Director's Cut
Last uploaded: October 28, 1998

Will you take this web site as your wife?

I'm baaaaack!!!

Yes, after more than a month's absence, I've returned to the place I like to call my second home, Director's Cut. The warmness that surrounds me now is all from Widgett, he-who-shall-remain-under-the-protection-of- pseudonym, who took care of this space for four weeks. During that time I got married, had a wonderful honeymoon, took some time off from the day job and the night jobs and read a lot of scripts. God, it was wonderful being able to roll out of bed, look at the clock and realize you didn't have to go anywhere except the washroom and the fridge. (sigh)

Of course, it was plainly obvious George Lucas knew I was getting married on September 26th and so decided to make his move. You want to tell me why else the official Star Wars Episode One web site announces the subtitle The Phantom Menace the day before I get married?? Because it was timed, I tell you. You think I'm elevating the importance I place upon Coming Attractions waaaay above where it actually is?? I think not, dear friends! Ever since I sent George an invitation and received no reply, I had a strange feeling something was coming down the pipeline. Look, I still think the prequel should have stuck with its original subtitle -- I Know What You Did a Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away -- but this sneaky 'announce-it-on-the-net' when I'm as unplugged as I can be clinches it. George -- you may have gotten away with it for the first flick, but I've got your number for prequel #2. Does, oh, I dunno....The Warbling Dread Sith Pirate Skywalker mean anything to you, George??

Anyway, it's back to work. I've been puttering around the studio for a couple of weeks now, watching Widgett and Deadpool post up the scoops and trying to keep an eye on them to make sure they're doing a whiz-bang job. Haven't they? (gestures to Widge and DP) Please, a round of applause to the duo. They were the ones that were dishing out the details while I took my vows. Without these two you'd be subjected no updates save the one's my new wife would permit for My Best Friend's Wedding, and that's just 'cuz she allowed me to write updates for just that picture. You think posting pictures of Godzilla earns the wrath of studios or the flames of the netizens? Try sneaking in an update when you're supposed to be on honeymoon. You'll soon see what I mean.

As for the wedding itself, everything ran smoothly. The reception was a blast, although I didn't get much time to actually dance and try out that damn alcoholic punch since everyone I knew was spending 5 minutes chatting with me. The wedding presents were great, but there's one I'm trying to get scanned in and posted so I can share it with you on DC. Describing it would do the gift a severe injustice, but let me said that it does involve the movies and my wedding and I've never seen quite anything like it before. I will say this, though: the likeness of me in the gift does me justice. If all goes well, I'll soon have it scanned in and I'll post it on a future ish of Director's Cut. It's the coolest gift I got at my wedding, and it came from my brand-spanking new mother-in-law to boot. (Well, the second coolest gift had to be the deckchair from the set of Titanic, but that's still a runner-up...)

I also appeared in an issue of Entertainment Weekly at the beginning of this month. The good people at EW did a write-up of my site and who exactly is behind it. They even did a photoshoot for it, and a cool enough photo ran with the piece. Needless to say, I tried laying it on heavy with my wife, trying to make her accept the fact she's married a celebrity. Of course, our luxurious one-bedroom hole of an apartment (with a scenic view overlooking our next-door neighbor, who bears a remarkable resemblence to a certain young Washington D.C. former White House intern) speaks for itself: it's only a matter of time before the inevitable star on the Hollywood walk of fame, baby! Yeah!

Next ish I'll be back at it, dishing out the latest and greatest about Hollywood's secrets. Right now, there's the world-exclusive pictures of the first Star Wars Episode One action figure awaying your retinas, as well as test screening reviews of the latest Hugh Grant/Julia Roberts' film (Notting Hill), juicy rumors about the storyline of Mike Myers' Scooby Doo, and a synopsis of the latest draft of Superman Lives. Coming up next time on Director's Cut: a review of a script so secret most people in Hollywood don't know about it yet -- The Bacchae. Think of it as the Greek myths written by Quentin Tarantino if he lived during William Shakespeare's period in history. With a whole lotta nekkid chicks. Yowza.

Patrick Sauriol
Creator, Chief Content Writer & Director
Coming Attractions

Got some neato items from the shoot? Parking passes, photos from the set?? Poster images, or the latest hot script making the rounds???
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Send them to our mailing address:

Coming Attractions
7971 Burnfield Crescent
Burnaby, B.C., CANADA
V5E 2B8

FAX: (604) 517-4405

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Previous issues of Director's Cut are also available.