Mother and Son 
Compilation by Dark Setsuna and Mitsuki Kaburagi.

We've always been intrigued and fascinated about Seishirou's strange relationship with Setsuka, his mother and predescesor, so this small compilation of every allusion he makes about his feelings towards her just goes to clarify a little the many dark points about the previous Sakurazukamori and the weird way in which she was bounded to her son and known assasin.


I. From 'Beginning', fanfiction by Sakurazuka Val
[Note: Seimei and Mitsuaki are Subaru's father and mother, respectively.]

[...]

"Okaa-sama?"

[...]

A little, probably ten-year-old boy dressed in black school uniform was calmly standing at the very feet of the Barrow Tree, surveying the bizarre scene with the innocence of those who still don't know anything about death and sorrow, a hint of interested curiosity half perceived in his face, veiled by shadow.

[...]

And just then the boy entered the circle of moonlight that illuminated the clearance.

[...]

"Who's this Omnyouji?" 

The child's serenely demanding voice, showing no fear, showing absolutely not the slightest trace of emotion...

[...]

No.

"Seishirou!" 

Setsuka's voice appeared enlighten by the strangest combination of surprise and joy, and he managed to raise his weary head to capture the unusual glint of familiarity in the woman's crimson eyes, the trace of a smile that, not given the moment, he would have called a loving one, as she called the boy by his name.

Seishirou...

Seimei's febrile eyes flashed glaucously expectant.

"Come over here, sweetheart!" 

Setsuka held out her delicate hand, the presence of her disturbed lover suddenly as if forgotten.

And the child obeyed, rushing to the woman's side as his questioning glance never left Seimei's bright emerald pools.

The woman put her pale hands on the boy's proud shoulders, sheltering the little body against her long limbs, then turned again to face her visitor, the startling voidness of her smile blurred a bit by a dark hint of satisfaction.

Seimei's green eyes went wide open, until they almost occupied all of the space left in his beautiful face.

Setsuka's smile grew wider.

"My son."

[...]

"Your... son... ?"

Seimei shook his head slowly, refusing to believe, resisting the certainty that lay before him, though his own vision gave him all the evidence he needed to know his deny was useless.

The boy's eyes.

Empty.

Divested of all trace of humanity whatsoever. 

Void mirrors that gave away only his own perplex reflection as he stared fixedly into them, surrounded by a thick shock of Setsuka's same raven hair that was softly stroke now and then by the delicacy of a sakura petal.

A face that was already handsome in his early childhood and promised to grow until his masculine perfection surpassed even the beauty of his mother, whose long, graceful features perfectly emulated.

A face that had never known the trace of any emotion and never will.

And with all that, the terrorizing possibility that he might as well be...

No.

"But... how? When...?" Seimei's mind was incapable of thinking correctly, busy with a myriad of fears and doubts and questions that fought to be clarified.

The now almost glassy green eyes somehow managed to escape from the little boy's silent inquiry and flew to the woman's ones, without even bothering to disguise his fear, "... Why didn't you tell me...?"

"What for?" Setsuka's cutting simplicity did not admit any possible reply, "What would you have done after all, overjoyed as you were with the birth of your own inheritors? Seishirou's existence would have remained indifferent to you, until now."

Her pale fingers brushed through the silky dark hair of her beautiful son in sort of a caress, "Mitsuaki-chan's twins, and my Seishirou... they belong to the next generation... "

[...]

"Don't make the child see how you kill me."

[...]

The serene beauty of his delicate face even caused the Sakurazukamori's pupils to dilate in pleasure, fascinated by the heavenly vision that was offered to her eyes. 

[...]

"Do not worry, my darling." her dark smile emulated once again all the sensual passion that had enraptured his heart when they were forbidden lovers, as she closed her fingers firmly on her child's shoulders, "I won't kill you..."

A breathing, awaiting silence enveloped the aura of the maboroshi for a few moments that seemed to went on for eternity.

"Seishirou will..."

[...]

The boy's interrogating stare lifted to his mother's face, as if to be sure he was being allowed to play an interesting game which rules he was still beginning to learn.

Setsuka smiled warmly at him, a great contrast that denied the nature of the moment, and bowed her head slightly.

"Don't... "

Seimei closed his eyes as if like that he could be able to chase all the horror in his heart away.

The thick eyelashes lifted a bit, allowing the green radiance of his melancholic iris to come out one last instant in his lifetime.

"Please, don't make him do it..."

"Not him..."

Not him...

Seishirou's stare fixed over him.

A rich, golden brown that shone as cold as the chilling breeze that cut through the frail barrier of his clothing.

Fascinating.

So cold...

Beautiful...

And cold...

Suddenly nothing else in the world seemed to exist but the calm, empty lure of that stare.

A flurry of sakura blossoms was carried away by a sudden gust of wind over him.

Seimei's eyelids began to feel heavy.

The sudden strength of the glaze enveloped him in a daydream of flying sakura petals.

And he was suddenly tired, so tired.

And sad.

Something velvety and small brushed over the side of his alabaster face, opening a deep wound that soon started bleeding.

There was something very wrong... He frowned as a myriad of pink engulfed his white clad body. 

Something as little and delicate was not supposed to hurt.

Sakura petals were flying, flying, their furious stroke cutting through him like a rain of diminutive crystal shards, but bringing no pain, as the bright whiteness of his ceremonial robes was slowly beginning to turn scarlet.

Seimei's lips opened to gasp for air, a sweet, warm taste breaking upon his numb tongue.

The world was blood red with sakura petals...

[...]

"Subaru..."

A last, ragged whisper escaped from the shuddering frame, and with it, his last breath. 

Gracefully and slowly, Seimei fell back to the sakura covered grass, leaving a twinkling path of crystal tears that managed to break out of the now obscure green eyes in the last instant behind him.

"Subaru?" little Seishirou's voice sounded confused, as if trying to work out the meaning of his prey's last words, his thoughtful brown eyes looking indifferently at the lifeless body that laid in front of his small figure in the middle of a bright red pool.

"Farewell, darling Seimei-kun," Setsuka's abstract smile was half hidden by the long shadows projected by the tall Sakura Barrow, "and have no fear, for I will not be the one to harm your beloved children..."

The bloody eyes lingered just a minute more over the beautiful, peaceful face of the Thirteenth Head of the Sumeragi Clan, to then rest over the contemplative figure of her son, "My time is soon to be over, as well..."

"And then we will meet again."





Val-chan's fic is based on our everlasting hypothesis of how did Subaru's father died, but what we want to outline here is the way she treats Seishirou's relationship with his mother like an unusual kind of family affection, mostly centered around Seishirou's knowledge that he will become Sakurazukamori and therefore his 'training' to become it. What's interesting about this is the peculiar resignation with which Setsuka seems to assume it, just like in the following example, and even seems happy and enthusiastic to assume her destiny. So is the Sakurazukamori autodestructive? Is there a possibility of family love among those who are supposed to kill their parents/family relatives to assume a title? Maybe that's what drives them to let themselves be killed by the next Clan's Head. One is naturally supposed to deveal affection towards a son or daughter. So perhaps we're facing the very reason for which Sei-chan is and will be the last Sakurazukamori: his 'perfection' (i.e. total lack of emotions) is untouched. He never had any inheritors towards whom he'll develope family love and therefore he is still the 'perfect assasin'.





II. From Seishirou's X character file

I found an old comb this morning.

A red comb.
The comb belonging to the one who gave birth to me.

The comb that always used by the person I used to call Mother.

She was like a girl.
Small red lips that looked like they were dyed with flowers, and
long black hair......

I think she was a beautiful person.

Her white skin color is still a vivid memory.

White skin.
Colored by red, of blood.

Mother, in my memory, is always coupled with the smell of blood.

My mother was the Sakurazukamori.
The one before me.
I wonder how old she was.
I still am not completely sure.
The one that always smiled quietly forever seemed to be a young
girl.

I first met her when I was nine. It was winter.
I do not know where she was until then.
I was born in Kanazawa, and Mother was in Tokyo.
As long as I can remember, I had never thought of wanting to meet
my mother.
I have no interest in who gave birth to me, nor who my father is.

It doesn't matter.

Mother was in a traditional Japanese house in the outskirts of
Tokyo.
Deep inside a vast one-story mansion.
In a dark room where the sun never shone.
A room lined with bars.
In retrospect, I guess that was a prison-room.
A prison to enclose the girl that was my mother.

When we first met, the girls smiled suggestively and said.

"You're my child."

Nobody told me, but those words felt right to me.
When I answered yes, she pressed her red lips against my
cheek, laughed joyfully, and said again...


SETSUKA
I will be killed by you.

A dark Japanese-style room.
Iron bars surround the room like a prison cell.
Faint candlelight.
Next to the light are Seishirou's mother "Setsuka" and a
junior-high-school aged Seishirou.

SEISHIROU
You look like you are having fun, Mother.

With a smile like a young girl, Setsuka leans against
Seishirou.
Giggles and puts her hand against Seishirou's cheek.

SETSUKA
Because you came, Seishirou.

Setsuka, with a smile.

SETSUKA
See, my kimono with designs of winter camellias.
They said you were coming today, so I wore this for the first time.

SEISHIROU
Beautiful.

SETSUKA
Really?

SEISHIROU
Really.

SETSUKA
Me or the kimono?

SEISHIROU
You, of course.

Setsuka happily embraces Seishirou.

SETSUKA
Seishirou... I love you.

SEISHIROU
Me? Love?

SETSUKA
Yes. I love you.

Setsuka smiles her usual suggestive smile.

SETSUKA
But you don't feel anything for me, Seishirou.
I know.

SEISHIROU
Is that so?

SETSUKA
It is. Well, it's true, right? Can you disagree?

SEISHIROU
I wonder.

SETSUKA
You can't.

Setsuka laughs again.

SETSUKA
You're so honest, Seishirou.

Setsuka gently presses her ear against Seishirou's chest.

SETSUKA
Funny. You have no heart {emotional. =kokoro} but you have a heart
{physical. =shinzou}.

SEISHIROU
People would die without their hearts.

SETSUKA
Oh? You are not troubled about dying.

Setsuka looks up at Seishirou with black eyes.

SETSUKA
You wouldn't be troubled, right?
You have nothing to fear about death, right?

That's because.
You have nothing precious.
Nothing you would regret losing.
You have nothing that would be painful if you left in this world.

SEISHIROU
..................

Seishirou looks at Setsuka, not answering.

SETSUKA
Yes? You look like you want to say something.

Setsuka smiles mischievously.

SEISHIROU
Do you love something?

Setsuka smiles and whispers into Seishirou's ear.

SETSUKA
.... That's a secret.

Setsuka giggles.

SETSUKA
I went outside for the first time in a while today.

SEISHIROU
Who did you kill?

SETSUKA
I don't know.
A man. A big man.
He looked at me with sad eyes when he died.

He said that he was scared of dying.
He said that he loved someone, so he didn't want to die.

SEISHIROU
Was it fun?

SETSUKA
Very.

SEISHIROU
That's good.

SETSUKA
Why?

SEISHIROU
Because I'm happy when you are happy.

SETSUKA
Liar.

SEISHIROU
I am not lying.

SETSUKA
You don't care about me at all.

SEISHIROU
That's not true.

SETSUKA
How can you say that?

SEISHIROU
Because you are beautiful.

Setsuka laughs again.

SETSUKA
You like beautiful things?

SEISHIROU
Yes, I like them.

SETSUKA
What part of me is beautiful?

SEISHIROU
The hair, the eyes, the lips... everything.
Mother, it's hard to believe that you gave birth to me.

Seishirou stares at Setsuka.

SEISHIROU
You are always.... a young girl.

SETSUKA
But... the end will come soon.

SEISHIROU
..............

SETSUKA
Right, Seishirou?

SEISHIROU
..............

SETSUKA
You're going to end this for me, right?

SEISHIROU
........ I guess.

Setsuka laughs happily.

SETSUKA
...... I'm glad.

I picked these because I heard you were coming today. See?

Setsuka pulls on her sleeve and holds the flower arrangement
on the vase.

SETSUKA
Camellias. Red camellias.

SEISHIROU
Your favorite flower.

SETSUKA
I love it. I love camellias best when they fall.

Setsuka gets a dreamy look.

SETSUKA
It falls on the ground.... plop, like a human head.
I love it.

When there is a red camellia on the ground on a snowy day.
It looks like white snow is covered with red blood.
I love it.

SEISHIROU
Then should I bring you camellias next time?
Red flowers that you love.

SETSUKA
Are you going to decorate my grave with it?

Setsuka answers with no bad feelings.

SETSUKA
But you can't, because the Cherry will eat my corpse.

Setsuka laughs.

SETSUKA
I'm going to be eaten by the Cherry underneath the cherry tree where
the past Sakurazukamori's all lie. If you bring a camellia, the
Cherry will be mad.

SEISHIROU
..... you like a camellia more than the Cherry?

Setsuka suddenly smiles more maturely.

SETSUKA
I *am* the Cherry.

Setsuka, holding the camellias, leans against Seishirou.

SETSUKA
See, they smell nice....

Seishirou takes Setsuka's fingers that hold the flower,
putting his lips against them.

SEISHIROU
..... smells of blood.

SETSUKA
I wonder whose blood?
I've killed so many, I don't know whose blood it is.

Setsuka takes Seishirou's finger and bites hard.

SEISHIROU
..............!

SETSUKA
..... Seishirou, your finger tastes good.

Setsuka smiles suggestively.

SETSUKA
Does that hurt....?

SEISHIROU
.... no.

SETSUKA
...... The smell of your blood, Seishirou..... I love it.

Setsuka traces over Seishirou's lips.

SETSUKA
Kiss me.

Seishirou silently kisses Setsuka.
Setsuka, mumbling.

SETSUKA
I love you.... Seishirou.....

Soon.....

You will kill me.



Just as Mother said, I killed her.

When I was fifteen.
Snowy day.
Under a camellia, the plant that she said she loved.

The white snow was painted by the red from the camellia and the
red of her blood.

Mother happily died in my arms.
She smiled as she got colder.
Her smile was still that of a young woman. Beautiful.

I killed Mother and became Sakurazukamori.
I didn't feel anything even when I killed her.

Even now.
I don't feel anything.





Here's the concept of Setsuka's strange 'affection' towards her son again. Little Seishirou, eventhough he's supposed to meet her for the very first time, is totally aware of both their conditions and destiny, and so is his mother. Setsuka teases him, plays with the boy's knowledge of what means to be a Sakurazukamori, and still mocks young Seishirou's deny of not being able to feel love towards her. The thing here is, did Seishirou really love his mother and became feelingless only 'after' he killed her? Our guess here is no, Seishirou's performing of the succesion requirements had nothing to do with his lack of feelings. This is: you must submit a child to such a monstrous 'education' for him to grow and become what our (dearest) Seishirou-san is now. Perhaps the act of killing Setsuka was only the test he had to go through in order to prove he was ready for occupying her place. And eventhough it seems he 'wanted' to love his mother, the ideas he had been taught since childhood appear to be stronger. Again, when Setsuka doesn't answer to her son's question about having any feelings somehow gives strenght to the theory of whether the time comes to replace the Sakurazukamori when he/she begins to develope feelings or not. A veritable answer seems to be Setsuka loves her son, Seishirou doesn't love his mother back eventhough he wants to, and so he is ready to 'replace' her.

Another strange things is: was the Sakurazukamori being actually imprisoned? Can anyone really do 'that' to a person of his/her power? If so, who did it, and why? These are tempting subjects to future fics =)






III. From 'End', TB Vol. 7

[Seishirou, to Subaru]

When I killed a person for the first time... I was fifteen years old.
I murdered the previous Sakurazukamori.
She was my own mother.
It seems I am totally feelingless.
Even when my mother's blood flew like a sea, I didn't feel anything at all.
After that, it has always been the same, no matter who I kill
I don't feel anything special.
For many years ago I have been unable to make any distiction between people and things...





Seishirou's words are enough to understand what killing his mother really meant to him, appart from the fact of his becoming the next Sakurazukamori. When he confesses this to Subaru he appears very sure of his nature, and doesn't seem to be blaming his lack of emotions on Setsuka's murder. Perhaps the fact of him being able to kill the one who gave birth to him gives Seishirou the certainty that he is totally capable of killing 'anyone' -except, at least 'till now, his Subaru-kun =)- , and so he feels protected and shielded against that weird little thing emotion is. He outlines his mother's death as a very important moment in his life, and that's a little trace that tells us maybe Seishirou really 'felt' something towards Setsuka after all. If not, then why does he remarks it as the such a deed that changed his life? Shouldn't it mean nothing but "another broken thing" to him? Is he keeping that little red comb only for personal use?? ;)

With such a little time dedicated to Sakurazuka Seishirou's past, so many questions are to remain officially unanswered. So we'll just keep wondering whether our Seishirou was capable of developing affection towards a mother he barely got to know but eventhough gave birth to him or if he's, after all, the ultimate killing machine.






A huge thanks to Setsuna and Mitsuki-chan for letting me put this wonderful essay online! ^_^


© Ueno Park, Sakurazuka Val 1998.
All characters, images and multimedia files are © CLAMP. All Rights Reserved.