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DRUGS FOR WOMEN D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding You of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they Moved out. ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers Unconscious for up to two days. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed Before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and Prevents conception. D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and The urge to flip off other drivers. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such Lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. " BUYAGRA Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, Duration, and credit limit of spending spree. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, Anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same Irritation level as nagging him.
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