Now when I was young and my figure was sleek.
Memories
I had a different gal every night of the week.
And each gal knew for certain which was her
day,
You see their names were Sandy, Mandy,
Trudy, Wendy, Fergie,
Heidi and Sally-May.
And when people ask me why I never married,
Why I never took a wife. One of my own that
is!
I tell them it's because I have been in love
with screen stars all my life.
When our padre asked me, "Now can you name
the five disciples, my son?"
I said, "Well I sure can, they're Mathew,
Mark, Olivia Newton-John." You see,
I'm fond o' Jane Fonda, but who's Jane Fonda
me?
I'm mad on a lady called Madonna, but Madonna
ain't mad on me.
I'm ready for Helen Reddy, hell I'm ready
as I'm ever gonna be,
And if I could see more of Jane Seymour, I'd
let Jane see more of me.
And there's a lot to see.
I'd like to run away with Faye Dunaway, to
a little Rosanne Barr and down some beers. Before Shelley Long, Kirstie
Alley'd come along, we'd all lift up our glasses and say, "Cheers!" I'd
let Gloria Gainer a little bit of weight, as we'd picnic in some Donna
Summer place. And if I got my burly chassis Glenn Close to Shirley Bassey,
would she Tina turn away or slap my face?
I could love Betty Boo, love Judy Christie
too, loved I not Mary Tyler Moore? If
I met Kim Bassinger I know I'd end up chasing her along some sandy Dinah
Shore, I could go Kim Wild for Morgan Fairchild, Dr. Ruth could show me
how to treat her right. We could work for Doris Day and when it's time
for play we'd smile and say, "We're Gladys Knight."
I'd take Brooke Shields to a Sally Field where
cool Joan Rivers flow.
On a velvet cushion there'd be Kate Bush and
she'd sing sweet and low.
For that nice Sam Fox I'd gladly box Mike
Tyson's mama,
And then I'd start on Dolly Parton and then
take on Bananarama.
I could do it but of course I would be great
to Farah Fawcett, ask me over on her phone. If I was with Segourney Weaver,
well I could never leave her behind alone. But if Kate and Alley refused
to get pally, though I'd bring 'em Minnie Pearls, Well as I said goodbye,
they would hear me sigh, "Thank Linda Evans for golden girls," Don't you
just love 'em?
"Thank Linda Evans for those gorgeous golden
girls." |
