Rick Moen's .signature archive
Archivist's Note: This archive is riddled with technical in-jokes, and
you're on your own for most, but one should be explained: The Usenet
group "alt.sysadmin.recovery", source of some quotations below, is also
denoted by the abbreviations "a.s.r." and "ASR", as "Scary Devil Monastery"
(an anagram variant), and by extension as simply "The Monastery".
I've also provided explanations for some of the others. (For the
remainder, you can figure them out with not much effort. Or maybe
for you they're just not funny, or You Had to Be There.)
The annotation 'McQ! (4x80)' is a nod to the McQuary Limit -- named for George
McQuary -- the Internet-courtesy rule of thumb about .signature blocks whose
gist is: Kindly manage to be witty without exceeding four 80-column lines,
or prepare to be mocked mercilessly on alt.fan.warlord and elsewhere.
Another key part of the Internet .signature block standard (for .signature
blocks at the bottom of e-mails and Usenet netnews articles, which is what
these are) is the required leading delimiter: two flush-left hyphens
followed by a space character and a hard return. Each entry below starts
with that delimiter.
--
Cheers, A post is just a post
Rick Moen My admin will deny.
rick@linuxmafia.com The usual disclaimers apply
McQ! (4x80) As news spools by.
--
Cheers, DISCLAIMER: I didn't do it.
Rick Moen You can't prove it. Nobody
rick@linuxmafia.com saw me. The sheep are lying.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The X11 approach to device independence is
Rick Moen to treat everything like a MicroVAX on acid.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Don Hopkins, _The UNIX Hater's Handbook_
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "The only good goth is a shoggoth...."
Rick Moen -- Alistair J.R. Young, in r.a.sf.w.r-j
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, (Regarding "In God we trust":) "Don't ask me how you set the
Rick Moen trust-level of a god." "At a PGP signing party?"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Per Leijonhufvud & Peter de Silva, in ASR
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "You have acquired a scroll entitled 'irk gleknow mizk'(n).--More--
Rick Moen This is an IBM Manual scroll.--More__
rick@linuxmafia.com You are permanently confused." -- ADOM (a roguelike game)
McQ! (4x80)
--
This message falsely claims to have been scanned for viruses with F-Secure
Anti-Virus for Microsoft Exchange and to have been found clean.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "A Discordian is a Taoist with a very strange sense of humour
Rick Moen and the inability to sit still."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Rabbi Kwan Chi Sun Lieberwitz, _Jews for Buddha Cabal_
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Evolution: Life's a niche, and then you die.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Not only does the English language borrow from other languages,
Rick Moen it sometimes chases them through dark alleys, hits them over the
rick@linuxmafia.com head, and goes through their pockets." -- Eddy Peter
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "This is mad, egotistical, sick, twisted, and stretches the bounds of
Rick Moen good taste right off the tongue, past the uvula, and down around
rick@linuxmafia.com the duodenum. It has other merits, but that should
McQ! (4x80) indicate positive interest." -- The Cube, http://www.forum3000.org/
--
Cheers, "Normal? Normal is a setting on my dryer."
Rick Moen -- heard at BayCon 2001, http://www.baycon.org/
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Facta tua Restitueri ad Status Pristinus Eius.
Rick Moen (May your data be restored to
rick@linuxmafia.com its original pristine condition.)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Quantum materiae materietur marmota
Rick Moen monax si marmota possit materiari?
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Learning Java has been a slow and tortuous process for me. Every
Rick Moen few minutes, I start screaming 'No, you fools!' and have to go
rick@linuxmafia.com read something from _Structure and Interpretation of
McQ! (4x80) Computer Programs_ to de-stress." -- The Cube, www.forum3000.org
--
"Is it not the beauty of an asynchronous form of discussion that one can go and
make cups of tea, floss the cat, fluff the geraniums, open the kitchen window
and scream out it with operatic force, volume, and decorum, and then return to
the vexed glowing letters calmer of mind and soul?" -- The Cube, forum3000.org
--
Cheers, I have a mind like a steel trap.
Rick Moen Rusty, and illegal in thirty-seven states.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Orthodoxy is my doxy. Heterodoxy is someone else's doxy."
Rick Moen -- William Warburton, Bishop of Gloucester (1698-1779)
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "All my life, I wanted to _be_ someone. I guess I should have
Rick Moen been more specific." -- Jane Wagner
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Yes, I _am_ an agent of Satan,
Rick Moen but my duties are largely ceremonial.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "He was clearly a man of many qualities, even if most of them
Rick Moen were bad ones." -- Douglas Adams, describing Zaphod Beeblebrox
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Get the facts first. You can distort them later."
Rick Moen -- Mark Twain
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental,
Rick Moen and should not be construed."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen YOU! Out of the gene pool.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "To summarize the summary of the summary:
Rick Moen People are a problem."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Douglas Adams
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "He who hesitates is frost."
Rick Moen -- Inuit proverb
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Where I come from, there's nothing in the 'middle of the road'
Rick Moen but a yellow line and dead armadillos."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jim Hightower, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem."
Rick Moen -- William of Ockham (attr.)
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the
shoulders of giants." (Isaac Newton) "If I have not seen as far as others, it
is because giants were standing on my shoulders." (Hal Abelson, quoting Jeff
Goll) "In computer science, we stand on each other's feet." (Brian K. Reed)
--
Cheers, Open-source SourceForge retakes the lead:
Rick Moen http://gforge.org/ Thank you, Tim Perdue.
rick@linuxmafia.com
(Archivist's Note: For context, Perdue had been the original architect
of the SourceForge codebase, which was then taken proprietary by his
employer in 2002. After he was laid off, he cleaned up the
pre-proprietary codebase and released it, as a clearly superior
alternative, renamed to "GForge" for trademark reasons. This .signature
of mine aimed to give Perdue's project a small mindshare boost. Since
that happened, the active open source version departed from the GForge
effort and is now FusionForge. N.B.: Timothy Dean Perdue succumbed to
colon cancer on September 16, 2011, aged 37.)
--
Cheers, I once successfully declined a departmental retreat,
Rick Moen saying that on that day I planned instead to advance.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Alan J. Rosenthal, in The Monastery
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, I have /usr/sbin/coffee mounted from /dev/mug right now,
Rick Moen and you can't have it. Oh no, I just tried to seek past
rick@linuxmafia.com end-of-beverage. *sigh* -- Graham Reed, in The Monastery
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Skud: Real Programmers don't use Python.
Rick Moen Thorfinn: Real Programmers don't use *whitespace*.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "My file system's got no nodes!"
Rick Moen "How does it shell?"
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen "vi is my shepherd; I shall not font."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Psalm 0.1 beta
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A: No.
Rick Moen Q: Should I include quotations after my reply?
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen This .signature intentionally left blank.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, I've been suffering death by PowerPoint, recently.
Rick Moen -- Huw Davies
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Ceterum censeo, Caldera delenda est.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing, for
Rick Moen verbing weirds language. Then, they arrival for the nouns
rick@linuxmafia.com and I speech nothing, for I no verbs. - Peter Ellis
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Wall Street has all the emotional stability of a
Rick Moen thirteen-year-old girl. -- Louis Rukeyser
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, When it comes time to hang the capitalists, they'll
Rick moen fall all over each other trying to sell us the rope.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- V.I. Lenin
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Dogs may have kept us company on the hunt, but it was
Rick Moen the cats who insisted we invent houses and discover fire.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Khiem Tran
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Accordions don't play Lady of Spain;
Rick Moen _people_ play Lady of Spain.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Ah, September, when the sysadmins turn colors
Rick Moen and fall off the trees....
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dave Van Domelen
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The other day, upon the stair,
Rick Moen I met a man who wasn't there.
rick@linuxmafia.com He wasn't there again today;
McQ! (4x80) I think he's from the CIA.
--
Cheers, * Contributing Editor, Linux Gazette *
Rick Moen -*- See the Linux Gazette in its new home: -*-
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: This .signature dates back to when SSC, Inc., the
Gazette's one-time Web host, decided it owned the periodical's name and
obliged the magazine's staff to move to a new domain hosted elsewhere.
However, please see also:
http://linuxmafia.com/~rick/faq/kicking.html#linuxgazette)
--
Cheers, "A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line, today. The results
Rick Moen blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Steel City News
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "This is Unix. Stop acting so helpless."
Rick Moen -- D.J. Bernstein
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: Since the Dan Bernstein programmer cult seem to
regard me as their special devil figure because of my posted critiques,
it seems fun to rile them up by quoting the gentleman in public.)
--
Cheers, No trees were destroyed in the sending of this message.
Rick Moen We do concede, though, that a large number of electrons
rick@linuxmafia.com were terribly inconvenienced.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, My grandparents went to a planet with no bilateral
Rick Moen symmetry, and all I got was this lousy F-shirt.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Never criticize anybody until you have walked a mile
Rick Moen in their shoes, because by that time you will be a
rick@linuxmafia.com mile away and have their shoes. -- Brian Servis
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Never anger a bard, for your name sounds funny and
Rick Moen scans to many popular songs.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Stephen Savitzky
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "< > Kernel support for JAVA binaries (obsolete) (NEW)"
Rick Moen -- Linux kernel v2.2.19 configuration
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, There are only 10 types of people in this world --
Rick Moen those who understand binary arithmetic and those who don't.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who
Rick Moen know ternary, those who don't, and those who are now
rick@linuxmafia.com looking for their dictionaries. -- Ron Fabre
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, There are 10 types of people in this world, those who know quaternary,
Rick Moen those who only recently figured out Ron Fabre's "ternary" .sig, those
McQ! (4x80) who're completely confused, and those who hate self-referential jokes.
--
Cheers, "Plus ça change...."
Rick Moen http://linuxmafia.com/~rick/pictures/1861-versus-2004.jpeg"
rick@linuxmafia.com P.S.: http://www.sorryeverybody.com/gallery/1/
McQ! (4x80)
--
Virtual Regards,
Rick Moen
Sysimperator, dominus regis deusque machinarum.
rick@linuxmafia.com
--
Cheers, Hardware: The part you kick.
Rick Moen Software: The part you boot.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Ita erat quando hic adveni.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Frater Magnus vos spectat.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Katrina's Law: Any sufficiently advanced incompetence
Rick Moen is indistinguishable from malice.
rick@linuxmafia.com (coinage attrib. to Paul Ciszek)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Due to circumstances beyond our control, we regret to
Rick Moen inform you that circumstances are beyond our control."
rick@linuxmafia.com --Paul Benoit
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Chip Salzenberg: "Usenet is not a right."
Rick Moen Edward Vielmetti: "Usenet is a right, a left, a jab,
rick@linuxmafia.com and a sharp uppercut to the jaw.
McQ! (4x80) The postman hits! You have new mail."
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Support your local medical examiner: Die strangely.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen "Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Elizabeth Tudor
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: How cool is it to quote, in an Internet .signature block,
one of the most legendary of ruling British monarchs, an unparalleled
practical politician, a keen mind, and the figure who helped make the
word 'Elizabethan' near-synomymous with 'Golden Age'? I do love living
in the future.)
--
Cheers, Now, it's time to hack the real world, and let other
Rick Moen people write Web sites about it.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Donald B. Marti
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, $n=99;sub b{"$n bottle${[s=>]}[$n==1] of beer"}
Rick Moen print$b=b, $w=' on the wall',
rick@linuxmafia.com ",$b! Take one down, pass it around, ",b($n--),"$w! "while$n
McQ! (4x80) -- Ben Okopnik
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Recedite, plebes! Gero rem Imperialem!
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Clamo, clamatis, omnes clamamus pro glace lactis.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis,
Rick Moen ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Tua mater tam antiquior ut linguam Latine loquatur.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Vah! Denuone Latine loquebar?
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will
Rick Moen annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -- Herm Albright
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "What a pity [Standard Oil exec] H. H. Rogers's money is tainted."
Rick Moen -- some commentator of the day "It's twice tainted:
rick@linuxmafia.com 'Tain't yours, and 'tain't mine." -- Mark Twain, replying.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, I have yet to see any problem, however complicated,
Rick Moen that, when you looked at it in the right way, did
rick@linuxmafia.com not become still more complicated. -- Poul Anderson
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Always remember: Clones are people two!
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The box said "Windows 95, Windows NT
Rick Moen 4.0, or better", so I installed Linux.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, For good netiquette,
Rick Moen be wise and choose a four-line
rick@linuxmafia.com .sig (haiku is good).
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, My pid is Inigo Montoya. You kill -9
Rick Moen my parent process. Prepare to vi.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, When encryption is outlawed,
Rick Moen only outlaws will xr2d3fsxd df#$%xx`
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The Viking's Reminder:
Rick Moen Pillage first, _then_ burn.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The Technical Support Credo:
Rick Moen Remember, there _are_ no stupid questions,
rick@linuxmafia.com only stupid people asking questions.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Linux: Good, fast, AND cheap.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!
Rick Moen SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!
rick@linuxmafia.com (_Nobody_ expects the Spammish Repetition!)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Everything is gone;
Rick Moen Your life's work has been destroyed.
rick@linuxmafia.com Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
McQ! (4x80) -- David Carlson (winner, haiku error message contest)
--
May those that love us love us; and those that don't love us, may
God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may
he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Heedless of grammar, they all cried 'It's him!'"
Rick Moen -- R.H. Barham, _Misadventure at Margate_
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Disclaimer -- These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w : :wq :wq!
Rick Moen ^d ^X ^? exit X Q ^C ^? :quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit
rick@linu :!QUIT ^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^vi man vi ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help
xmafia.com helpquit ^D ^d !! man help ^C ^c :e! help exit ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel
--
Cheers, "Ceterum censeo Linux propaganda est."
Rick Moen -- Seth David Schoen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I am the very model of a modern Unix sysadmin,
Rick Moen I've information relevant to programs in slash usr bin,
rick@linuxmafia.com I know the tricks of emacs and the vi bugs historical,
McQ! (4x80) From a to ZZ upper case, in order categorical." H. Hahn
--
Cheers, Higgledy-Piggledy / Kibo Ubiquitous,
Rick Moen Greps for his name in the / Happynet spool.
rick@linuxmafia.com Interdimensional / Cyberspace deity:
McQ! (4x80) Didaktyliaios / Dada is cool. -- Lewis Stiller
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen ROMANI, ITE DOMVM!
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "All power is delightful, but absolute power
Rick Moen is absolutely delightful." - Kenneth Tynan
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Linux: It is now safe to turn on your computer.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The cynics among us might say: "We laugh,
Rick Moen monkeyboys -- Linux IS the mainstream UNIX now!
rick@linuxmafia.com MuaHaHaHa!" but that would be rude. -- Jim Dennis
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Founding member of the Hyphenation Society, a grassroots-based,
Rick Moen not-for-profit, locally-owned-and-operated, cooperatively-managed,
rick@linuxmafia.com modern-American-English-usage-improvement association.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen This space for rant.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "By reading this sentence, you agree to be bound by the
Rick Moen terms of the Internet Protocol, version 4, or, at your
rick@linuxmafia.com option, any later version." -- Seth David Schoen
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Ban the Bomb.
rick@linuxmafia.com Save the world for conventional warfare.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Why, yes, _of course_ I'm an elitist.
Rick Moen Isn't everyone?
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Potestatem capite!
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Emacs is a decent operating system,
rick@linuxmafia.com but it still lacks a good text editor.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A host is a host, from coast to coast.
Rick Moen And nobody talks to a host that's close,
rick@linuxmafia.com Unless the host that isn't close is busy, hung, or dead.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I'd say it's latke-esque. Sort of like
Rick Moen Kafka-esque, only less depressing."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Deirdre Saoirse Moen
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Linux for Intel: Party like it's 2037!
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Bu^so^stopu min per kulero.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: It's an extremely colloquial phrase, rendered into
Esperanto. If you really want to know, you can look it up.)
--
Cheers, "Linux means never having to delete your love mail."
Rick Moen -- Don Marti
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: Smirking at the ILOVEYOU network worm for MS-Windows.)
--
Cheers, "The front line of defense against such sophisticated
Rick Moen viruses is a continually evolving computer operating
rick@linuxmafia.com system that attracts the efforts of eager software
McQ! (4x80) developers." -- Bill Gates
--
Cheers, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
Rick Moen It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
rick@ The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
linuxmafia.com It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
--
Cheers, If C gives you enough rope to hang yourself, then C++ gives you enough
Rick Moen to bind and gag your neighbourhood, rig the sails on a small ship,
rick@linuxmafia.com and still have enough to hang yourself from the yardarm.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "On the face of it, Microsoft complaining about the source license
Rick Moen used by Linux is like the event horizon calling the kettle black."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Adam Barr, former Microsoft Corp. programmer
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Fac me cocleario vomere.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Never ask a sysadmin "What's up?"
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Not using Microsoft products is like being a non-smoker
Rick Moen 40 or 50 years ago: You can choose not to smoke, yourself,
rick@linuxmafia.com but it's hard to avoid second-hand smoke." -- M. Tiemann
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Java is COBOL 2.0."
Rick Moen -- Deirdre Saoirse Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Censeo Toto nos in Kansa esse decisse."
Rick Moen -- D. Gale
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Right to keep and bear
Rick Moen Haiku shall not be abridged
rick@linuxmafia.com Or denied. So there.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "That scruffy beard... those suspenders... that smug ex-
Rick Moen pression.... You're one of those condescending Unix users!"
rick@linuxmafia.com "Here's a nickel, kid. Get yourself a real computer."
McQ! (4x80) -- Dilbert
--
Cheers, Bad Unabomber!
Rick Moen Blowing people all to hell.
rick@linuxmafia.com Do you take requests?
McQ! (4x80) -- Unabomber Haiku Contest, CyberLaw mailing list
--
Cheers, "Open your present...."
Rick Moen "No, you open your present...."
rick@linuxmafia.com Kaczinski Christmas.
McQ! (4x80) -- Unabomber Haiku Contest, CyberLaw mailing list
--
Cheers, "Teach a man to make fire, and he will be warm
Rick Moen for a day. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm
rick@linuxmafia.com for the rest of his life." -- John A. Hrastar
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Long ago, there lived a creature with a
Rick Moen voice like a vacuum cleaner. We know little
rick@linuxmafia.com about it, but we do know that it ate cats.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Look at Rick: He has Whitfield Diffie's key
Rick Moen and John Gilmore's brain."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Chris di Bona
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: It might ruin the surreal effect of that quotation
to provide context, but: At the time, I was in a restaurant, handling
John Gilmore's PDA for some reason, and about to drive Whitfield
Diffie's car home for him, for which reason I had Diffie's car key.)
--
Cheers, "Besides, Debian runs Web sites, Red Hat runs
Rick Moen Quake, and Windows runs Half-Life."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Bryce Kerley (on Slashdot)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Reality is not optional."
Rick Moen -- Thomas Sowell
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us
Rick Moen in trouble. It's the things we know that ain't so."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Artemus Ward (1834-67), U.S. journalist
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "There is hardly anything in the world that some man cannot make a
Rick Moen little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider
rick@linuxmafia.com price only are this man's lawful prey." - J. Ruskin (attr.)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Rehab is for quitters.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Before enlightenment, caffeine.
Rick Moen After enlightenment, caffeine.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Re-elect Gore in '08.
Rick Moen http://www.hyperorg.com/blogger/misc/gorespeech.html
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: Originally, this was the somewhat more melodic
phrase "Re-elect Gore in '04", but passage of time and loss of euphony
should not stand in the way of a good troll. It would have been good to
find a pithy way to say "What do you mean, rigged election? The man won
by a clear 5-4 majority!", but I think I missed my window of opportunity.)
--
Cheers, We write precisely We say exactly
Rick Moen Since such is our habit in How to do a thing or how
rick@linuxmafia.com Talking to machines; Every detail works.
Excerpt from Prof. Touretzky's decss-haiku.txt @ http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst
--
Cheers, Microsoft Corporation Gandhi-o-meter, revision 2001-05-03 beta01.
Rick Moen "They ignore you." "They laugh at you." "They fight you." "You win."
rick@linuxmafia.com WE ARE HERE.>> ^^^^^^^^^^
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: Wry comment on Microsoft Corporation's then-current
series of rather nasty comments about Linux and open source, against
which MS alternatives the firm's usual armamentarium had proven ineffective.)
--
Cheers, Bah humbug. Shop late.
Rick Moen Happy unChristmas.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen FORTH heart if honk then.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The genius of you Americans is that you never make
Rick Moen clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves
rick@linuxmafia.com that make us wonder at the possibility that there may be
McQ! (4x80) something to them that we are missing. --Gamel Abdel Nasser
--
Cheers, "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first
Rick Moen woman she meets, and then teams up with three complete strangers
rick@linuxmafia.com to kill again." -- Rick Polito's That TV Guy column,
McQ! (4x80) describing the movie _The Wizard of Oz_
--
Cheers, "I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate
Rick Moen those who do. And, for the people who like country music,
rick@linuxmafia.com denigrate means 'put down'." -- Bob Newhart
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Ever wonder why the _same people_
Rick Moen make up _all_ the conspiracy theories?
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, You can't lick the system -- but you can certainly
Rick Moen give it a damned good fondling....
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I used to be on the border of insanity. However, due
Rick Moen to pressing political concerns, I recently had to invade."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Kurt Montandon, in r.a.sf.w.r-j
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Cthulhu loves me, this I know; because the High Priests tell me so!
Rick Moen He won't eat me, no, not yet. He's my Elder God, dank and wet!"
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Best "In coming here today, you demonstrate, together with many others
Regards, who did not come, that the people truly desire peace and oppose
Rick M. violence. Violence erodes the basis of Israeli democracy. It must
be condemned and isolated." -- Yitzhak Rabin, 4 Nov 95 (last speech)
(Archivist's Note: In case the supreme irony is lost on people, be aware that
Prime Minister Rabin was murdered a few seconds after he made that statement.)
--
Cheers, "There's a sucker born every minute. eBay is the delivery room."
Rick Moen -- David Crowe
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "In 1993, the World-Wide Web was an infosystem based on hypertext.
Rick Moen In 1994, the World-Wide Web was an infosystem based on hype."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Lars Aronsson
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The shortest distance between two puns is a straightline.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Remember: The day after tomorrow is the third day
Rick Moen of the rest of your life.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Age, baro, fac ut gaudeam.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Don't use Outlook. Outlook is really just a security
Rick Moen hole with a small e-mail client attached to it."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Brian Trosko in r.a.sf.w.r-j
McQ! (4x80)
--
<BLINK>Resize your browser so the following line touches both margins!</BLINK>
<HR WIDTH="75%">
Best Regards, Rick Moen, rick@linuxmafia.com
--
Cheers, find / -user your -name base -print | xargs chown us:us
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, kill -9 them all.
Rick Moen Let init sort it out.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Send a policeman, and have it arrested."
Rick Moen -- Otto von Bismarck, when asked what he
rick@linuxmafia.com would do if the British Army landed.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The difference between common sense and paranoia is that common sense
Rick Moen is thinking everyone is out to get you. That's normal; they are.
rick@linuxmafia.com Paranoia is thinking they're conspiring. -- J. Kegler
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Emacs is a good operating system, but I prefer Linux.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Hi! I'm a .signature virus! Copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread.
Hi!p I'm a .signature spread virus! Copy into your ~/.signature to help me
Hilp I'm .sign turepread virus! into your ~/.signature! help me! Copy
Help I'm traped in your ~/signature help me! -- Joe Slater
--
Cheers, "Azathoth need not be present to win."
Rick Moen -- Charles O. Baucum, Jr.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "We're sorry; you have reached an imaginary number.
Rick Moen Please rotate your 'phone ninety degrees and try again."
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Live Faust, die Jung.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Please return all dogmas to their orthodox positions."
Rick Moen -- Brad Johnson, in r.a.sf.w.r-j
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"
Rick Moen -- Steven Wright
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Paranoia is the delusion that your enemies are organised.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A good man has few enemies; a ruthless man has none.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "That article and its poster have been cancelled."
Rick Moen -- David B. O'Donnel, sysadmin for America Online
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially Pictish that was attacked out of nowhere by
Rick Moen Angles cohabiting with Teutons who were done in by a drunk bunch of
rick@linux Vikings masquerading as Frenchmen who insisted they spoke Latin and
mafia.com Greek but lacked the Arabic in which to convey that. -- Bill Hammel
--
Cheers, Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel
Rick Moen sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor
rick@linuxmafia.com blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are
McQ! (4x80) yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
--
Cheers, Higgeldy Piggeldy "Phooey on Freud and his
Rick Moen Hamlet of Elsinore Psychoanalysis --
rick@linuxmafia.com Ruffled the critics by Oedipus, Schmoedipus,
McQ! (4x80) Dropping this bomb: I just loved Mom."
--
Cheers, A mosquito cried out in pain: The cause of his sorrow
Rick Moen "A chemist has poisoned my brain!" Was para-dichloro
rick@linuxmafia.com Diphenyltrichloroethane.
McQ! (4x80)
Archivist's Note: para-dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane is the insecticide
better known as "DDT".
--
Cheers, Reality and I had a fundamental difference of opinion.
Rick Moen We're currently undergoing a trial separation.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia
Rick Moen lab. I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail
rick@linuxmafia.com Gate. All these things will be lost in time, like the root
McQ! (4x80) partition last week. Time to die..." -- Peter Gutmann, a.s.r.
--
Cheers, "I prefer to think of 'fax' as a shortening of 'fac simile sed
Rick Moen longe', a Latin command meaning 'make it the same, only far away.'"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ed Hopkins
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators.... No, not when
Rick Moen the PM meets the leaders of the English-speaking nations....
rick@linuxmafia.com Yes, the English-speaking nations can be said to include the
McQ! (4x80) United States." -- Bernard Wooley, "Yes, Prime Minister"
--
Cheers, "So, how are things at the Campaign for Freedom of Information?"
Rick Moen "Sorry, I can't talk about that."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Sir Humphrey and Sir Arnold, "Yes, Prime Minister"
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Moebius strip for sale. See other side.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, .sig fault
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "The seminar on Spam Canceling has been canceled again. The
Rick Moen person who supposedly canceled it says it wasn't him."
rick@linuxmafia.com Znqr Lbhybbx, Usenet Cabal J.D. Falk jdfalk@cybernothing.org
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Cron's disease: Symptoms include an obsessive-compulsive behaviour
Rick Moen at regular intervals throughout the day, week, or month."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Clinton A. Pierce, in the scary devil monastery
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me
Rick Moen that curiosity killed the cat, I say only that the cat died nobly."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Arnold Edinborough
McQ! (4x80)
--
"Phnglui mgwlnafth Cthulhu rlyey wghnagl fthagn." "In his flat in Bromley,
drunk Cthulhu waits knitting? I think a few subtle typos may have crept into
that one." "That explains why this shoggoth I summoned is only 3mm tall."
McQ! -- Peter da Silva and Peter Gutmann, in The Monastery
--
Cheers, "I can see an opening for the Four Lusers of the Apocalypse:
Rick Moen 'I didn't change anything', 'My e-mail doesn't work',
rick@linuxmafia.com 'I can't print', and 'Is the network broken?'"
McQ! (4x80) -- Paul McAuley in the scary devil monastery
--
Cheers, "I'd hate to have a Peugeot 404. I can just see it now...
Rick Moen I'd park it somewhere, then never find it again."
rick@linuxmafia.com - Kirrily 'Skud' Robert
McQ! (4x80)
--
Superpolylogarithmic subexponential functions! / Faster than a polylog but slow-
er than exponential. / Even though they're hard to say, they're truly quintess-
ential. / Superpolylogarithmic subexponential functions! / Um diddle diddle did-
dle, um diddle ay! / Um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay! -John S. Novak, III
--
Cheers, I've been given a revelation by my e-mail spelling checker, which,
Rick Moen when I wrote "fundies," suggested that I really meant "fun dies."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Estron
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "If these walls could talk... they'd probably say 'No!
Rick Moen Not the nails again! Not the hammer! NOT THE HAMMER!!!!'"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jennifer A. Ford
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
Rick Moen has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- English Professor, Ohio University
McQ! (4x80)
--
"As someone here (I forget who) said, little incidents like this are expected.
If you have a group 'alt.fan.red-things', it's inevitable someone will show up
and say 'red things suck'." "THINGS TO DO: newgroup alt.fan.vacuum-pumps"
McQ! (4x80) -- Richard Boye' and Alistair J.R. Young, in rasfwrj
--
Cheers, "The American Republic will endure, until politicians
Rick Moen realize they can bribe the people with their own money."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Alexis de Tocqueville
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "You know, I've gone to a lot of psychics, and they've told me
Rick Moen a lot of different things, but not one of them has ever told me
rick@linuxmafia.com 'You are an undercover policewoman, here to arrest me.'"
McQ! (4x80) -- New York City undercover policewoman
--
Cheers, "History doesn't always repeat itself. Sometimes it just screams,
Rick Moen 'Why don't you listen to me?' and lets fly with a big stick."
rick@linuxmafia.com --John W. Campbell Jr.
McQ! (4x80)
--
"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted
sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there.
Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the
computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" -- Rich Jeni
--
Cheers, "Your program just attempted an illegal instruction. No worries, mate."
Rick Moen -- Australian error messages, #14 in a series
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Here, sanity ... niiiiiice sanity, come to daddy ... okay,
Rick Moen that's a good sanity ... {*THWONK!*} _Got_ the bastard."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Anthony de Boer, in The Monastery
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, there's going
Rick Moen to be one big-ass fight over where to set the thermostat.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jim Rosenberg, in The Monastery
McQ! (4x80)
--
Haiku are "IP"; Permission's hereby
Keen Unixes are, too. GNU Granted to deal in this poem
Is better, and free. Without restriction.
-- Seth David Schoen
--
Cheers, This .sig inspected by:
Rick Moen 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, This .sig inspected by:
Rick Moen 13,256,278,887,989,457,651,018,865,901,401,704,640
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: Concerning the prior two entries, please see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AACS_encryption_key_controversy.)
--
Cheers, "I want you to remember just one question, and this is it:
Rick Moen Graduates, what would you do with your life if you knew
rick@linuxmafia.com you could not fail?" -- Sen. Jackie Speier, in
McQ! (4x80) http://www.sfsu.edu/~news/2006/spring/comm06.htm#address
(Archivist's note: Longtime reformist politician Jackie Speier is one
of my personal heroes, and among other challenges she's lived through
was shot five times by People's Temple staff in the same attack that
murdered her boss, my then-Congressman Leo J. Ryan.)
--
Cheers, "Of course, NIMBYism is perfectly fine for other
Rick Moen places, but we certainly shouldn't allow it in
rick@linuxmafia.com _our_ town." -- Rick M., going meta on his $SPOUSE
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially a bizarre dialect of Chinese,
Rick Moen pronounced entirely in the first tone.
rick@linuxmafia.com --John Cowan, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially Anglo-Saxon with
Rick Moen all the cool bits taken out.
rick@linuxmafia.com --Thomas Leigh, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially an imprecise dialect of Java,
Rick Moen without the object orientation.
rick@linuxmafia.com --Julian Morrison, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially Plattdeutsch as spoken
Rick Moen by a Frisian pretending to be French.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Andreas Johansson, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, English is essentially what happens when you can't decide whether
Rick Moen the Greeks or the Romans had the better civilization, so you ask
rick@linuxmafia.com everybody they ever beat up on to sort it out.
McQ! (4x80) -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
--
Cheers, English is essentially a language in which "up" has
Rick Moen forty-seven dictionary definitions, but
rick@linuxmafia.com antidisestablishmentarianism is considered a "hard word."
McQ! (4x80) -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
--
Cheers, English is essentially a text parser's way of getting
Rick Moen faster processors built.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- John M. Ford, http://ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html
McQ! (4x80)
--
"Zees American words are too much. Zen our culture you'll wrench;
With 'le parking' 'le weekend' & such. Wiz our children we'll be out of touch."
Eef you anglicize French, -- L'Academie Francaise in a nutshell
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, To you, this thought Alot
Rick Moen I gently allot: Isnot
rick@linuxmafia.com Aword.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Your font is: Proportional Monospaced
^
Matt McIrvin's amazing Font-o-Meter!
--
Cheers, Peter G. Neumann: "Mars has been a tough target."
Rick Moen Harlan Rosenthal: "That's because the Martians keep
rick@linuxmafia.com shooting things down." RISKS Digest, v. 20, #59&60
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Mia kusenveturilo estas plena da angiloj.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Harahefet sh'eli mele'ah betzlofahim.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Tá m'árthach foluaineach lán d'eascanna.
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: All three are translations of a rather famous phrase
from a Monty Python skit -- in, respectively, Esperanto, Hebrew, and Gaelic.)
--
Cheers, Ceci n'est pas une pipe: |
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, EMACS May Alienate Clients and Supporters
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, But then voting season comes, and reminds you that all
Rick Moen those Americans that are individually sane and normal tend
rick@linuxmafia.com to be collectively crazy and very odd. -- Linus Torvalds
http://torvalds-family.blogspot.com/2008/10/stranger-in-strange-land.html
--
Cheers, "The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent."
Rick Moen --- John Maynard Keynes (attr.)
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "My generals are always right about other people's
Rick Moen wars and wrong about our own." -- LBJ
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "You do not examine legislation in light of the benefits
Rick Moen it will convey if properly administered, but in light of
rick@linuxmafia.com the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if
McQ! (4x80) improperly administered." -- LBJ
--
Cheers, "I'm sorry Dan, what's right isn't always popular,
Rick Moen and what's popular isn't always right."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- George R. Moscone, Nov. 27, 1978
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: These were the last words of San Francisco Mayor
George Moscone, just before he was murdered by Supervisor Dan White.
I had been a volunteer campaign worker in Mayor Moscone's campaign
-- and also for my congressman, Leo J. Ryan, likewise assassinated near
Jonestown, Guyana by People's Temple staff, shortly before Moscone's murder.)
--
Cheers, "There once was a man from Nantucket,
Rick Moen who lost his .sig in a bucket.
rick@linuxmafia.com Five lines was too long, / columns 80 just strong,
McQ! (4x80) so he didn't know where to tuck it." -- alt.fan.warlord
--
Cheers, Crypto lets someone say "Hi! I absolutely definitely have
Rick Moen a name somewhat like the name of a large familiar
rick@linuxmafia.com organization, and I'd like to steal your data!" and lots
McQ! (4x80) of users will say "OK, fine, whatever." -- John Levine
--
Cheers, Híggledy-pìggledy / XML programmers
Rick Moen Try to escape those / I-eighteen-N woes;
rick@linuxmafia.com Incontrovertibly / What we need more of is
McQ! (4x80) Unicode weenies and / François Yergeaus.
--
Cheers, Notice: The value of your Hofstadter's Constant
Rick Moen (the average amount of time you spend each month
rick@linuxmafia.com thinking about Hofstadter's Constant) has just
McQ! (4x80) been adjusted upwards.
--
Cheers, They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
Rick Moen They pursued it with forks and hope;
rick@linuxmafia.com They threatened its life with a railway-share;
McQ! (4x80) They charmed it with smiles and soap.
--
Rick Moen There was an old man Said with a laugh, "I
rick@linuxmafia From Peru, whose lim'ricks all Cut them in half, the pay is
.com Looked like haiku. He Much better for two."
--Emmet O'Brien
--
Rick Moen "The Internet sees your competence and wisdom as damage,
rick@linuxmafia.com and will route around it." -- Anil Dash
McQ! (4x80) http://twitter.com/anildash/status/2897466042
--
Rick Moen Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean
rick@linuxmafia.com to stand by the president or any other public official.
McQ! (4x80) -- Theodore Roosevelt
--
Rick Moen "The plural of 'Pokemon' is 'vermin.'"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Names of fictional places are capitalized:
rick@linuxmafia.com Narnia, Oz, San Francisco, etc."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use 'login' for the noun, 'log in' for the action,
rick@linuxmafia.com and 'Loggins' when you're footloose in the danger zone."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use 'verbal' to compare words with some other form of
rick@linuxmafia.com communication ('poor verbal skills'), use 'oral' to be
McQ! (4x80) more popular." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use the inverted pyramid structure for your story,
rick@linuxmafia.com as this pleases Apophis, the Egyptian god of darkness
McQ! (4x80) and chaos." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Robots should be referred to only by gender-neutral
rick@linuxmafia.com pronouns, no matter how sexy they may be."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "'Lego' is the plural. There is no singular, because
rick@linuxmafia.com what the hell can you do with only one of them?"
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The seemingly odd usage of 'ironic' in Ms. Morissette's
rick@linuxmafia.com song is due to errors during translation from the
McQ! (4x80) original Canadian." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use 'quirky' to describe potentially dangerous crazy
rick@linuxmafia.com people that you don't want to upset."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Always remember to close all parentheses. We're
rick@linuxmafia.com not paying to air condition the entire paragraph."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "If accuracy / Is what you crave /
rick@linuxmafia.com Then you should call it / Myanmar Shave."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Always capitalize 'Satan'. You don't want to get dead
rick@linuxmafia.com goats from those people." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "The correct spelling is 'Mr. T.' People who type out
rick@linuxmafia.com 'Mister' are fools to be pitied."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "While it's tempting to call them 'baristi' because of
rick@linuxmafia.com the Italian roots, the plural of 'barista' is
McQ! (4x80) 'journalism majors.'" -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "'Among' if you're in normal society; 'amongst' if you're
rick@linuxmafia.com in a period drama made by the BBC." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "If you start a sentence with an action, place the actor
rick@linuxmafia.com immediately after, or you will anger Christian Bale."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The plural of Blackberry is 'Blackberries.' The plural
rick@linuxmafia.com of Blackberry users is 'Dingleberries.'"
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The numbers one through ten should be spelled out,
rick@linuxmafia.com while numbers greater than ten are products of the
McQ! (4x80) Illuminati and should be avoided."
-- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Take note; the semicolon is never to be used correctly."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "The rules for numbers below ten do not apply to 6.
rick@linuxmafia.com He is not a number, he is a free man."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Commas are probably the most misunderstood of all
rick@linuxmafia.com punctuation. They frequently dress in black, listen
McQ! (4x80) to sad music, and cut themselves." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Avoid using 'decimate', as someone will pipe up about it
rick@linuxmafia.com meaning 'remove 1/10th of', and those people are dicks."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not abbreviate 'Maine'. They will call the newsroom
rick@linuxmafia.com and whine in that ridiculous fake accent of theirs."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "To make 'pants' singular, use a pair of scissors."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "People who spell 'voila' as 'viola' should be
rick@linuxmafia.com responded to with voilence." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "For the titles of most compositions, use quotation marks.
rick@linuxmafia.com If Bob Fosse is involved, use jazz hands."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "A 'homonym' is a nym attracted to nyms of the same sex."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "The phrase 'sources high in the administration' can give
rick@linuxmafia.com unintended connotations, depending on your readership."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Infinitives may be split only after extensive counseling,
rick@linuxmafia.com and a trial separation." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "We believe you mean 'dundant', ma'am."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Due to circumstances beyond your control,
rick@linuxmafia.com you are captain of your fate, and master of your soul."
McQ! (4x80) -- Ashleigh Brilliant
--
Rick Moen "The word 'totally' is redundant except when
rick@linuxmafia.com describing how rad something is."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not bracket nonrestrictive phrases with commas.
rick@linuxmafia.com Nonrestrictive phrases yearn to be free and feel the
McQ! (4x80) wind in their hair." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not confuse 'lyme disease' with 'lime disease',
rick@linuxmafia.com an affliction caused by over-consumption of mojitos."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Having the right word is much more satisfying than just
rick@linuxmafia.com sleeping around with any old word that comes along."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Answer rhetorical questions. They act like they don't
rick@linuxmafia.com need one, but, deep down, they do."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "And you say, 'Just a moment, I've almost finished
rick@linuxmafia.com _If on a Winter's Night a Traveler_ by Italo Calvino.'"
McQ! (4x80) -- Italo Calvino, _If on a Winter's Night a Traveler_
--
Rick Moen "Columbus, too, thought he was a flop, probably, when they
rick@linuxmafia.com sent him back in chains. Which didn't prove there was no
McQ! (4x80) America." -- Saul Bellow, _The Adventures of Augie March_
--
Rick Moen "This is the difference between this and that."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Gertrude Stein, _A Novel of Thank You_
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen this way this way this way this way this way this way this
rick@linuxmafia.com way out this
McQ! (4x80) way out
O -- Ronald Sukenick, _Out_
--
Rick Moen "Fine. The use of the passive-aggressive voice
rick@linuxmafia.com is to be discouraged. Whatever, MAN."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Passive voice is used when the receiver of an
rick@linuxmafia.com action is more important than the performer. Ex:
McQ! (4x80) Your mom was banged." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use standard abbreviations for foreign money: EUR for
rick@linuxmafia.com euros, AUD for Australian dollars, CBP for Canadian
McQ! (4x80) beaver pelts, etc." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Only three living individuals are addressed as 'the':
rick@linuxmafia.com the Batman, the Doctor, and the Erik Estrada."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "For 1-5 pizza boxes, use the suffix -heap. For 6-10,
rick@linuxmafia.com use -henge. 10+ pizza boxes is a pizziggurat."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "References to online retailer Amazon.com should always
rick@linuxmafia.com include '.com' even though they actually make money."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The suffix '-bate' means 'to lessen.'
rick@linuxmafia.com Yeah, we were surprised, too."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in
rick@linuxmafia.com rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Avoid using foreign-language phrases in your articles,
rick@linuxmafia.com unless they have a certain je ne sais quoi."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "When attributing a quotation to Paris Hilton,
rick@linuxmafia.com the preferred term is 'blame'."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The word 'axiomatic' is George Will's thing, and
rick@linuxmafia.com he will straight up cut you, if you try to use it."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Remind testy sources they shouldn't pick fights
rick@linuxmafia.com with someone who buys ink by the barrel, by throwing
McQ! (4x80) barrels of ink at them." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use 'Holy Grail' for the cup of Christ and
rick@linuxmafia.com 'holey Grail' for the strainer of Christ."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "A superscript is a script that was rocketed to
rick@linuxmafia.com Earth as an infant from its doomed homeworld."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "It is important to close all parentheses. We've
rick@linuxmafia.com all been trapped in a Mike Royko aside since 1978."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Cheers, I don't have a solution, but I
Rick Moen certainly admire the problem.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, To whom it may concern: you
Rick Moen are a very special person.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
The sight of his guests filled Lord Cray / At breakfast with horrid dismay,
So he launched off the spoons / The pits from his prunes
At their heads as they neared the buffet. -- Edward Gorey
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, If God had approved of the metric system,
Rick Moen he'd have given us ten fingers.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Living on earth may be expensive, but it
Rick Moen includes an annual free trip around the sun.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, My sources are unreliable, but their
Rick Moen information is fascinating.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, All I want is a warm bed and a
Rick Moen kind word, and unlimited power.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, what's the difference between chattr and chmod?
Rick Moen SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2;
rick@linuxmafia.com diff -u 1 2 | less
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Debian - even Hell freezes faster
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Welcome to our special issue on violence in the
Rick Moen workplace..., I mean system administration.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Don Marti, Linux Journal, Dec. 2000
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, #ifdef NOT_A_GODDAMN_YANK
Rick Moen { 0x10, "Minimise Delay" }, #else
rick@linuxmafia.com { 0x10, "Minimize Delay" }, #endif /* ipchains.c */
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Never substitute a slash for a solidus.
rick@linuxmafia.com You don't want to get letters from Victorian bankers."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any mail,
rick@linuxmafia.com And I can't recall the last time my program didn't fail;
McQ! (4x80) I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues,
I've got the: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.
--
Rick Moen "Do not use the phrase 'Jungian archetype' outside of
rick@linuxmafia.com restaurant reviews." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Subjects and verbs should always agree, even if
rick@linuxmafia.com they just agree to disagree." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Starting every sentence in your health story about
rick@linuxmafia.com conjunctivitis with a conjunction is what they call
McQ! (4x80) poeticism." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "When referring to Spider-Man, 'Web head' can now
rick@linuxmafia.com be written as 'webhead'."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not be afraid to use exclamation points
rick@linuxmafia.com in your writing. They can sense fear."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "It is no longer necessary to write new stories
rick@linuxmafia.com about Facebook privacy issues; just change the dates."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use quotation marks for all direct quotes, unless you
rick@linuxmafia.com are some kind of fancy pants, Mr. Cormac McCarthy."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "'Pop Tarts' is a trademark, and should not
rick@linuxmafia.com be used to describe generic products such as
McQ! (4x80) Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "In stories about pirates, remember the
rick@linuxmafia.com adjectival form is 'piradical'."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Omt ndlss vwls."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "ATM machine (n): Machine that makes ATMs."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Imperial units should be used only when measuring
rick@linuxmafia.com general levels of rebel scum." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "The four seasons are Spring, Summer, Winter and Fall.
rick@linuxmafia.com For California publications, change to Mudslide,
McQ! (4x80) Hillfire, Flood, and Earthquake." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "An easy way that you can save space is to edit out the
rick@linuxmafia.com overused word 'that.' That's just not a word that needs
McQ! (4x80) that much use." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "In stories about anti-war protests, distinguish
rick@linuxmafia.com participants who love peace from those who are
McQ! (4x80) just big Mercedes fans." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Use 'bologna' for the meat, 'baloney' for
rick@linuxmafia.com anything creationists say." -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "'Horrible tragedy': Use this phrasing to differentiate
rick@linuxmafia.com the described event from hilarious tragedies."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Avoid dangling participles unless referring to James Bond,
rick@linuxmafia.com in which case dangle them over shark tanks or fire pits."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Throw small projectiles at your copy editor now and
rick@linuxmafia.com then. A jumpy copy editor is an accurate copy editor."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Cheers, "One of the reasons it takes such a long time to make a picture
Rick Moen like 'Jaws' is because it's not the time it takes to take the
rick@linux take that takes the time; it's the time it takes between takes
mafia.com that takes the time that takes the takes." -- Roy Scheider
--
Rick Moen "'Rape' is a green, leafy vegetable, similar to
rick@linuxmafia.com lettuce. 'Child molestation', however, is not."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not refer to inhabitants of Lesbos as 'Lesbians',
rick@linuxmafia.com even if they did experiment that one time in college."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "When asking paranormal experts for verifiable evidence,
rick@linuxmafia.com also wish for a flying pony, because hey, you never know."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "A co-dependent clause will stay with a main clause long
rick@linuxmafia.com beyond the point that it's healthy for either of them."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "pay wall - Method used by newspapers and other publications
rick@linuxmafia.com to keep online readership down to low, manageable levels."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "It is perfectly acceptable to split an infinitive,
rick@linuxmafia.com especially if you haven't brought enough for everybody."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The correct plural forms are as follows:
rick@linuxmafia.com surgeons general, brothers-in-law, Spiders-Man."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "You can never go home again, Oatman,
rick@linuxmafia.com but I guess you can shop there."
McQ! (4x80) -- Martin Blank, "Grosse Pointe Blank"
--
Rick Moen "peasant - Seen as derogatory. Don't use in relation to
rick@linuxmafia.com farm laborers. OK for third-shift copy editors, though."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Never diagram a sentence when under the influence of
rick@linuxmafia.com alcohol or strong narcotics, even if it IS hilarious."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not simply write that an official is laying 'in state.'
rick@linuxmafia.com Be specific: What kind of state? Death? Arousal? Kentucky?"
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Do not use square brackets unless
rick@linuxmafia.com you're writing about Pat Boone or Al Gore."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "It's too bad that everyone who has a solution for
rick@linuxmafia.com everything is at home commenting on the Internet."
McQ! (4x80) -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "Shakira molests air and calls it dancing."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @kellyoxford
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "A photograph is worth more than a thousand words.
rick@linuxmafia.com Especially a photograph of at least 1001 words."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "The Tea Party is to politics what
rick@linuxmafia.com 'Jersey Shore' is to television."
McQ! (4x80) -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "I'm pretty sure the Mayans just got
rick@linuxmafia.com tired of writing that calendar."
McQ! (4x80) -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "Told my friend she shouldn't smoke weed while she's
rick@linuxmafia.com pregnant because her baby's never going to want to
McQ! (4x80) come out." -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "No hay mayor desprecio que no hacer aprecio."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Spanish proverb
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen We Await Silent Tristero's Empire.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: If you don't get that one, your life needs more Thomas Pynchon
in it.)
--
Rick Moen "I've been to Alaska, it was like a long
rick@linuxmafia.com 'Home Improvement' episode with taxidermy."
McQ! (4x80) -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "I'm not a cynic: I'm a hypocrite.
rick@linuxmafia.com Hypocrites believe in something."
McQ! (4x80) -- Roy Zimmerman, "Creation Science 101"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIwiPsgRrOs
--
Rick Moen "The race is not to the swift, nor the battle
rick@linuxmafia.com to the strong..., but that's the way to bet."
McQ! (4x80) -- Damon Runyon, riffing off Ecclesiastes 9:11
--
Rick Moen "Top tip: Pay for your homeopathic medicine with a
rick@linuxmafia.com glass of water that's had a $100 note dipped into it."
McQ! (4x80) -- Josh Price
--
Rick Moen "If a guy says, 'I feel like I've known you forever'
rick@linuxmafia.com on a first date, it means he's never talked to a
McQ! (4x80) woman for that long before." -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "'Lego'" is the plural. The singular is 'Legum'."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "You can stop running that response to Virginia's
rick@linuxmafia.com letter about Santa. She's probably dead by now."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "So, this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill,
rick@linuxmafia.com pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks,
McQ! (4x80) beer, wine, liquor." -- Michael Karlsson
--
Rick Moen "Celebrities promoting alt-med therapies should
rick@linuxmafia.com be listed in descending order of deaths caused."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "Has Google looked at the appropriateness of indexing
rick@linuxmafia.com #WikiLeaks? The answer is yes, and we decided to
McQ! (4x80) continue. Because it's legal." -- Eric Schmidt
--
Rick Moen "'Decimate' when referring to killing one
rick@linuxmafia.com in ten. 'Octomate' when referring to the
McQ! (4x80) cephalopod dating site." -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Rick Moen "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ambrose Bierce
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen Remember Thor Five!
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note: This was a rallying cry in James Blish's award-winning
science-fiction series of novels _Cities in Flight_.)
--
Rick Moen "I once requested an urgent admission for a homeopath,
rick@linuxmafia.com who had become depressed and taken a massive underdose."
McQ! (4x80) -- Dr. Phil Peverley
--
Rick Moen "It may be necessary to explain to your younger readers
rick@linuxmafia.com that Mubarak is not a Pokemon."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
(Archivist's note to posterity: Above was topical in the year 2011.)
--
Rick Moen "A shprakh iz a dialekt mit an armey un flot."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Max Weinreich, linguist
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's note to the Yiddish-challenged: 'A language is a dialect
with an army and a navy.' Weinreich was raised in Russian-ruled Latvia,
where he founded the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research, one of the
bastions of the Yiddish language, in 1925. He fled the outbreak of WWII
and re-founded YIVO in New York City during the war.)
--
Rick Moen "If you watch Black Swan backwards, it's a movie about
rick@linuxmafia.com a psychotic girl who benefits from ballet therapy."
McQ! (4x80) -- @knnth_dh
--
Rick Moen ("Personal to sci-fi fans: If '2001' is _Analog_,
rick@linuxmafia.com 'Tron: Legacy' is _Thrilling Wonder Stories_.)
McQ! (4x80) -- Roger Ebert's review of Tron: Legacy
--
Rick Moen "Julianne Moore probably took the role of Sarah Palin
rick@linuxmafia.com because actors win awards for playing handicapped people."
McQ! (4x80) -- @kellyoxford
--
Rick Moen "What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- The Doctor
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen The Doctor: "I feel disoriented."
rick@linuxmafia.com Sarah Jane Smith: "This is the disorientation centre."
McQ! (4x80) The Doctor: "That makes sense."
--
Rick Moen "No. 'Eureka' is Greek for 'This bath is too hot.'"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- The Doctor
McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "Gosh that takes me back... or is it forward?
rick@linuxmafia.com That's the trouble with time travel - you never can tell."
McQ! (4x80) -- The Doctor
--
Rick Moen Vila: "Why don't you go?" Avon: "_You_ are expendable."
rick@linuxmafia.com Vila: "And you're not?" Avon: "No, I am not.
McQ! (4x80) I am not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going."
-- Blake's Seven
--
Rick Moen "There are three states of legality in Irish law. There is all this
rick@linux stuff that comes under 'That's grand', then it moves into 'Ah, now
mafia.com don't push it', and finally it comes under 'Right, now you're takin
McQ! (4x80) the piss', and that's when the police come in." -- Dara O'Briain
--
Rick Moen "They say men can never experience the pain of
rick@linuxmafia.com childbirth. But they can, if you hit them in the
McQ! (4x80) goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours." -- Jo Brand
--
Rick Moen "Old professors never die, they just lose their faculties."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Stephen Fry
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "This is the first time in my lifetime that Irish people are
Rick Moen able to go 'What? You're going to England? It's full of
rick@linuxmafia.com terrorists. Come to Ireland. We've no terrorists at all.
McQ! (4x80) They're all playwrights, now.'" -- Dara O'Briain
--
Cheers, "I installed a skylight in my apartment.
Rick Moen The people who live above me are furious."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Steven Wright
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "On American pronunciation: You say erbs and we
Rick Moen say herbs. Because, you know, there's an H in it."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Eddie Izzard
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Rick Moen Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Peter Kay
McQ! (4x80)
-
Cheers, "People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?'
Rick Moen And I say, 'I hope so.'"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Bill Bailey
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "The first thing I do in the morning
Rick Moen is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dorothy Parker
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Please proofread your feature titles. We don't need more letters
Rick Moen from people reminding us that Mothra's Day isn't until August."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Conjoined sentences have two or more clauses. Once popular
Rick Moen sideshow attractions, modern surgery has made them rare."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "You're not cleared for that information, Friend Citizen.
Rick Moen (Remember: Rumors are treason, and make the Computer UnHappy.")
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Paranoia
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "If you play a Ke$ha song backwards, you hear messages from Satan.
Rick Moen Even worse, if you play it forwards, you hear Ke$ha."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Lord_Voldemort7
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Typographers will tell you to eliminate widows
Rick Moen and orphans. Typographers are MONSTERS."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Misplaced modifiers are always in the last place you look."
Rick Moen -- @FakeAPStylebook
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, ["Exit, pursued by a bear."]
Rick Moen -- The Winter's Tale, Act III, Scene III
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Q: Why did Douglas Hofstadter cross the road?
Rick Moen A: To make this joke possible.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Now, at this point, I should have remembered that profound
Rick Moen truism: 'Some people, when confronted with a Unix problem,
rick@linuxmafia. think, "I know, I'll use sed." Now, they have two problems.'"
com McQ! (4x80) -- Jamie Zawinski, Unix-Haters mailing list, 1992-12-12
--
Cheers, "When closing parentheses, it's polite to post
Rick Moen a sign saying when they will reopen."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Junk science, n.: genital studies."
Rick Moen -- @FakeAPStyleBook
rick@linuxmafia.
com McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Never bury the lede. Cremation is the
Rick Moen only way to make sure it's really dead."
rick@linuxmafia. -- @FakeAPStyleBook
com McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Any claim that includes a requirement that you
Rick Moen have to really, really believe for it to work is
rick@linuxmafia. essentially unfalsifiable. -- Rebecca Wolfe
com McQ! (4x80)
--
Rick Moen "So as not to offend readers, use
rick@linuxmafia.com 'the N-word' instead of 'Nebraska'."
McQ! (4x80) -- @FakeAPStylebook
--
Cheers, "I am not now, nor have I ever been,
Rick Moen a member of the demigodic party."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Dennis Ritchie
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Unless you're doing a story on the Muppets,
Rick Moen you are not a gonzo journalist."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Science editors: There are no such things as
Rick Moen 'indigo children.' The correct term is 'Jedi'."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers,
Rick Moen "So, every time a new iPhone's about to come out,
rick@linuxmafia.com one will get left in a bar? Apple's like a clumsy,
McQ! (4x80) alcoholic Easter Bunny." -- Rex Huppke
--
Cheers, "Do not forget the extra 'r' in Febuarry."
Rick Moen -- @FakeAPStylebook
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Valentine's Day (Feb. 14) should not be
Rick Moen confused with Vanhalentine's Day (every day)."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Remember: "its" means "it is", and "it's"
Rick Moen is the possessive form of "it".
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Hungry: wanting food. Hungary: European country.
Rick Moen Hung Gary: Works in classifieds, gentlemen."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @FakeAPStylebook
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Debian ist ein Textadventure."
Rick Moen -- Klaus Knopper
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "money, n., life-giving elixir of politics. syn, speech.
Rick Moen Ex: When the Supreme Court equated campaign spending with
rick@linuxmafia.com free speech, I asked my boss to lend me a million verbs."
McQ! (4x80) http://campaignenglish.com/
--
Cheers, Saturday night in Toledo, Ohio
Rick Moen Is like being nowhere at all.
rick@linuxmafia.com All through the day as the hours rush by
youtube.com/watch?v=XZUGSSYlPYI You sit in the park and you watch the grass die.
--
Cheers, "Overheard a hipster say 'Quinoa is kind of 2011',
Rick Moen so I lit his beard on fire." -- @kellyoxford
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, The society that tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an
Rick Moen exalted profession, and scorns excellence in plumbing because it is a
rick@linuxmafia.com lowly profession, will have neither good philosophy nor
McQ! (4x80) good plumbing. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
--
Cheers, Nothing's hotter than having a copyeditor correct your sex scenes.
Rick Moen -- Max Barry
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, "I know,
Rick Moen I'll solve it with threads!". has Now problems. two he
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Davidlohr Bueso
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, WebMD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book
Rick Moen where the ending is always cancer.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @kellyoxford
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once,
Rick Moen everybody lives!"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- The Doctor, "The Doctor Dances"
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A: Yes.
Rick Moen > Q: Are you sure?
rick@linuxmafia >> A: Because it reverses the logical flow of conversation.
.com McQ! (4x80) >>> Q: Why is top posting frowned upon?
--
Cheers, Actually, time flies hate a banana.
Rick Moen -- Micah Joel
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Foursquare is for people who wish they were Sims.
Rick Moen -- @kellyoxford
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Some people, when confronted with a problem, think,
Rick Moen "I know, I'll use Dvorak!" Now they have k,s rosnpdm;e
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Colter Reed
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, My daughter is invited to a samba party. I was
Rick Moen excited, thought it was a sysadmin party.
rick@linuxmafia.com Turns out it's something to do with dancing :-/
McQ! (4x80) -- Martin Bateman
--
Cheers, "Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel Test."
Rick Moen -- Matt Watson (@biorhythmist)
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "Girl, are you a model? Because you could totally be an
Rick Moen idealized sample representation of a real-world object."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Matt Watson (@biorhythmist)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I love stateless systems."
Rick Moen "Don't they have drawbacks?"
rick@linuxmafia.com "Don't what have drawbacks?"
McQ! (4x80) -- Sam Hughes
--
Cheers, Snowden is accused of giving information to "the enemy".
Rick Moen He gave information to the American people. Well, now
rick@linuxmafia.com we know who the enemy is. --- Steven Brust
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Being die-hard loyal to a company is like being in an intimate rela-
Rick Moen tionship with a brick. The brick cares nothing for you. The brick
rick@linux will only cause you pain when it forgets about you. The brick serves
mafia.com only its interests, and nothing else is of consequence. --Mackieman
--
Cheers, If you're going to play the game properly,
Rick Moen you'd better know every rule.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Rep. Barbara Jordan (D-Texas)
McQ! (4x80)
Barbara Charline Jordan was one of my personal heroes. See
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Jordan for her story.
--
Cheers, HULK LIKE OXFORD COMMA VERY MUCH. HULK WANT TO DATE,
Rick Moen BUT OXFORD COMMA GO OUT ONLY IN GROUPS OF THREE OR MORE.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @EditorHulk
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, HULK LIKE TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT "FEWER" MEAN YOU CAN COUNT IT,
Rick Moen "LESS" MEAN MUST BE MEASURED. FEWER MISTAKES MEAN LESS SMASH!
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @EditorHulk
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, And we all know the saying, which is true as well as witty,
Rick Moen that a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Allan Sherman, 'Peter and the Commissar'
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Controversy is dreaded only by the advocates of error.
Rick Moen -- Benjamin Rush
rick@linuxmafia.com
(Archivist's note: Dr. Rush of Philadelphia, a physician, polymath
reformer in many areas of science and politics, creator of the entire
field of humane treatment of the mentally ill, one of the USA's Founding
Fathers, Pennsylvania representative to the Continental Congress, and
signer of the Declaration of Independence, was a distant (maternal)
ancestor of mine. In one famous incident -- somewhat poignantly -- he
jumped heroically into attempting to halt Philadelphia's Yellow Fever
Epidemic of 1793, working multiple days on-end without sleep to apply
the best treatments then known to science, treating as many as 100
patients per day: bloodletting, purging, mercury rubs, cold baths, etc.
-- probably thereby killing more patients than the virus did. Because,
sadly, it was 1793, and to be a physician was to be a relentlessly
optimistic agent of good health for others, who in truth mostly killed
his patients.
Until the late 1800s, even a brilliant and energetic physician like Dr.
Rush was sadly much, much more likely to kill you than help you --
speaking of error -- for lack of any understanding of the 'germ' basis
of most disease, or even of disease vectors. The 1793 epidemic, for
example, was halted only when autumn frost killed the local Aedes
aegypti mosquito population. Both the exhausted Dr. Rush and everyone
else of that era had no more idea why the epidemic stopped than why it
started.)
--
Cheers, When _Guns of the South_ came out, it was sometimes shelved
Rick Moen with the history books, but only south of the Mason-Dixon
rick@linuxmafia.com Line. I couldn't make that up. Fiction has to be
plausible. History just has to happen. -- Harry Turtledove
--
Cheers, Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum.
Rick Moen -- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
rick@linuxmafia.com
--
Cheers, Do not believe you'll get the chance to choose.
Rick Moen Regret, by definition, comes too late;
rick@linuxmafia.com Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.
McQ! (4x80) Sonnet: Against Entropy, John M. Ford
--
Cheers, "Don't worry, your password has forgotten you,
Rick Moen too. It's moved on. It's stronger, now."
rick@linuxmafia.com @daniel_barker
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "So, a Degas painting walks into a barre...."
Rick Moen @behindyourback
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Every developer's hunt for the best editor ends up
Rick Moen with vim, emacs, or a management position.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Rolf Bjaanes
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Day 4278 of my caffeine LD50 field test experiment. Eyeballs
Rick Moen are vibrating. Can hear colors. Caught a hummingbird.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Matt Watson (@biorhythmist)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Where my codependents at?
Rick Moen (seriously, I've been texting you for 3 hours wtf)
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Matt Watson (@biorhythmist)
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, A Spanish todo list has everything.
Rick Moen -- Matt Watson (@biorhythmist)
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I know you believe you understood what you think I said,
Rick Moen but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not
rick@linuxmafia.com what I meant." -- S.I. Hayakawa
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Atque memento, nulli adsunt Romanorum
Rick Moen qui locutionem tuam corrigant.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, Sane, paululum linguae Latinae dico. Id legi
Rick Moen modo hic modo illic. Vero, Latine loqui non
rick@linuxmafia.com est difficilissimum. Lingua speciem involutam
McQ! (4x80) praebet, sed sat cito eam comprehendes.
--
Cheers, "You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season
Rick Moen in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your
rick@linuxmafia.com body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
McQ! (4x80) -- Edward Flaherty
--
Cheers, "Two things programmers tend to underestimate:
Rick Moen 1. How long things take.
rick@linuxmafia.com 2. How long our code will be around.
McQ! (4x80) 3. How many things we underestimate." @jasongorman
--
Cheers, « D'où vient qu'un boiteux ne nous irrite pas, et qu'un
Rick Moen esprit boiteux nous irrite? A cause qu'un boiteux
rick@linuxmafia.com reconnaît que nous allons droit, et qu'un esprit boiteux
McQ! (4x80) dit que c'est nous qui boitons. » -- Pascal, Penées
--
Cheers, « Il n'est si homme de bien, qu'il mette à l'examen
Rick Moen des loi toutes ses actions et pensées, qui ne soit
rick@linuxmafia.com pendable dix fois en sa vie. »
McQ! (4x80) -- Michel de Montaigne, Essais
--
Cheers, I'm ashamed at how often I use a thesaurus. I mean bashful.
Rick Moen Embarrassed! Wait--humiliated. Repentant. Chagrined! Sh*t!
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @cinemasins
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "The boisterous sea of liberty indeed is never
Rick Moen without a wave."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Jefferson to Lafayette, 1820
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "When the facts change, I change my mind.
Rick Moen What do you do, sir?"
rick@linuxmafia.com -- John Maynard Keynes (attr.),
McQ! (4x80) responding to a critic
(Archivist's Note: It's a colourful story, but not credible, as Keynes was
known for being even-tempered with even the most annoying and obtuse
interlocutor. A similar story is told of Mohandas Gandhi replying to a
critic who accused him of inconsistency with a position he'd articulated
previously: 'But I have learned since then!')
--
Cheers, C.S. Lewis fan: "I'd like to visit Narnia."
Rick Moen Tolkien fan: "I'd like to live in Middle-Earth."
rick@linuxmafia.com George R.R. Martin fan: "Nope, I'm good."
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: Also heard with Lovecraft fandom as the punchline.)
--
Cheers, "The trouble ain't that there is too many fools,
Rick Moen but that the lightning ain't distributed right."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Mark Twain
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "I don't need to test my programs.
Rick Moen I have an error-correcting modem."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Om I. Baud
McQ! (4x80) https://thc.org/root/phun/unmaintain.html
--
Cheers, A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi.
Rick Moen (a precipice in front, wolves behind)
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Roman saying
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, If life keeps giving you melons,
Rick Moen you just might be dyslexic.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: Play on the cloyingly optimistic American saying
'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.')
--
Cheers, You can't make anyone see reason. All you can do is
Rick Moen throw a big party around reason and see who shows up.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @alexandraerin
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, In time of crisis, people do not rise to the occasion;
Rick Moen they default to the level of their training.
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "NOLI TIMERE MESSOREM"
Rick Moen -- motto on Sir Terry Pratchett's coat of arms
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: Beloved fantasy author Terry Pratchett was knighted, to
his special pleasure, during the initial phases of his decline from an unusual
form of Alzheimer's Disease. Possibly because one of his most famous
characters is an anthropomorphic personification of Death, his heraldic motto
is the Latin for 'Don't Fear the Reaper.'
He was knighted at the beginning of 2009, almost a year to the day after
being diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's Disease following a minor
stroke, which is perhaps why death -- and Death -- were then particularly
on his mind.
Sir Terry died of his disease on 2 March 2015, aged 66, having just
finished his 41st Discworld novel, leaving behind a staggeringly
successful record of over 85 million books sold worldwide in 37
languages, many scores of novels in multiple genres, short stories,
plays, non-fiction articles, essays, poetry, television feature films,
role-playing games, video games, and board games -- and also leaving
behind unfinished major chunks of 10 other novel-length works and
'fragments from many other bits and pieces'. Such a full life, such
grace under adversity, and such a gift to the world. Ave, Sir Terry.)
--
Cheers, Arrq uryc qrpelcgvat EBG13? Nfx zr ubj!
Rick Moen
rick@linuxmafia.com
McQ! (4x80)
(Archivist's Note: This is ROT13 for 'Need help decoding ROT13? Ask me how!')
--
Cheers, NOT ALL ELECTRONS ARE NEGATIVE; some have just been hurt
Rick Moen in the past and are looking for a reason to trust again.
rick@linuxmafia.com -- @SarcasticRover
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog --
Rick Moen unless you type 'woof, woof, woof'."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- pyellman
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "If you see a snake, just kill it.
Rick Moen Don't appoint a committee on snakes."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- H. Ross Perot
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, (morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
Rick Moen (alec_eso): 1, morganj
rick@linuxmafia.com (morganj): bastard.
McQ! (4x80) -- seen on IRC
--
Cheers, i beat the internet
Rick Moen the end guy is hard
rick@linuxmafia.com -- seen on IRC
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, WallJam7: Roses are red,
Rick Moen WallJam7: violets are blue.
rick@linuxmafia.com WallJam7: All of my base
McQ! (4x80) WallJam7: are belong to you.
--
Cheers, omg i love this song
Rick Moen Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2
rick@linuxmafia.com @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
McQ! (4x80) blazemore: Yeah, that's a bad-ass song.
--
Cheers, He's making a database;
Rick Moen He's sorting it twice.
rick@linuxmafia.com SELECT * from contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice';
McQ! (4x80) SQL Clause is coming to town. -- @KarenMN
--
Cheers, QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer.
Rick Moen Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders
rick@linuxmafia.com a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv.
McQ! (4x80) -- @sempf, https://www.sempf.net/post/On-Testing1.aspx
--
Cheers, "My opinions may have changed,
Rick Moen but not the fact that I'm right."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)
--
Cheers, "My life has a superb cast,
Rick Moen but I cannot figure out the plot."
rick@linuxmafia.com -- Ashleigh Brilliant
McQ! (4x80)