With the possible exceptions of the "X Games" and "Battle of the Network Stars," the "Skins Game" holds the title of "worst made-for-television sporting event." This contrived athletic competition pits four golfers╤selected only for marketability and popularity╤against each other in a meaningless game of "high stakes" golf.

Instead of the chance to see a few Gen-Xers falling to their deaths in a tragic sky-bowling accident, or at least the possibility of seeing Cheryl Tiegs in a skimpy outfit, the "Skins Game" gives us four golfers halfheartedly slugging it out for tip money. It's a holiday, so you'd think they'd at least throw Mark O'Meara off a mountain or put Paul Azinger in some hot pants, but it's just a straight golf game with the unfathomably wealthy "battling" for thousands of dollars.

Like "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" with Donald Trump and Steve Forbes sitting opposite Regis, the "Skins Game" offers less dramatic tension than an episode of "Veronica's Closet." At best, it's "Celebrity Jeopardy" without the possibility of getting to laugh at someone with a lot more money than you because they don't know the capital of Louisiana.

It's doubtful that America collectively holds its breath when Tiger Woods steps up to attempt a four-foot putt, which if he sinks it, makes him $32,000 richer. While that might be a lot of money for average folks whose largest golf bet involved a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon, it wouldn't pay Tiger's cell phone bill for a week.

It's hard to imagine anyone getting excited over the dramatic lifestyle changes Tiger would undergo should he win that massive prize. It's not like all that extra cash would let his family finally stop worrying about making ends meet. If we're lucky, he'd spend it hiring an army of caddies to carry his caddy around, and maybe get a putter made of moon rock. Or if he was bored, or there was a party at Moomba that night, he'd just throw it on the pile along with his other millions.

Even the basic premise of the event╤the all-or-nothing aspect of the game where the players try to win "skins" worth thousands of dollars╤has a hollow ring to it. Money might be riding on each shot, but it's a pittance compared to the guaranteed appearance fees each player pockets just for showing up. You're already rich, and they're giving you a couple hundred thousand for the privilege of having you play in the tournament. Win or lose, you still live in a fabulous mansion in a world where, despite your odd taste in clothes and peculiar looks, nubile 18-year-old models beg you to sleep with them.

I'm sure some sense of professional pride keeps these guys from showing up drunk or from seeing if they can reach the green only using one hand, but that's not enough to make me tune in. If I wanted to see four annoying rich people waste time on television, I'd watch "The View."