1. Can you think of ways Ken might open this conversation more productively? Review the chapters on language and emotions to suggest ways he might more clearly express his feelings and might rely more on I-language.

2. Identify communication by both Ken and Jan that fosters defensiveness between them? How could their communication be altered to create a more supportive climate for discussing this issue?

3. Identify examples of counter-complaints.

4. How do you perceive Jan's effort to convince Ken to forgive her? Based on what you've learned in this chapter, can you suggest ways she might more effectively seek Ken's forgiveness?

5. How might bracketing help Jan and Ken deal with their conflict?

6. The conversation as it has progressed so far seems to be framed in a win-lose format. Each person wants to be right, to prevail. How might Ken and Jan move their conflict discussion into a win-win framework?

7. Review the seven skills of conflict management discussed in this chapter. Identify examples of these skills in the dialogue between Jan and Ken. Identify places in the dialogue where Ken and Jan missed opportunities to manage conflict skillfully.