As featured on the Discovery Channel's CyberLife show!
Disclaimer: Miss Walker wishes to clarify that she & her associates never "fire up the Big N" during office hours for anything other than work-related purposes, and it is because of waiting until their spare time that they lack redeeming social lives like the people on Friends.
Bringing The Internet To Your Workplace:
If you are lucky enough to have access to the Internet from work, you should, of course, encourage your employer to let you use it for job-related purposes. Show your boss how educational and informative the Internet is (removing the Penthouse link from your Bookmarks list first) with a demonstration of informational sites like the Smithsonian or Travels With Samantha. If that doesn't work, try the Dilbert page.
Introductory Goofing Off:
If you are using Netscape, it is a good idea to keep "auto load images" turned off under the Preferences menu. Not only will this allow Netscape to load faster, enabling you to view them when you wish, but it will look more like a document and less blatant.
Advanced Cruising:
Mac users will be thrilled to know that holding down the Option key & clicking the mouse on the background (i.e., near the trash can) once will make Netscape hide! Non-Mac users, of course, deserve to be caught and should immediately whine to their boss to change systems. Another tactic is to look puzzled or annoyed as you stare at the screen, deep in thought.
Intermediate Addictiveness:
For hardcore work avoiders, we recommend changing Netscape's background to white. This is done by choosing Preferences from the Options menu. Under "Fonts & Colors" you will see a Background selection at the bottom. Click the "custom" button, then click once in the box beside it. That will take you to a colour selection page, where you will see what looks like a belt on the bottom. Slide the belt buckle all the way over to the right, changing the colour in the ball to white, then click OK. This will make your backgrounds white! (Of course, you can select any colour this way.) After you have done this, click "Always Use Mine" at the top of that section.
Hints From Our Friends:
From Lexi:
When interrupted, act irritated... as though what I was doing was very important and "do you MIND?!"
From Jerome in France:
He changes his computer's IP address on a regular basis, so his Internet usage is not easily traced. We are glad we are not this boy's supervisors!
Go into your boss's office periodically and discuss "work"; install a mirror on your monitor; blame it on Windows 95 (it somehow put you into Netscape); tell your boss over and over again how "relaxed and less stressful" the atmosphere feels around the office since internet access.
From Ashley Wakeman:
Windows users can hold down ALT and hit TAB to cycle through open
applications. Having Netscape and a word processor open at the same time is
not a problem.
Get a really cheap mail account with popmail access. This avoids any
confusion between work and personal e-mail.
Be Network Administrator :) (You can create new users with stupid names and
send people abusive e-mails. Then you delete the users and return mail bounces. Fun, fun, fun.
Want to see more? Visit Digiday for our calendar, "How to Avoid Work @ Work". Submit your ideas, & they may be included in the calendar!
