JokesButha SunhousnaughtyèÒ) §jV± ‚ 4 ùýJokesùýý "How is your wife," asked Zalither. "She's in bed withlaryngitis," replied Harlyth. "Is that Argonian bastardback in town again?"öý "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." "Have you seen ahealer?" "No, just spots."ý A big Nord named Julgen was set on by a gang of thieves. Hefought them furiously, but in the end, they beat him intosemiconsciousness. They searched his pockets and discoveredthat he only had three gold pieces on him. "Do you mean to tell us you fought us like a mad lupe forthree lousy gold pieces?" sneered one of the thieves. "No," answered Julgen. "I was afraid you were after thefour hundred gold pieces in my boot."ý During the War of Betony, the Bretons in the Isle of Cragholdwere under siege for several days. After the island wasliberated, Lord Bridwell found the ruins of the castle whereöa crowd of survivors were hidden away in the dark. It wasgoing to be a difficult job freeing them, as part of theroof had collapsed trapping them all within. Bridwellstuck his head in the only opening and shouted to the Bretonsbelow: "Are there any expectant mothers down there?" "It's hard to say, your Lordship," said a young woman."We've only been down here for a few days."ý An elderly Breton met with an contemporary of his at aguild meeting. "Harryston, old man, I wanted to express mysympathy. I hear that you buried your wife last week." "Had to, old boy," replied Harryston. "Dead, you know."ý Why was the Sentinel army so useless during the War ofBetony? The cannons were too heavy, so all three garbagescows sunk.öý What does a new Sentinel private learn first as a combattechnique? How to retreat.ý What is the thinnest book in the world? Redguard Heroes of theWar of Betony.ý A Dark Elf man killed his wife after catching her making lovewith another man. When the magistrate asked him why he killedher instead of her lover, the man replied, "I considered itbetter to kill one woman than a different man every week."ý A Dark Elf woman was being shown around Daggerfall. When shewas shown the magnificent Castle Daggerfall, she smiledsweetly to her guild and whispered, "It reminds me of sex."ö "That's odd," said her guild. "Why does our CastleDaggerfall remind you of sex?" The Dark Elf sighed, "Everything does."ý Yelithah told Vathysah that she was having dinner with a DarkElf named Morleth that night. "I hear he's an animal," said Vathysah. "He'll rip yourdress right off you." "Thank you for telling me," said Yelithah, "I'll be sure towear an old dress."ý How do separate sailors in the Khajiiti navy? With a hammerand tongs.ö "This orchard has sentimental value to me," said Mojhad, theKhajiit, to his friend, Hasillid. "Under that tree, forexample, is where I first made love. And that tree, is whereher mother stood, watching us." "She watched you while you made love to her daughter?" saidHasillid, clearly impressed. "Didn't she say anything?" "Meow."ý What do you call a Wood Elf who doesn't lie or cheat orsteal? A dead Wood Elf.ö ö