UltraShadow
dialogues to think by
CasqueOpenFace
Barry Krusch
Internet Press
*  Knowledge at the blink of an eye
Bookman
^+Electronic Copyright 
 1994 by Barry Krusch
PThis document may be (re-transmitted) by (any person, group, or organization) to
P(any other person, group, or organization) in (DP ELECTRONIC form only) via (any
Jelectronic mode or media, including modem, storage on a BBS server, CD-ROM
Sdistribution, DAT, Syquest, E-Mail, LocalTalk, Ethernet, FTP, ISDN, floppy disc, or
Many other electronic mode of transmission) without (financial compensation to
QInternet Press), provided that (no characters are added, substituted, rearranged,
Uomitted or otherwise altered, other than for exclusively personal use). Permission is
Rgranted to make an unlimited number of hard copies of this electronic document for
Sany not-for-profit purpose.  The preceding right does not extend to documents saved
*in a format other than DP ELECTRONIC form.
SNOTE TO USER: The purpose of retaining copyright is to insure the textual integrity
of the following document.
Avant Garde
LAST UPDATED: October 25, 1994
7The latest version of this document may be obtained at 
ftp.netcom.com
/pub/krusch
Park Avenue
Introduction
Caslon 540 Roman
3As you might have realized in your travels in life,
1our language has problems 
 significant problems.
Songs like 
Communication Breakdown
 are around for a reason.
]JThe following collection of short dialogues points out key areas at issue,
Cnot only in linguistics, but also psychology and social psychology,
0and shows how the culture within which we reside
affects our 
cognitive webs
6If you find some of the following dialogues confusing,
then you are getting the point.
Park Avenue
Go For the Gold
Caslon 540 Roman
Linus:
hows Lucy a swinging pendulum
") Galileo deduced a law from this.
Lucy:
=grabs the pendulum and jerks the chain up and down, violently
) Let
s see him 
deduce a law from this!
Actual Conversation
6B has a Ph.D. in (college) educational administration.
So does my wife.
Secondary?
s higher.
The Evolution of Cooperation
Oink.
Quack.
Quack
A and B beat up C.
A Problem With Analogy
<Announcer refers to baseball game as a 
rocking chair
 game.
Because it goes back and forth?
)$5No 
 because it
s easy 
 you can lean back and relax.
+>)%Is the Glass Half-Empty or Half-Full?
Debtor:
)l5You say I owe you $100. But I say I
ve paid you $100.
H	Creditor:
Give me the other hundred!
Caslon 540 Roman
Tightrope Walker:
)lGThey say I
ve lost half my balance, I say I still have half my balance.
Jesse James: 
)l0They say I
m half-bad, but I know I
m half-good.
Doctor: 
)lEYou say we failed to give him half the oxygen he needed to live 
4I say we gave him half the oxygen he needed to live.
Park Avenue
The Undiscovered Disagreement
I like animals.
I like animals.
)	Agreement
It will never work.
re probably right.
Give a Little
We should 
treat kids fairly
We should 
abuse
 them.
Why not 
compromise
Two Sides to Every Issue
We should use gas chambers.
)$-No, we should use electricity 
s cheaper.
The Insult Which Wasn
)$"You have bacteria in your stomach.
So do you.
The Egotist
m the stupidest man alive.
You think you
re so 
special
Park Avenue
t Win
Caslon 540 Roman
m always open-minded.
re contradicting yourself.
m open-minded enough to close my mind sometimes.
re contradicting yourself.
No-Win
Parent:
)H Don
t be like me 
 be like them.
)H#You don
t practice what you preach.
Parent:
Be like me.
You want me to be your clone.
Examine Every Gift Horse
Liberator: (
to slave
Take off your chains!
Slave: 
)l You just want me to be like you.
The Winner
Five.
Seven-fifty.
Okay, seven-fifty.
thinks to himself
) I won.
+U)	The Loser
)$*Bet you can
t crush this egg in your hand.
Bet I can. (
)8&he does, and it splatters all over him
Oops 
 guess I was wrong.
Park Avenue
No Cigar
Caslon 540 Roman
It is 
possible
)#9 that I have five one thousand dollar bills in my pocket.
No, it isn
)$D(pulls out four thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine dollar bills)
They Can
t Both Be Right
The rain will stop.
The rain will continue.
A Palpable Sense of Confusion
)$<They should put strong warning labels on cigarette packages.
)$7Do you think people actually read those warning labels?
)$1You need to discriminate between right and wrong.
You said it wasn
t right to 
discriminate
)$'I didn
t like the Judy Chicago exhibit.
I thought you were a 
feminist
Should we . . .
Shh . . . don
t say anything.
(starts humming)
m not saying anything 
humming
Proof by Proof
)$,Why do they say no two snowflakes are alike?
)$-Well, they say no two fingerprints are alike.
Frame-Shift in Mid-Sentence
What time do you have?
)$'1:32, but my watch is two minutes fast.
Park Avenue
Metaphor Me the Object
Caslon 540 Roman
 me the screwdriver.
 me the perfume.
Waste
 me the Manilow record.
Frame Battles
)$$I want all play and no work. I want 
 experience.
)$	You want 
narrow
 experience.
	adaptable
submissive.
unpretentious
have no taste
Return of the Duck-Rabbit
Is a crab a 
No, it
seafood
What Do You Call It?
)$?What do you call it when a person laughs, screams, cries, etc.?
Noise.
+T)!Information Theory, In a Nutshell
Shot to 
smitharoons
)$	macaroons
)$	No, it
)(	macareens
Park Avenue
Jumping To Generalizations
Caslon 540 Roman
I don
t like Falwell.
)$	You hate 
)0	ministers
, ay?
I don
t like going to church.
re not 
)8	religious
I didn
t vote.
)$,Guess you don
t believe in the concept of a 
	democracy
t let the media lie.
What are you, against 
free speech
I don
t agree.
)$,Well, you never agree, so I
m not surprised.
8) It
s impossible for you to accept criticism, isn
t it?
Why does everyone attack me?
The Hierarchy of Hypocrisy
	tells lie
who has lied in the past
) You liar!
Hwho has also lied in the past, and who knows B has also lied in the past
) You hypocrite!
 who has done all that C has done
$) Who are you to call B a hypocrite?
#Never Discuss Religion and Politics
)$PIf you
ll admit that God doesn
t exist I
ll admit Capitalism is the best system.
Okay.
Good 
 now we agree.
True Believers
Bumper Sticker
)$<God must be a Tarheel 
 that
s why the sky is Carolina Blue.
Park Avenue
_'Slipping Between the Horns of a Dilemma
Caslon 540 Roman
Are you talking, or am I crazy?
Maybe both.
The Pathetic Neurotic
Psychiatrist
.According to the circumstances, you should be 
paranoid
, not a 
manic-
depressive
Patient
t I do 
anything
 right?
Get It Right, You Knucklehead!
What goes 
!, then goes 
clunk
)$HA person who rings a doorbell with a knife, then drops it on the ground.
You idiot 
 not a 
knife
 it was a 
screwdriver
 I can
t believe you messed it up.
Subtlety
s the opposite of 
outsense
Incense
)$,I was going to ask, 
s the opposite of 
incense
, but that would have been too
obvious.
At the Surrealist Restaurant
Waiter, this pizza has 
bones
 in it!
Nocturnal Conversations
s the moon?
)$3A big white thing with Jackie Gleason
s face on it.
Why don
t plants eat meat?
They don
t have teeth.
Caslon 540 Roman
Why is the color red not green?
It doesn
t fit in.
Can you smell music?
Yeah.
What does it smell like?
)$&It
s according to what mood you
re in.
)$"What did the tree say to the leaf?
)$.Go buy some gum while you still have a chance.
Park Avenue
+<)'Something
s Rotten in the State of Mind
Hamlet:
)H+One may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
Psychiatrist:
-whispering in the ear of another psychiatrist
) Paranoia.
Seeing Through Scrims
Snob Scrim
s the ring I bought you.
The diamond
s too small
)$ Here
s the handbag I bought you.
s not Gucci
Insecurity Scrim
)$ Here
s the handbag I bought you.
Somebody likes me after all!
%Reality is In the Eye of the Beholder
The Object
Caslon 540 Roman
I see a 
Psychologist:
projecting
Park Avenue
$Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
The Analogies
Blind man:
I do not see red.
Man with normal sight:
I see red.
Man with normal sight:
I do not see red.
Color-blind man:
I see red.
Schizophrenic:
I see ants on my arm.
I see no ants.
Blind Man 1:
 a leg.
Blind Man 2:
 a trunk.
The Reality
)$ Can
t you see the possibilities?
Smelling Between the Lines
t say no.
)$ I smell a 
 in these 
Zen Dissatisfaction
An insect bit me.
re all 
d rather my arm were a different segment of the One.
Park Avenue
The Teacher We Never Had
Caslon 540 Roman
H	 Teacher:
*to class, holding up a jigsaw puzzle piece
To you this is a piece.
*Teacher brings out almost completed puzzle
To me, it is the missing piece.
Teach Your Children Well
Mother to child
)E! (3 years old): Say 
Coke is it.
Back to the Drawing Board
Victim:
)H+What would your mommy say if she were here?
Bully:
d tell me to beat you up.
Victim:
)H"You do everything your mommy says?
The Beginning of Reason
4Ma would tell kid, 
always do what your elders say.
|NKid hangs out with some elder gang members, who tell him to spray paint a car.
Why did you do it?
They told me to.
)$=And if they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that?
*The smell of inconsistency was in the air.
4Just at that moment, an idea entered the boy
s mind.
!This was the beginning of reason.
)$NNow wait just one second. You
ve instructed me to obey my elders, haven
t you?
Yes, I have.
)$@Hmmm 
 well, let
s extend this argument. Shouldn
t we apply your
 jump-off-a
bridge
 analysis not only to elder 
gang members
, but elders in 
general
, such as parents
l(and teachers?  And if you claim that we 
should
) broaden the scope of your analysis, as I
lSbelieve consistency would dictate, why did you fail to raise this analysis in these
Dalternative contexts? Why did you wait until now to raise the issue?
)$DI think you
ve been seeing too much of that 
missing-piece
 teacher.
Park Avenue
Why History Takes So Long
Caslon 540 Roman
)$%Let
s have equal opportunity for all.
 Think Harder
Slavery is wrong.
)$!Can you think of a better system?
Beautiful Ideas Destroyed.
The world will be at peace.
You have no proof of that.
Our love will last forever.
You call this love?
)$-I can
t thank you enough for all you
ve done.
Just fork over the bucks.
Another Actual Conversation
)$ Why don
t you accept his answer?
Because we don
t want to (
laughs
A Romantic Interlude
I like kissing you.
)$AYou
re not so bad yourself . . . is that what you wanted to hear?
)	Go For It
)$.What will you do with a diamond if you get it?
Hide.
Park Avenue
Why Not?
Caslon 540 Roman
Why conform?
Doesn
t everybody?
Facing the Muzak
I don
t want to go to work.
Zombie:
If I did it, you can do it too.
But look what it did to you!
Zombie:
You have to face reality.
The Hole-Digger
Dig this hole.
(digs hole)
Now you
re a 
hole-digger.
 What do hole-diggers do?
Dig holes.
Go to it. I
ll bring you food.
Patience
Man will have a great society.
after Armageddon
) What do you say now?
The future isn
t over yet.
$,'&#
35%-).
@  	>
 '"6$
/',54
$,'&#
35%-).
 '"6$
/',54
\'	temp.0001
Barry Krusch
Barry Krusch
Microsoft Word
Bookman
Avant Garde
UltraShadow
CasqueOpenFace9
Caslon 540 Roman:N
Park Avenue
rPREC
~PRVS
&FNMS