"Of course they do that on 90210, but not on Doogie Howser - Doogie has a family!" - Pap as he gets in a heated argument with Seth "Seth we can't do that, it wouldn't be right." - Justin (said many times) "Are you done talking to your twelve year olds?" - Pap to Jesse while IRC'ing. "I can't believe I tried one of those hot pockets after it thawed.." - Sean "Hey! I wrote my name with ducks!!" -Seth to an impressed Pap "Why is this pig thanking me for hitting it?" - Pap "Your car smells funny." - Pap to Seth "Dear Diary, I nearly died today.." -Seth every night after letting Pap drive... (we were nearly killed many times) "Johnny Cage is not afraid to die!" - Cd player, every day thanks to Pap. "I don't think we can use the force when we play badminton." - Pap to Seth on the court "This is the best procedure ever, I gotta show ya..." - Seth to Pap just before accidentally hitting the reset button "I'm not like the rest of the you who sleep in 'till 3!!" - Shawn to Pap & Seth "We should get this out before a year passes..." - Seth "Milli Vanilli is not the ultimate debugging song we go by!!" - Pap "Oh come on, just blame it on the rain." - Seth in response "Arrggg!!" - Pap in anger "Don't ever, ever, ever put a jar of peanut butter in the microwave if you wanna soften it. It completely exploded on me!" - Seth "He couldn't be a pig farmer if he killed them all .." - Seth "That duck could kick my ass!" - Pap "I don't get it, why can't the duck talk?" - Seth "Dear Diary: I can't believe Pap almost killed us putting gel in his hair while driving back to the office" -Seth "Does my nose look cleaner?" - Pap "I really don't want to look closely." -Seth "Aww, look at the ducks..." - Seth "Look at their heads go flying backwards." - Pap in response "Seth's keeping track of his quotes?" -Shawn "I can't believe I'm on crack patrol." -Pap "Sporty Spice! I'm gonna try and say that once every day from now on." - Seth "Damnit, I have a whopper I wanna eat!" -Seth as the business phone rings. "Better watch what you put in those scripts. The Spice Girls manager is gonna call us and say 'we saw what you put about Sporty, and she's pissed!" -Seth to Pap "Mom, Would you kill one of your pets if someone offered you a million dollars?" -Seth "What do you think Paula Abdul, MC Hammer and Milli Vanilli are doing right now?" -Seth to Pap after a Taco Bell run "They're probably up in an airship together." - Pap "I'm not sure if I should let you drive in the middle of a wind storm..." - Seth to Pap "By the way I fixed that error." - Seth to Pap "Uh I never got that error." - Pap in response "Oh, well just letting you know the headaches of it." - Seth "Headaches noted sir." - Pap "I think I inhaled too much Tang." - Pap "Do you think we could ever get Gary Coleman for one of our games?" - Pap :;First user made Dink SmallWood webpage :;siting 9/17/97 "We have addon levels already?" - Seth "We'll make it a fun and creative environment, with finger painting over here..." - Seth "You move, your partner doesn't..." -Shawn "How come we have a urinal as one of our buildings?" - Pap to Seth "That building RULES!" - Seth in response "Hey!! Erase 'days till Jedi Knight is out' and put back 'days until Dink shareware is released!" - Seth yells at Pap after seeing the blackboard "Can't a guy just enjoy an hour of TV without getting any crap?!?" - Seth watching Melrose Place while Pap bothers him "Ok, it's for sure fixed now." - Pap "I'm gonna have fish jumping out of water before you fix that." - Seth "Perhaps." - Pap "My indian name is ComputerWolf." - Seth "So I turn my computer on, and there are two Smurfs going at it." - Pap "If they hack the CD they don't get the audio, the movies or the naked pics of me." - Seth "This chat is going by too fast, they could be saying I suck, and I missed it." - Seth "The magic of M.R.E.'s, mmm mmm good." -Seth "Hey, did you just lite a match and throw it at me?" - Pap "No." -Seth in response "Can I put that in our 'quotes.txt' just because?" - Pap "Oh, alright." - Seth in response "That should be a goal of some level, you have no weapon but you have to kill." -Seth "This monster has a red ass." - Pap "Uh oh ... Milder turned into Raiden." -Seth "Dude, I don't know what's going on but this sh*t needs to work." - Seth after seeing an interesting battle between a knight and ducks "All the death is fixed." - Seth "Well... the cave guy.. I mean, I could DO him..." - Pap "If only Brandon were here ... what would the Walshes do?" - Seth trying to figure out a procedure w/ the 90210 soundtrack on "Hey, the pigs are dead, but I can feed them!" - Seth "That RULES!!" - Pap in response "Anyway, you get the idea ... oh just pretend it all worked." - Seth "Pap, I think you've had more Pepsi than what's up there." - Shawn "Hey what can I say, when you come back a few years later and look at it, you get a good laugh." -Shawn "Owwwwww!!!" - Pap after taking a sip out of his cup "Maybe you should try having real food." - Shawn to Pap "Yeah, but I was just drinking water." -Pap in response :;//Shareware Out "... all we want is death ..." - Seth to Justin "The real time starts now." - Seth "Have fun screwing." - Pap to Shawn "Yes, I will." - Shawn "Oh Terrence, what color is the wind?" -Pap's startup wave... "All your roads look sort of.. phallic. Are you doing this on purpose?" - Seth to Pap "Rectify!! I shouldn't use that word so often." - Seth "I'd rather make a raft." - Justin "It'll take me a week to do mother..." -Justin "I could do her in like 5 seconds." - Seth "So you're coming to the Spice Girls movie right?" - Pap to Seth "Yeah, I'll be dressed as Naughty Spice." - Seth "I wish they still had drive-in's... and I had NICE car." - Seth "Hey mom, check out that stain on my bedspread." - Seth to his Mother "Now what exactly was I supposed to think that was?" - Seth's Mother "..we can do what we want ... except for the porn." - Seth to Pap on making maps ".. to heck with the two-year olds where's the booze?!" - Some Old Man ".. if you put enough alcohol in me I can handle anything." - Some Lady "What's that?" - Pap to Shawn about something on the desk "I don't know." - Shawn in response "Seth, what's that?" - Pap to Seth about same item "Uh, I don't know." - Seth in response "Why the hell is there something organic lying around the office and no one knows what it is?!?!?" - Pap "Five bucks to whoever eats it!" - Seth "..Where'd you go?" - Seth's Mom "I got my hair cut" - Seth "I like it, it's really weird." - Seth's Mom "Yeah Pap, where's your 'A-team' addon for the game?" - Jesse ".. in my 7 foot jet, pushing right on by ..." - Cd player "Yeah, well at least I was man enough to admit when my facial hair wasn't working!" - Seth to his younger brother "I can fly!!!" - Seth "Are you killing the fish?" - Pap to Shawn "Yes." - Shawn "It's like it's face and it's butt have the same color red..." - Seth "I never know with you Seth." - Justin "RtSoft, this is Greg what can I do for ya?" - Seth answering the phone "Hey!!" - Pap "I would've been over here sooner, but that Dish is a piece of crap. We couldn't find the dang satellite." -Shawn "We're ... not from around here." - Seth at the store "Well, I've offended Pap's ears enough ..." - Seth after 'playing' the Keyboard and demonstrating the 'show tune' version of Star Wars "Even with the blast shield down I thought I could see with my mind!" - Pap after using the restroom with the lights burned out "How come I'm the lead level designer and I haven't seen these screens!?!" - Pap looking at the Dink CD case " ... so anyway, I saw a cool Doogie Howser episode last night .." - Pap to Shawn "You saw a cool Doogie Howser episode .... ?" - Shawn in response "Shut up, Doogie RULES!!" - Pap "It's the 'Rain of Doom' weapon." - Seth after spawning a fountain over a monster "I think Screen Match technology just tried to completely screw me." - Pap "Really?" - Seth "I think that function has it out for me." - Pap "That is NOT going in our quotes.txt!" -Seth after saying .... something "I have tissue if you need it." - Seth "Don't read ahead, you have to solve it on your own." - Seth to Pap while writing the ending "Yeah, I'll solve it with my 'debug' option!" - Pap "It's really a slow function, but I just don't have time to rewrite it" - Seth "Would Mr. Abrash approve?" - Pap "No..." - Seth hanging head guiltily "Whoa, a golf ball." - Shawn "We have gold balls?" - Pap "Hey fishies ... " - Shawn with golf ball "You know, we should include 3d glasses." - Seth "Ok, just one more house to do!" - Seth "Do I have to do the inside too?" - Pap gloomily "Yeah.. but it doesn't have to be quality or anything." - Seth "Goodie!" - Pap cheerily "I hope you've learned your lesson about challenging me at Knightrider" - Pap smugly after playing his nightrider wav after it is mentioned. "I saw Shawn out driving around, so I cranked it right, cut off a few people and made it to Wendy's" - Pap "This is what I was able to do with Seth's package ... let me rephrase that ..." - Pap explaining to Shawn "... it'd be cool, something like suicide for people who can't afford it." - Seth "Hey Pap, you wanna test my patch?" - Seth "Everyone wants to test Seth's patch." - Shawn trying to help "Okay, I'll look over your plots ... ah so you're going with a comedy then." - Seth on the phone "I'm using those to mail to the foreigners." - Shawn "That cat and the cat at home have a thing for my bag ... whenever I set it down they always come up and hit it or sleep in it." - Shawn "I can feel myself, this is weird, I'm 3d!!" - Seth imitating a thx mp3 "So how is womb.com?" - Pap "Fine.. I was downloading something but I had to.. abort it..." - Seth, which causes much groaning from Pap and Shawn. "You're really going to like your present." - Shawn to Seth "What is it though?" - Seth "Yeah, I don't even know what it is." -Pap "I know it's not a hammock or a blow-up doll, I already asked." - Seth "Hey! That's not what I saw before, that looks more like herpes.." - Seth to Pap after seeing a texture map he requested. "We're thinking about Seth-Online" - Seth "I think I got too much mayo" - Pap "Our quotes are better!" - Pap :;At the Wendy's drivethrough: "I'm no tomatoes" - Pap "I'm no lettuce and tomatoe" - Shawn "I'm no onions" - Seth "And we're all wacky!!!" - Pap "I want Dave Thomas supersized..." - Pap "Oh it's still business hours for Rtsoft, those sell-out bitches!" - Sam "Did you get Promise off yet? You need to do that before you go." - Seth's Mother to Shawn "We've designed our new bathroom to keep fat people out." - Seth "... they aren't retarted mentally ... just socially I think." - Pap "I'll have a very comfortable old age ... in bed. What kinda fortune is that?" -Shawn after reading his fortune at a chinese restaurant. "I think someone is in your house.. unless your cat was trying to beat the door down" - Pap "Yeah yeah, we've all got harpies." -Seth playing Ultima On-line "I'm not planning on touching the ceiling in the bathroom." - Seth "It will be like Cop Rock.. but not bomb!" - Seth :;Pap having trouble reinstalling Win95: "My mom's computer never sucked so much c*ck!" - Pap "I'm gonna axe every driver on this thing a question!" - Pap "Sh*tballs!" - Pap "I'm deleting every f*cking thing, it's gonna rule!" - Pap "Shotgun.. hah-hah-hah" - Seth (extra smarmy) "Why is my ice chewy??" - Seth "Ewww." - Pap "Did we go to Arby's, someone jizzed in this." - Seth "I'll do anything with Blue Cheese ..." -Seth "Ok, find me Peter Eater." - Seth's sister "Yeah, well if he has a car or whatever, I'll go out with him." - Seth's sister "My hair is soft." - Pap "Yeah, like a brilo pad." - Seth's Sister "Damn it, if I'd had my Intel Pentium 2 suit, this never would have happened!" -Pap after spilling butter on his leg. "Did you like it at all?" - Seth "No, it tasted funny and I had trouble swallowing it." - Pap "Oh Sh*t, I just thought of the quotes.txt file!!" - Pap "If they call on the 1-800 # for LORD sales, you should give them the regular number, " -Pap "It's no big deal, I can usually can get them off in under a minute," - Seth "What a great skill to have..." - Pap (smirking) "Real mature, Smith!" - Seth "Yeah, do that, but I want it as realistic as Titanic ok?" - Seth "What does the command 'Bufu' do?" - Seth "I have a few guesses but probably shouldn't say." - Pap "Set course for the love boat!!" - Pap as he 'Kal Ort Pors' "I'm not gonna bend down for that little tiny thing." - Seth "Good shot B-1" - Seth "Thanks B-2, did you know that I'm the silent killer?" - Pap "By the way, good directions!!" - Seth "Hello, anyone? Is anyone there. I've been alone all day, I'm hungry someone please call. Anyone ... help me." - Pap delirous on answering machine "Maybe his parents caught him in the kitchen ..." - Seth "If only pigs were electronic, you could pop in a new chip and there you go." -Seth "I think I'll destroy them all." - Pap "Hey, there you go." - Shawn in reply "Dude, you're gonna ruin the entire group. Your character doesn't need it, he can't even f-ing hit slimes!! Damnit, Damnit, Damnit." - Pap as Seth gives his character all the good stuff in Might & Magic 6 "Hey what was that one space game called, you know from the people who made the King Quest games?" - Seth "You mean Space Quest?" - Pap in response "Oh ... yes." - Seth "Are you gonna give it to him?" - Shawn "If he can afford it, yes. I explained to him how it works." - Seth "Yeah, it's going to be like one of those hand held Tiger games, that's our goal.." - Seth "Great, glad we're moving up," - Pap "Does Satan work?" - Seth "Yeah, I fixed him." - Shawn "Uhh, where is Satan?" - Seth "Oh, I put him over there." - Shawn "Yeah, he is pretty tough, being the lord of evil and all." - Seth talking to a customer on the phone about the end boss in Dink Smallwood "We believe you should be able to kill people ... and animals." - Seth speaking to another customer on the phone "Yeah ... it gets sicker." - Seth "This is the antithesis of FUN!" - Seth "It's all about experimenting with the urges." - Seth "I've got your ASCII version RIGHT HERE!" - Pap yells in frusteration "My computer does not crash all the time!!" - Seth as he reboots his computer because it just crashed "'My adventure come to an end.' is PROPER ENGLISH!" - Pap "No, no it isn't." - Seth (huge argument follows) "We should make the slow ass club." -Seth refering to his and Shawn's computers "Why do the cameras have a monster brain?!" - Pap "I'm really fu*king glad my computer waited until NOW to go to hell!!!" - Pap as his computer screws up around the time of finishing the Dink Add-on "What do you think of this lightning graphic I did?" - Pap "Hmm.. You know what? We don't really need lightning..." - Seth "What's WRONG with this? Why don't you call Bjorn and have him render you some of that too!" - Pap cries with tears in his eyes :;Mystery Island is released. YAY!