NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN


 




D  A M N I T O L

Take  2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
 hours.  




 


E  M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that  eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
You of how awful they  were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they
Moved out.





 



ST.
 M  O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract  that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
Unconscious for up to two days.





P  E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
Before an evening out  increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
Prevents conception.  





 

D  U M B E R O L
When  taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
In enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.





 



F  L I P I T O R

Increases life  expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
The urge to flip off other drivers.





M  E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
Lethal lines  as, "You make me want to be a better person. "





BUYAGRA

Injectible  stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
Duration, and credit limit of spending spree.





J  A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache  caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
Anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.





A  N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A  spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
To share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.





N  A G A M E N T

When  administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
Irritation level as nagging him.