweden and some guys from Denmark, as I know TRITON TECHNOLOGY. We are all hoping for TRIAD to come. HOTLINE and all Dutch ones are there and of course the German elite, even the old stars like DYNAMIC DUO, FLASH and so on. But we'll know better in the next issue, when I tell you which group I joined (got some hot offers). LATER ON! /JEFF SMART

NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION!

YOHO! That's my new part, it was former "Neues von der Front" and now as you see above "News from the Inner Section" where I gathered all information about you, your friends, your foes and everything else. Let's begin:

  • RAW DEAL INC. is searching for NEW MEMBERS! All interested guys shall write immediately to: RDI, P.O. Box XX, XXXX Bjorkelangen, Norway!
  • After FANTASY'S DEATH, MCS and his SORCERERS went back to FCS. FANTASY gave TSM all his modules to continue freezing. The main reason for giving away his computer equipment was his girlfriend GABI. And how do the women thank you, when you show them that you prefer them in front of a computer? They run away with another boy like GABI did. Poor Daniel!
  • Message to TSM+MCS / FANTASY: I think Daniel will wonder about his telephone bill when he gets it.
  • IKARI IS ONLY ABLE TO FREEZE? All programs were freezed with FREEZE MACHINE! That's bad guys! Now one understands that IKARI wasn't able to release a multi-load game yet. More facts about that in the forthcoming ILLEGAL No.25.
  • By the way, FCS is planning their next copyparty on the 5th of March 1988. Will that party be another success? Let's wait and see.
  • LUKULLUS (ex-FCS) joined THE WANDERER GROUP. He's another heavy damage to the sinking FCS-ship.
  • Yep, and NEW IMPORTS join probably FCS or they start a new group together with THE DARKNESS.
  • THE DEADLY FRIENDS in Norway now consist of: LAFFEN, GEIR both ex-RAW DEAL and HUMAN (ex-CFR). They fight a war against COCO's ACE, especially against the ex-GUARDIANS INC., now FIRKIN.
  • MR.ZER0PAGE, DETONATOR and RUB / TWG are going to fly to the USA in their summer-holidays - just for fun. Maybe they visit MARCEL (real FAC) and AVE (TRIANON?)!? I can only scream: Wait! Take me with you!
  • JEFF SMART left THE FANATIC DUO and will probably quit swapping, but not without joining another real famous group.
  • DAVE from THE WARRIORS, who are a member of SPG, quit his career on the 64 to enter the world on the Atari ST.
  • AMIGO from THE CONNECTION (Amiga) lost. The police whished him a happy new year in the software prison.
  • SCOOTER who was formerly (in the stone age) a TFD member isn't that any more. He was thrown out, 'cause of his rinkleface and his stupidity. He changed his name into HARDCORE and this says all.
Every month I'll try to publish a funny excerpt out of a conference. This time: TAG (Dave + Chris) + JS

DC: -"What's up, Jeff?"
JS: -"My dick."
DC: -"Then not much is up."
JS: -"Hey, you haven't seen my dick yet."
DC: -"Send me a photo."
JS: -"A photo is too small for my dick!"

MAD ALL'S MAILBOX

  • What a lucky guy SWYX of TRIANGLE is, he's just got a FREE American modem from a Yank. The only thing he has to do is to upload now and then. Some guys have all the luck.
  • CCS who seem to get in a heavier war with TLS as each day passes have changed their name into FUSION.
  • Well, well, well, what a visit to the PCW show can amount to is amazing, MAD 69, composer of suburbia among other jewels has landed himself a job with a software firm, coz he took his musix and blasted it at everyone.
  • There seems to be a real black market these days in our scene, exclusive utility programmes that are for private use only seem to be available with certain people who will remain nameless. Hot items seem to be Rockmonitor 5 by USA-TEAM and TMC's music editor available against the wishes of the authors.
  • Does IKARI live in a softwareshop? One could get that impression all right. Last month they have been releasing 10 games a week, must be nice living in England.
  • Jeff Smart is seriously thinking 'bout putting a lot more English pages into the ILLEGAL. Sounds reasonable, after all Germans can read English, but most pirates can't read Goete's language, so get your claims to put more English in and write it to JEFF.
  • IKARI's visit to the continent was a great success, when they arrived at Venlo they almost got mugged by everyone who wanted to meet 'em, some guys even asked them to sign their sportbags. And they enjoyed Venlo so much that they promised me to come every two months and PAL, who was missed by some, wants to join them (NIK & JUST ICE) next time.
  • RADWAR's party seems to come along pretty well, lots of guys are said to come, but the big question will be if pirates can dance!? Read the next ILLEGAL for a full report.
  • With the arrival of Arkanoid on the Amiga, the wait for arcade conversions seems to be coming to an end, coinsiding with the launch of the Amiga 1000, back in the stoneages, there were some arcade conversions released, but then there was a 9 month wait for another decent conversion. Let's hope we don't have to wait another 6 months for something else.
  • After people told that our X-MAS DISK was a quite great success, we will eventually bring out an EASTER DISK, too.
Well, this is the end of yet another mailbox, let the gossip come, just write in and let us know, we do not care who you are. If your gossip is good and trustworthy, I will print it and give you a special mention... Watch this space. Yours sincerely /MAD ALL of CFR

JEFF SMART LEFT TFD!

OK, if you heard it or not, I'll tell you again that I left THE FANATIC DUO, because in my opinion everything depended only on me and then came the school (the following year is very important for me), so I quit TFD and I'll quit even swapping with most of my friends. But my friends will get a personal letter, as they used to get such letters from me.

But before you start asking: what about ILLEGAL, JEFF? I tell you that I keep going on producing it, of course. Well, I'm thinking about joining a real famous group, but I'm not sure, because the problem that I can't live without getting brand new stuff, but I'll tell you the final development of me in the next issue, that's promised (and you know I keep all my promises - almost).

OK, other things now... Heard about that weekend when BRIAN of TFD and me stayed at RADWAR's place together with MR.ZEROPAGE, when we went to the disco La Quinta, where the RWE-Party takes place and BRIAN's eclipse? (hehe) The thing was that BRIAN drank too much beer (in fact it wasn't so much, but he can't bear a lot) and you imagine what we had fun with BRIAN who vomits in MWS' house. But you'll read about that in English in the next issue, cause I really decided to put the ILLEGAL totally into English. I'm not sure whether this works, but you'll see it anyway. Well, I'm waiting for some comments about my English (that's the main problem for keeping the whole magazine in English), 'cause I think it has to be improved, eh?

But please write how you like your ILLEGAL more? In English like all the pirates do, or in German like Germans do? Of course it's better to write it in English, 'coz more guys understand English than German, don't they? But the next ILLEGAL comes as surely as Impossible Mission II from Epyx. Now we are expecting cold winter months with not much games and much boredom. See you at all big parties! Yours.. /JS

HELLO TO ALL FRIENDS!

You know, even though I left THE FANATIC DUO, I'll keep on writing the ILLEGAL as before, of course, but I don't know if I'll swap in future. But I'll tell you at once if I'm sure. Here are the greetings for this month - big hellos to:

MR.PINGE from almighty TRIAD (cool sticker on the last letter), CF + ACCEPT of BEASTIE BOYS, DAVE + CHRIS from THE AWESOME GUYS, HOTLINE's SLEDGEHAMMER, THE still WANDERING RUB and SPC, IAN from conFUSION, old LAFFEN from THE DEADLY FRIENDS, SWYX of TRIANGLE, JAYCE from DCU (R U still waiting?), RADWAR SURPRISES, MR.ZEROPAGE, (hugh!), RUN from SCOUSE (happy new year!), SOLDIERS AGAINST PROTECTION 2:1, IKARI warriors NIK and JUST ICE, DRS & COCO of ACE, SCOOPing TMC, all German exams passing MAD ALL from CFR, the rest of FCS (Halbeins, Ihr Idioten), THE DARK DARKNESS, TWR from SRG, RAW DEAL INC., THE flying SHARKS, GENESIS*PROJECTS, SIGMA-CREW (what 'bout some conferences), detonating DETONATOR, OLD IMPORTS, FAIRLIGHT's GOLLUM, THE TARTAN ARMY (Scottie - beam me over), TSK, TAU, DN-CREW, ROBIN HOOD (HA!) and all I've forgotten here. /JS

BEING BLACKLISTED, WHAT'S GOING ON!?

Most of you know about conferences and the joy late night phoning brings, not only can you talk to Americans who have never anything to say, but you can also talk to your swapfriends in Europe for hours without ever having to pay a funkilling phonebill. Some groups even arrange exclusive conferences with only their members on it, a sort of a general meeting to discuss future plans. But now the sad part! The American telephone company who runs the conference system is called Alliance. Not to be confused with the American pirate group, and of course Alliance knows that American hackers are calling for free, or freaking, as it's called. For months they have tried to stop the hackers, but no success!

So now these so called "telephone executives" have decided to handle it differently, instead of stopping the callers, they are stopping the Europeans of being called. They let their computers check which lines in Europe are called more than normal and these numbers get a security check on them, they get blacklisted as they enjoy conferences anymore, but also for the people that are on the conferences when it crashes 'coz then the conference has to be put up again. They've only been using this method for a short time, but already the guys that get called a lot got blacklisted, among these are HUMAN of TDF, MAD ALL of CFR, ROCKY + DSH of FAC, BRIAN of TFD...

But all is not lost, people that are blacklisted can still get added to the conference if the operator is using 3-way, and the rumour has spread that the blacklisting is only temporary, DSH and MAD ALL are on conferences again so let's just hope that if they blacklist you that it's only for a short time, because these cold winter nights are lonely without a regular confie. Written by /MAD ALL of CFR

RUMORS OF THE MONTH (can be true or false, eh?)

  • Word spread that JEFF SMART was caught by the police, but he's still acting as before...
  • Word spread that the same guy gave up swapping, because he fears a war with DSI - THAT'S WRONG!
  • Word spread that HANSEATIC CRACKING ASSOCIATION made a demo different to all their others before. Before they made demos with a simple Koala-picture, a simple Soundmonitor-sound and a simple scroll text on the top of the screen. Now they changed their demos totally: they consist now of a simple Koala-picture, a simple Soundmonitor-sound and a simple scroll text on the BOTTOM of the screen. - THAT'S TRUE!
  • Word spread that those guys who didn't show up at TRIAD & FAIRLIGHT's copyparty have died a horrible death in India. - THAT'S WRONG, isn't it!?
  • Word spread that RADWAR employs some doctors to keep all the drunken guys at their party on the 9th of January alive. - THAT'S TRUE, eh!?
  • Word spread that NEW EDITION was angry 'cause they believe in being number one in Germany. - THAT'S TRUE!
  • Word spread that US Gold released OutRun II already. - THAT'S ABSOLUTE FUCKING RUBBISH! You lamer!
  • Word spread that the post invented a new sticker for all Mega-Hyper-Super-Special-Extrafast-Sendinx! - THAT'S RUBBISH, TOO, because this sticker was invented by MR.PINGE from TRIAD to persuade the lamers at the postoffice to send his letter faster and it has worked!
With all the best whishes JEFF SMART!

INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH: RADWAR OF THE LIGHT CIRCLE

In the neverending series (no, not DALLAS) I interviewed this month MWS from RWE. Here are the answers (not always serious to my questions):

  • Who does belong to RADWAR?
    We are: MWS (19 years), AVH (18), BKA (18), TC (18) and DEF (21)
  • Who invented the name?
    It was me and FLASH on the phone at the end of 1985.
  • What were your first products?
    We invented the "Border Sprites" as the first together with FLASH in FCG and our 1st crack was Neverending Story (for RWE), we cracked more games for FCG.
  • Which computers do you own?
    I personally only a 64, but the others all have an Amiga.
  • What happened to you in Munich?
    I want to send many greetings to the guys who spread the rumours that I was in the Dutch Army or emigrated to USA or had to pay 100.000 DM. I was sitting the whole time on my girlfriend. Thanx to BKA and AVH for keeping this secret, and special thanx to JAN of YETI and mother for the fine food and Jan's sister for the hot adventure evenings.
  • What was the reason for starting again after the break?
    The rumours about me were totally going on my nerves, so I decided to keep on computing, the first game I cracked after that period was Nosferatu and AVH finished his "Interlace".
  • Do you have any war?
    No, we are a friendly group but WILL from HOTLINE will get a special Christmas present from RADWAR SURPRISES.
  • What is your favourite music, game and movie?
    Music: Depeche Mode & New Order
    Game: Beachhead
    Movie: "Dirndljagd auf dem Huhnerhof"
  • What do you do in your freetime?
    TC cares about his girlfriend, his Amiga and his car. AVH cares about his school career, me, Amiga / 64 and his Taekwondo Club. DEF is working at the post office and he bought a color-printer for his Amiga to print naked photos of his girlfriend. BKA is always worried about not formatting his Lode Runner-disk otherwise his father will be angry. If I'm not working on the 64 I am dancing a lot, I often crack jokes on the telephone, kill my little brother and shape my girlfriend.
OK, thanx for the interview! See you at the RADWAR party! Next ILLEGAL will present you with an interview with our crackers of the year: TRIAD (MR.PINGE & JANITOR) /JS

THE VENLO-MEETING ON 19.12.87

Hey! Those Venlo meetings become more and more famous. They became so famous that I was there for the first time and it wasn't the last time. I went together with almost the whole RADWAR crew, MR.ZEROPAGE and BRIAN to the school where the part started at 11 o'clock in the morning. The room was overcrowded, about 250 guys were there, and it was (if one looks at the names of the guys who showed up) one of the best parties ever held.

First of all BRIAN sat down with TMC from SCOOP and both programmed like hell. I talked a lot to my very good friend MAD ALL from the Belgian coast, who brought along with him (and that was the sensation for Venlo) two guys from IKARI, who travelled over from England just to come to Venlo. As you can imagine JUST ICE and NIK were asked from every Dutch lamer (and there were quite a lot of 'em) to swap with them: -"SWAP WITH ME. I AM VERY GOOD WITH SOFTWARE!"... Hah, but they stayed cool.

Of course, I talked to SLEDGEHAMMER from HOTLINE, my old friend. A complete (?) list: SOFTRUNNER GROUP, CFR, HOTLINE (of course), IKARI, RADWAR, FCS, TWG (RUB - the duck + SPC), even COCO from ACE, SCOOP, KGB, the real FAC and so on. I guess you already heard about that thing with DSI and me (JEFF SMART)!? I knocked Marcel from DSI (unfortunately RenΘ, this sucker, wasn't there) down with a hit on his nose so that he had to leave this room for a short time, to go and stop the bleeding from his nose.

Message to REN╔ of DSI: If we meet again, you'll die! So be very very careful of what you say, or you won't be able to say or do anything anymore!! Do you understand!?

There was quite good stuff for the Amiga, too. WILL from HOTLINE, was sitting on Backlash like chief Sitting Bull himself and didn't want to give it out. Everyone was angry! Imagine of the speed: JANITOR cracked Bangkok Knights on 17.12.87 and we had it two days later. An express sending from Sweden takes normally three or four days. The solution: FAC imported it through modem from the USA who got 1 day before from TRIAD through modem. That's what I call: technological development!

At four o'clock the thing was over, much too soon, the party was much too short for a real party. Everyone was satisfied, the small Dutch kids, who had new stuff, the bigger kids, who met their idols and the biggest kids, who met their good friends from thousand conferences. MZP bought Flying Shark from IKARI to crack it alone at home, because there was too much trouble as we know that from crackers in Bonn (guess who?), but there was no chance, trying to crack, when 20 kids are standing around you and crying: -"Do it, I want that game!". We're waiting for the next Venlo party! /JS

THE TRIAD/FAIRLIGHT COPYPARTY FROM THE 18-21 DEC. '87

A short survey of this great event was brought to all of you who didn't show up here by MR.PINGE from TRIAD.

Yes, the party started on the 18th of Dec, and we were expecting a lot of people but unfortunately everyone didn't show up.'cause many didn't have the money to travel the long way to Sweden. Maybe the party was arranged at the wrong time, near Christmas, and a lot of other parties around.

Well, anyway, there were about 180 guys at the party but there were a lot of Swedish lamers too. Here are some of the groups that attended the party:

TRIANGLE (the cool demomakers from Denmark), THE PAPILLONS (the fast crackers, also from Denmark), ZETREX (ex-WIZAX), 2000 AD (another cool Danish group), DOMINATORS (also from Denmark), PUREBYTE (the old legend from Finland), THE SHADOWS (Norway) and some more groups, plus a lot of Swedish groups, and of course TRIAD and FAIRLIGHT!!!!!!

You see, not so many famous groups, but we had a real fun time anyway. The party was held in a big school in Huddinge, near Stockholm. TRIANGLE should have released their demo-competition-disk at the party, but everything wasn't finished, soI hope they will release it very soon. Triad has also made a part for that competition, so watch out!

A lot of people were busy cracking a lot of games at the party, and we, TRIAD and FAIRLIGHT, had as usual a real competition about who cracked the fastest. Some groups also made some demos there, and some of us watched movies as well. We and FAIRLIGHT even transferred some cracks to the USA by modem using the school's telephone lines! As you notice, we had a real nice time there. A problem for me was that I left the party one day before the party ended, 'coz the people I was travelling with needed to go back home, so I can't tell you about the last day of the party. But I am sure that it was a cool day too!

So to all of you who didn't show up: DON'T MISS A PARTY FROM TRIAD AND FAIRLIGHT AGAIN, 'coz there is always something cool happening there! Bye, and thanx for reading this article! Signed /MR.PINGE of TRIAD

HELLO DUDES! (TRIANGLE SPEAKS)

This is SWYX from TRIANGLE. Since we seem to be a very popular group at the moment, I'd better write something about ourselves this time!

We are getting letters in which we're asked: "Do you wanna trade with me" almost every day. (I think many of you big guys out there have the same problems, right?) Well, some of these letters are from quite famous groups, but most of them are from smaller groups, also known as LAMERS! I'm the one who daily goes to open our postbox and I'm gonna be tired of getting all those lamer-letters, coz all of them write something like this: "If ya don't wanna swap with me, then please return my discs"!

But how can I? It would cost me a fortune to return all those discs again! We simply can't afford to send back all of 'em. So read this carefully: those who aren't worth trading with, will not have their discs back a second time! I can name a few guys who wrote us lately and either have got our response or will get it very soon: THE WANDERER GROUP, THE SHARKS, THE SIGMA CREW etc.. We see these guys as cool and famous so of course we want to trade with them. Well, enough about letters, just a little note to all the "disc-supplying" guys: THANX!

And now something sad... I have decided to stop swapping, 'cos I'm too busy and it's too expensive! The only groups I'm going to trade with in the future are: RADWAR / THE LIGHT CIRCLE, TRIAD (IXION!) and THE FANATIC DUO (long live the brotherhood!)

The rest will be contacted by the other swapper in Triangle, SCRATCH, very soon! We might get a new member, who will trade as well very soon. So we can keep all our contacts and even get som new! What am I going to do in the future then? Well, things like cracking, writing for this great magazine and working on the game, CHIX and I has planned to do! And of course concentrate more on school! (My teachers are gonna love me!) I wanna leave ya all now, but before I say GOODBYE, a few notes to some people:

  • OSI / FAC: No more trading. Don't fuck my good friend JEFF SMART or anybody else in TFD.
  • HOTLINE: Please contact us, we wanna trade with you!
  • IXION / TRIAD: Thanx for a great party, hope to see ya soon, dude!
And, dear audience, don't forget to vote for our "DEMO OF THE YEAR", you have time until 22nd of January 1987 (one vote per group) and keep in mind that not only the winning group will get a price, but one of the audience too, who will be selected randomly. First people have liked TRIAD, DEXION, TFD and even ours the best, but you'll see the final rankings soon.

That's it! See you in the next issue, where I'll write a longer and much more interesting article than this time! You'll see my adress on the last page, so don't hesitate - write! GOODBYE says SWYX of TRIANGLE

AND NOW... THE WEATHER BROADCAST!

Lads and Gents, you have to expect in the following heavy down falling of Isepic because temperatures will fall below the Freeze-Frame-Point. Mainly in the zeropage one has to expect slight falling of zerobytes, so better buy a speeding system. In the ranking list Munich is leading with 9 cracks without module, followed from Cologne with 5 cracks.

And now the traffic outlooks: Be very careful! On Track 18 a 23rd Read Error comes upon you. On the 9th of January: 30 kilometres traffic jam near Heinsberg because of a party. And now we continue our night sessions with music from... /MWS of CRM CREW & JS

COMPETITION 1987

Are you frustrated about the ILLEGAL - rankings from 1987, then watch out for the SIGMA CREW's demo to take part in their competition for 1987, where everyone can win prices, not only the winners. Even those who take part in it! You have one vote per group and the last day you can vote is the 29th of February 1988.

You can vote for: the best cracking group, the best demo creator, the most popular group, the most disliked group, the best group's history (write SIGMA about your group's history), the conference king, the best graphic artist, the best musician, the most successful newcomer in 1987, and last and best over all group! So WATCH FOR THE DEMO FROM SIGMA, NAMED SIMPLY "COMPETITION" AND GIVE YOUR VOTE! /JS

RIDDLE OF THE MONTH!

And again another "Riddle of the Month". The solution from the last month was: "CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!"

And this time it's... Try to find it on your own! Here are the docs for the "Riddle of the Month": Search for the words among this labyrinth of letters. They can be found forwards, up, down, backwards and even diagonal!

If you have found all words, check the characters which are left. Print them down from left-top up to right-bottom and then you found the solution. Good luck!

YDDADLAWYERM
MNOFUATHIEFU
AOGRRMUMCUPG
NSUCKERUSERG
DWYRRRESEDOE
NASAOULZRWGR
EPICLELEEERE
IPVKELDRNRAC
RERESOLRNDMA
FRORCHTIIUMF
SHITHEADWDEY
NYODESIGNERB
MEMBERTOIDIA
URMIWANKERNB
RINKLEFACEDS
SEARCH FOR
ARSEHOLE
BABYFACE
CODER
CRACKER
DADDY
DESIGNER
DUDE
FREEZER
FRIEND
GUY
IDIOT
LAMER
LAWYER
LOSER
MAN
MEMBER
MUM
PROGRAMMER
RINKLEFACE
SHITHEAD
SON
SUCKER
SWAPPER
THIEF
USER
WANKER
WINNER

BUY OR DIE?!?

Many guys are wondering about those arselicking wankers who wrote to you and order you to buy software for silly high prices aren't you? And many guys are wondering about this EAGLESOFT in the Netherlands (?), who have advertisements in famous computermagazines, even in Germany. They promise you the newest American stuff for only 8 German Marks per disks, that's about less than 4 USD. But do we really need stuff from ESI? Don't we get everything faster through the modem? I bet we're all faster than those guys.

What has MITCH done to let those lamers join his group? Here's the adress of them which can be found in almost every computer magazine: EAGLESOFT INC., P.O. Box XXX, XXXX AR Sittard, Holland.

Perhaps MITCH doesn't know about that, so please tell him that when if you talk to him, OK? When you look down, you find a German letter from idiots, called "Software Club" who wrote to SEVEN UP in order to sell games for 4 German Marks per game, but when you study the games on their list, you can only laugh: "A"utRun!? You laugh louder when you hear that this list represents their up-to-date games from the 16th of December '88. You fall down because of too much laughing when you recognize up to 15 mistakes in writing, I bet this is a 12 year old boy, who thinks he's the boss and can sell his "great" games to become a rich sucker. So let these guys burn in hell, eh? /JS

C64 GAME REVIEWS

We also offer the game reviews now in English, isn't that good? All reviews by me, JEFFIE! Let's begin:

  • FLYING SHARK from FIREBIRD: It's one of the best games released from Firebird in ages. A cool and great conversion from the Taito arcade version with big motivation. Watch out for a High Score from MZP. 90 pts
  • CHAMONIX CHALLENGE from INFOGRAMES: Infogrames, notorious for their shit adventures surprised everyone with their mountain climbing simulation which is really super, even the graphics. The programmes haven't forgot any detail of a real climber. 92 pts
  • BANGKOK KNIGHTS from SYSTEM 3: The long wait wasn't quite worthwhile, 'cause the game offers nothing new to the players, except very large sprites, but always the same like IK + and so on. The worst Robb Hubbard sound in many months. Disappointing! 83 pts
  • SIDEWALK from INFOGRAMES: Another big surprise from the French company, who begins to reach today's standard. It's a very funny game about a hidden motor bicycle. 87 pts
  • RAMPAGE from ACTIVISION: Well, it's not bad, it was converted quite good and one can accept it. 85 pts
  • HUNTER'S MOON from THALAMUS: Another game from Thalamus, which deals, of course, about a spaceship. Without docs. 81 pts
  • STRIKE FLEET from LUCASFILMS: the follow up to PHM Pegasus, the same game type, the same good graphics and the same challenge without an instruction file. 86 pts
  • MAD BALLS from OCEAN: Same game like Bounder. Jumping with a ball and kicking off other balls, but nevertheless I like it because of its funny sprite and a funny titlesound (FG). 84 pts
  • OUTRUN from US GOLD: Frustrating graphics, but one was in fear of that. But it's faster than one thought it to be, only a bit frustrating. 76 pts
  • GARFIELD from THE EDGE: With very good animations and fine graphics, but a lousy game. 81 pts
  • DEFLEKTOR from GREMLIN GRAPHICS: A new game idea! That's always brilliant. It's quite difficult to destroy all balls with a laser, but it's quite good. 83 pts
  • COSMIC CAUSEWAY from GREMLIN GRAPHICS: The follow up to Trailblazer, one likes it, one likes it not, it's now more a shoot-them-up than a move-and-jump. It lost of its playability because of only a one player option. 80 pts
  • WWF WRESTLING: Nice idea, a wrestling with digitized graphics, but a very shhitty joystick-movement. 65 pts
  • ROLLERBOARD from 1001: Nice graphics , but it looks very similar to Kikstart as you have to drive and jump on mountains etc. 76 pts
  • GAUNTLET II from US GOLD: If one only looks to the game you see no differences to "Gauntlet I", do you? Does US Gold have a Gauntlet-Editor or what? 73 pts
  • SKYFOX 2 from ELECTRONIC ARTS: Another follow-up, this time you fly and shoot your enemies in the space, really fine graphics but too difficult. 78 pts
  • KNIGHTMARE from ACTIVISION: Well, another adventure with pure joystick movement. It's graphics are good but the game is hard to solve. 81 pts
  • DISCOVERY from CRL: Nice shoot'em-up with many games within the game. 79 pts
  • MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE from GREMLIN GRAPHICS: It looks like Gauntlet, but with better graphix but please not another He-Man game, 3 are enuff! 75 pts
  • INSIDE OUTING from THE EDGE: It looks like the old Spectrum games like The Great Escape, but it's the first in color. This makes such games interesting. 79 pts
  • PSYCHO SOLDIER from OCEAN: The follow-up to sucking Athena, but it doesn't look bad. It's much better. 69 pts
  • BONE CRUNCHER: Funny game, even though not the best graphics. 68 pts
  • RAINBOW DRAGON: Old game & idea, new programmed, nothing special. 61 pts
  • DRILLER from ACTIVISION: Slow, Elite-like game with vector-graphix. 58 pts
  • DEJA VU: Adventure coming from the Amiga, on which it's better. 62 pts
  • ANDY CAPP: Funny, even though the graphix suck. 59 pts
  • I ALIEN: Yep! Another shoot'em-up on platforms, quite funny. 64 pts
  • OUT OF THIS WORLD: It's from MASTERTRONIC. Not much to say. 43 pts
  • HUNT FOR THE RED OCTOBER: Well, it looks quite interesting, but it cannot beat Silent Service at all. 66 pts
  • SUPER G-MAN: Oh dear! Another old game idea, more of a "simple" G-Man. 39 pts
  • GALACTIC GAMES: What did ACTIVISION do? We expect now the worst for Super Hang-On. Galactic Games is nothing. Shitty graphix, shitty joystick movements, but nice sprites. 18 pts
  • LAWN TENNIS from MASTERTRONIC: It's unplayable even though the graphic are done very well. 31 pts
  • FRUIT MACHINE: What shall I write about this? It looks sad, so is the Score: 20 pts
  • ASTERIX, BLUE BERRY and LUCKY LUKE: To the company: Please do not give out any other games like that! They are absolutely fucking rubbish: ASTERIX: 12, BLUE BERRY: 7 and LUCKY LUKE: 3 pts only!
  • DEAD OR ALIVE: It looks damned like High Moon but it's too slow. 23 pts
  • JACK THE RIPPER from CRL: What do you think about textadventure with (-out? -ed) an instruction book? Yes, the same as I do, with a nice titlepic only. 25 pts
  • EYE GAME: What shall I do with a bad English question and answer game? 10 pts
  • TRAPDOOR 2: I hope that PIRANHA doesn't believe their greatest success and make another follow-up, it's SHIT! 4 pts
  • 720 DEGREES: Every word is too much for this shit. 1 pts
  • FORTRESS UNDERGROUND: It sucks: Score: NIL!

CHARTS - JANUARY 1988

C64 GAMES C64 CRACKERS
 1. COMBAT SCHOOL            (1)
 2. FLYING SHARK             (-)
 3. SKATE OR DIE!            (2)
 4. CHAMONIX CHALLENGE       (-)
 5. BANGKOK KNIGHTS          (-)
 6. INTERNATIONAL KARATE+    (3)
 7. SIDEWALK                 (-)
 8. RAMPAGE                  (-)
 9. HUNTER'S MOON            (-)
10. MADBALLS                 (-)
 1. TRIAD                    (4)
 2. BEASTIE BOYS             (1)
 3. IKARI                    (3)
 4. FAIRLIGHT                (6)
 5. THE WANDERER GROUP       (5)
 6. HOTLINE                  (2)
 7. FANTASY CRACKING SERVICE (8)
 8. ACE                      (-)
 9. FUSION                   (-)
10. THE DEADLY FRIENDS       (-)
C64 DEMOS
 1. DEMO OF THE YEAR            
     by TRIANGLE                
 2. CHRISTMAS DISK              
     by COMMANDOFRONTIER        

Chart Comments: DEMO OF THE YEAR was a compilation demo by TRIANGLE which contained demos from several groups, for example: TRIAD, FAIRLIGHT, DEXION, BEASTIE BOYS, TFD, 2000 AD and others... The CHRISTMAS DISK from COMMANDOFRONTIER was released at the Venlo party with much success. CFR announced they might make a follow-up this Easter with an EASTER DISK! Cool!

Thanx for voting to: BEASTIE BOYS (CF), HOTLINE (SLH), RADWAR ENTERPRISES (MWS), CFR (MAD ALL), TRIAD (MR.PINGE), DCU (JAYCE), THE FALCONS, SAP (ACU), FANATIC DUO and all others!

SPECIAL FEATURE: THE BIGGEST HIGHLIGHTS FROM GOOD OLD 1987!

C64 GAMES C64 CRACKERS
 1. DESTROYER             158pts
 2. DEFENDER OF THE CROWN 131   
 3. THE LAST NINJA        128   
 4. DELTA                 122   
 5. PIRATES               119   
 6. CALIFORNIA GAMES      115   
 7. HYPABALL              114   
 8. KRAKOUT               103   
 9. ARKANOID               97   
10. LEADERBOARD            92   
11. CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING 91   
12. WORLD GAMES            89   
13. WIZBALL                86   
14. GREEN BERET            85   
15. WEST BANK              78   
 1. TRIAD                  70pts
 2. HOTLINE                61   
 3. BEASTIE BOYS           38   
 4. TEESIDE CR. SERVICE    35   
 5. FAIRLIGHT              32   
 6. SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP  27   
 7. RAW DEAL INC.          20   
 8. EAGLESOFT              18   
 9. UNTOUCHABLE CR. FORCE  17   
10. FANTASY CR. SERVICE    14   
                                
  In the country ranks, Sweden  
 won with 102 pts, followed by: 
 Germany (71) and England (70). 
BEST COIN-OP CONVERSION BEST SIMULATION
 1. COMBAT SCHOOL        /KONAMI
 2. FLYING SHARK       /FIREBIRD
 3. SOLOMON'S KEY      /THE EDGE
 1. PIRATES          /MICROPROSE
 2. GUNSHIP          /MICROPROSE
 3. TEST DRIVE         /ACCOLADE
BEST SPORT SIMULATION BEST FIGHTING SIMULATION
 1. CALIFORNIA GAMES       /EPYX
 2. SKATE OR DIE!            /EA
 3. STREET SPORTS BASKETBAL/EPYX
 1. THE LAST NINJA     /SYSTEM 3
 2. INTERNAT. KARATE+  /SYSTEM 3
BEST SURPRISE BEST NEW IDEA/CONCEPT
 1. SKATE OR DIE!            /EA
 2. DEFENDER OF THE CROWN       
                     /CINEMAWARE
 3. CHAMONIX CHALLENG/INFOGRAMES
 1. QUEDEX             /THALAMUS
 2. ACCOLADE COMICS    /ACCOLADE
 3. MANIAC MANSION    /LUCASFILM
BEST MOVIE CONVERSION BEST GRAPHIC ADVENTURE
 1. SUPER ALIENS     /ACTIVISION
 1. GUILD OF THIEVES            
               /MAGNETIC SCROLLS
BEST GRAPHICS BEST SHOOT'EM-UP
 1. DEF. OF THE CROWN/CINEMAWARE
 2. WESTERN GAMES  /MICROPARTNER
 3. TEST DRIVE         /ACCOLADE
 1. DELTA              /THALAMUS
 2. LEVIATHAN  /ENGLISH SOFTWARE
 3. FLYING SHARK       /FIREBIRD
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS ABSOLUTE WORST GAMES
 1. 720 DEGREES         /US GOLD
 2. TOP GUN               /OCEAN
 3. GALACTIC GAMES   /ACTIVISION
 1. HEAD KARATE                 
 2. INTERGALACTIC CAGE MATCH    
 3. ATHENA                      
 4. BLOCK'N BUBBLES             
 5. JACKLE AND WIDE             
BEST SOFTWARE COMPANIES
 1. EPYX                     (1)
 2. OCEAN                    (3)
 3. GREMLIN GRAPHICS         (-)
 4. THALAMUS                (10)
 5. SYSTEM 3                 (5)
 6. ELITE                    (-)
 7. CINEMAWARE               (-)
 8. MICROPROSE              (12)
 9. ACCOLADE                (15)
10. ODIN                     (7)
11. ACCESS                   (2)
12. ACTIVISION               (-)
13. THE EDGE                 (-)
14. CRL                      (-)
15. MARTECH                  (-)
16. ENGLISH SOFTWARE         (-)
17. MAGNETIC SCROLLS         (-)
18. MICROPARTNER             (-)
19. CASCADE                  (-)
20. LUCASFILMS               (-)

IMPRESSUM

ILLEGAL © by JEFF SMART
Issue #24 - Released on January 9th 1988 - Circulation: 750
Editor-in-Chief: JEFF SMART/TFD of TWGI 3003

Co-Editors & Contributors: BKA/RADWAR/TLC, MAD ALL/COMMANDOFRONTIER, SWYX/TRIANGLE 3532, MR.PINGE/TRIAD, THE AWESOME GUYS, CO3, DCU, HOTLINE
Typed in by: KING FISHER of TRIAD
Preview of Issue #25: Interview with JANITOR of TRIAD * Report from RADWAR's party
Comments: Hi, folks! We'll release the 25th ILLEGAL at the 8th of February 1988. We wish a successful climbing in all ranking-lists for '88! On the bottom of this page you'll find the adresses of the ILLEGAL-team. So if you have any questions concerning any subject - write us! Try to make out a trip to Bonn on the 5th of March 1988 to attend the second FCS copyparty and we'll see you there! Whishing you the best... /MAD ALL, SWYX, MR.PINGE & JEFF
Address: ILLEGAL, PLK XXXXXX X, XXXX XXXXXXX, West Germany

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