Now it was Christmas Day in the jailhouse,
the old man sat in his cell,
"Put out your pudding, for treacle," he heard
the warden yell,
"If you want treacle on your pudding, put
it out without delay."
The old man put out his pudding, and the warden
took it away.
What a world, what a world, what a place, what
a place
Ain't you glad you're a member of the human
race.
Now the folksinger came from America to sing
at the Albert Hall,
He sang his songs of protest and fairer shares
for all,
He sang how the poor were much too poor and
the rich too rich by far,
Then he drove back to his penthouse in his
brand new Rolls Royce car.
What a world, what a world, what a place, what
a place
Ain't you glad you're a member of the human
race.
Now Annie's a shorthand typist working for
the B.B.C.,
Her brother Jackie's in prison doing three
years for forgery,
Her sister Josie's in Holloway, in Dockmoor
is her Uncle Jim,
And her dad runs a pirate radio ship, but
she never talks about him.
What a world, what a world, what a place,
what a place
Ain't you glad you're a member of the human
race.
Now three old maids had a she-cat, kept her
indoors night and day,
Kept her away from the he-cats, thought she'd
like it better that way,
Then one old maid went and got married, the
next morning she hastened to write, A note to the others which simply said,
"Let kitty out tonight."
What a world, what a world, what a place, what
a place
Ain't you glad you're a member of the human
race.
Now the button was pressed, the world destroyed
leaving just one solitary man, And at the top of the Empire State Building
his lonely existance began,
But his loneliness was too much so he jumped
and he fell like a bird with one wing, And as he passed the seventh floor,
he heard the telephone ring.
What a world, what a world, what a place,
what a place
Ain't you glad you're a member of the human
race. |
